Setting a new date

Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober
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Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:09 pm

Setting a new date

Postby hosterman1975 » Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:12 pm

Hi all,
I am new to this forum, and have only made one previous post, but i wanted to tell every one that i am unfortunately in the position of having to reset my sobriety date yet again. So Today August 3rd, is my new date. I hate the fact that i have to do this, but there is no one to blame but myself.

I feel good about today, and since i have found this site and read through number of the posts, I feel like i have found a valuable tool to help aid me in my recovery. The advise that is given here is wonderful and I have already read anumber of posts that have spoken to me personally. At some point i am sure that i will share my story with you all, but suffice it to say I am one of those drunks that has consistently done the Alcoholic waltz 1 2 3 slip 1 2 3 slip. I have never taken any of the action steps, because laziness or fear, im not sure which probably both.

I am determined not to make that mistake again this time, but i know that i am required to take action for this to work and that nobody is going to do it for me. This will be difficult for me because i have really hard time forcing myself to sit down and do the work. I am always looking for the easier softer way.

I feel like this may be my last chance to do this program before i lose everything, and i really dont want to screw it up. I think i will be leaning all of you to help me get through, and i look forward to getting to know all of you better.

Posts: 335
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:10 am

Postby Ranman99 » Sun Aug 29, 2010 9:19 am

Hey how are you doing now? Took me a long time to get 20 months under my belt. A long long time and lot's of pain, grief and selfish behaviour.


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Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:09 pm

Postby hosterman1975 » Mon Sep 06, 2010 2:25 pm

I am sad to say that september 7th, 2010 will be my new date

Larry H.
Posts: 47
Joined: Sun Aug 01, 2010 7:55 pm

Postby Larry H. » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:52 pm

Nobody ever told me that I had to like doing the steps. I certainly had the fear of steps 4 and 5 that you talk about and quite frankly I did not want to do them. However my desire to obtain sobriety was greater than my fear of the steps and I did them even though I did not want to. The result is 34 years sober and no slips or relapses. The program really does work if you work it (All the steps) but my experience was that I had to reach a point that I would do anything "ANYTHING" to get and stay sober. I hope you have reached that point and if you are not there yet you will be unless you die or get locked up first.

You have to decide, do you want sobriety more than anything in the world? If not you might just as well keep drinking until you reach your bottom and are willing to do the steps

I wish you well

I Didn't Sleep On My Lawn Last Night

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Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 1:49 am

Postby PeaceJoy » Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:50 pm

I am new here too and with almost 4 months sober, I feel like I"m hanging on the edge of sobriety. I really wish you well and hope you find your way to an AA meeting, even 2 or 3 per day until you get to feeling a little stronger. Remember the 24 hour chip? When you get one of those........then if you feel the desire to drink, put the chip in your mouth and suck on it. When it melts, then you can have a drink. :lol:

One foot in front of the other.......


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Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:10 am

Postby Ranman99 » Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:16 pm

Thanks guy's. Larry I like your signature :lol:

I didn't sleep in the dog house last night myself and for that I am greatful.

I used to have a number of wonky ideas around 4 and 5 and then I gave up becuase I was heading south again and again.

I can tell you that the fourth time you redo them is a breeze 8)

And then when you do them on a daily basis as part of your 10th they are actually magical :P

Or some such nonsense :roll: Happy 9th step month!!!!!

Bobby D
Posts: 64
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:30 am

me too

Postby Bobby D » Sun Sep 12, 2010 12:12 am

Recently set a new date too...after 8 months did the same thing so many of us do.. steps 1.2 & 3.. then try and muscle through..... Worked for a while. Seems you have to work the program as designed.. 4 and 5 are hard....I can never seem to get past listing my resentments... I'm still feeling I am justified in having some of these and cant seem to get over that.... In my first go around I never really had a sponser and i think that was my big mistake....going to be different this time.. has to be if I want to stay sober!

good luck all


Posts: 335
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Postby Ranman99 » Sun Sep 12, 2010 6:02 am

Hey Bobby, just never be discouraged and beat yourself up. Setting new dates is something I was quite good at for many many years. I was better at that than anything else.

However in the end 1-12 with a sponsor and practicising the principles in all of my daily affairs has blown my mind.

Blows me away more than the many many other types of trips I took.

Now I just try to make a little bit of progress every day/week and clean up my messes fast and move on.

About to celebrate 21 months after 20 years of trying. One suggestion:

Don't think about 5 until you've completed 4 and when you do 4 do the first column straight down first before you think of the other columns.

I guess that is 2 suggestions.

Ciao for now. Good luck.

Site Admin
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm

Postby Dallas » Sun Sep 12, 2010 10:47 am

I went through a period of setting a new date almost daily. I kept writing on my desk calendar "Todays the day! I'm going back to AA and I'm going to be sober again!"

That didn't work, so I changed it to, "Today's the day! I'm going back to AA and I'm going to be sober for the rest of my life!"

That didn't work... so I changed it to "Today's the day! I'm going back to AA and I'm going to be sober for the rest of my life! And, today is the date of my last drink!"

That didn't work either. I'd pour my one last drink -- and before I could get to a meeting I'd be drunk again. I'd stagger into the meeting, figuring for sure ... "Well, I'll sober up in the meeting like I did the first time I went to AA!" And, that didn't work... Middle of the meeting, I'd get thirsty and go out to my car for a little nip to get me through the meeting... and often I'd pass out in my car w/out getting back inside.

Most of the times, I'd leave my house an hour early -- to get to a meeting that was 10-15 mins. away. And, I'd end up so drunk that I usually couldn't find the meeting -- or I'd get there three or four hours after the meeting had been over.

That's when I finally really figured out what it means -- to be Powerless. To be a real alcoholic. To understand -- that the choice was no longer up to me -- when and how -- I was going to get sober, or when I would or would not have the next drink, and how much that drink would be.

That's when I figured out that -- all that I knew and had learned about AA -- was absolutely worthless to me. Even if it was something "right" I no longer had the power to do what was right.

That's when I learned what it means to be: "suffering from a hopeless state of mind and body."

That's when I finally learned that Hopeless meant: "Dallas, is going to die drinking. He has become alcoholic. He f---d up and screwed up for the last time -- a long time ago!"

I had been reading and studying the BB, all those months, of drinking, trying to figure out "Why won't this work for me?"

That's when I finally also learned what it meant, "But, for the Grace of God -- there go I."

I discovered that God's grace -- just like sobriety -- doesn't come to me on "my terms" or on "my time" -- and I have no guarantee of either one of them!

I had to die -- before the Solution could find me. I wish better results for you. I hope you don't have to do that. Every single day for the last 24 years has been a "bonus day" for me. A day that I do not deserve to have -- but, since I have it -- I'm going to try and do something good with it.


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