- sponsoring a non alcholic

sponsoring a non alcholic




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

sponsoring a non alcholic

Postby mhoule87 » Wed Aug 25, 2010 6:55 pm

I started sponsoring a young man in the rooms who I don't see has any problem with alcohol or drugs. From what I can see it seems like he has more problems with low self worth and spam.. But I continue the sponsorship regardless because I feel the steps can benefit any one who is willing to work them. What should I do? Is it right to sponsor some one who isn't an alcoholic?
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Postby Dallas » Thu Aug 26, 2010 1:34 am

Two questions:

1. How did he end up in the rooms?
2. Did he ask you to sponsor him?

btw: Welcome to the site and to the forums! Glad you're here!

Dallas
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Postby november6 » Tue Sep 07, 2010 11:15 pm

This isn't from the book (obviously) it is my opinion: I stray away from sponsorship of non-alcoholics because I see it as a danger to other real alcoholics in the rooms. As AA's we often are looking for the easier softer path - the one with the least amount of effort for us. That has been true for me and sponsees I have had. In the beginning of my sobriety it was seldom out of virtue that I took the step or kept my AA commitments out of sheer virtue or even because of a desire to feel good. It really boiled down to getting so low that the steps, the AA commitments and the seemingly rediculous directions real (and truly free & happy) AA's gave me actually became easier than what I was doing...

And what is my exp with non-aa's in AA? for me it was years off and on of me believing there was an easier softer way than what the book described - because I had a knack for searching out and befriending those who could function soberly on a "1,2,3" program. And what would happen? I would be miserable. I would occasionally drink. And be baffled! I did what they did! I learned this lesson by having a non-AA as a sponsor 13 years ago. I kept doing things as she directed, and I kept relapsing after a year. A few years into her sponsoring me she decided to drink again. And she, we and God all learned that she was a normy. No wonder she was surving on what many of us who knew her could not!

Over the years I have had a handful of ppl walk into the rooms and sk me to sponsor them and once we sat down to look at step one came to believe they had other things going on besides alcoholism. My husbands best friend is one of those men. So he did not join AA after we spoke. He actually joined a fitness group! And has in the last year seemed to make a great turn-around. So lastly.. this, I guess, is a personal choice for an AA to make. I personally think, man i sure am glad that my husbands friend doesnt have one year in AA and is in the rooms showing people how meetings and a gym membership works if you work it! :D
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Postby Dallas » Tue Sep 07, 2010 11:59 pm

Welcome to the site November6! I really enjoyed reading your experience and I thank you for participating and sharing the valuable information! I'm anticipating reading more from you so I'll keep this short and look for some more that you may have shared! I hope you keep coming back. I'm sure that we can all benefit by your experience.

Dallas B.
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Postby november6 » Wed Sep 08, 2010 12:23 am

Hey Dallas thank you so much for the warm welcome! Was just looking at some of your posts actually! You are very involved on here and it was really great to see that there are some frequent fliers here:) My family and I travel for a living and with our 8mo old combined I have been having a hard time adjusting to a solid level of commitment w mtngs/sponcees and so my sponsor last night reminded me o the 4th edition foreword and suggested I find a traveling homegroup equivalency online.. She also reminded me of her other old pigeon's/my old litter mates introduction to AA; it was here! She wa too scared to go to a mtng for the first time so she came to an AA website and someone began to work with her and finally she went to her first mtng and it's where I found her and we became like family.. When she had a some time in the rooms he and the guy decided to meet finally at a mtng and we all went with her and it turned out to be a dear older friend of our sponsor.. So here I am.. My 2nd traveling homegroup.. I will be around:)
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