Dallas wrote:Hi Lauren, welcome to the site! Glad to have you. The nearest I can relate to it is: My friends came over and had a bottle of Jack Daniels. They drank it all -- and then, they put some ice tea in it for me and encouraged me to drink my tea out of a Jack Daniels bottle. (This is a metaphore... didn't really happen).
Would you think, that I was:
1. Sane.
2. Smart
3. Dumb
4. Insane
5. Headed on a road for some big time trouble?
6. WTF? Where is your head????
7. Should I feel guilty?
Perhaps, if you can answer that question for me -- you might have a clue about your ideal answer for yourself.
Myself -- I would feel more than guilt. I would feel terrified! It's kind of like two stories in the Big Book:
1. The guy that poured a little whiskey in his milk and said: "Maybe this won't hurt me -- considering I have no intention of drinking, getting drunk, and besides... a little milk never hurt me!"
2. The Jaywalker story: After his legs and back were broken several times, and he swore over and over and over and over again, he would never do it again -- on the day they wheeled him out on a wheel-chair, he jumps out of the chair and runs in front of a trash truck and a bus!
If I did that myself -- I would consider myself as "already in relapse -- waiting for my next drink!"
If I was serious about my recovery -- I would make some huge changes mucho pronto.
I don't know if that helps you -- but, I'm sure it helped me.
Best wishes to you,
Dallas
