- Daily Check-In

Daily Check-In




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Daily Check-In

Postby november6 » Thu Sep 09, 2010 3:04 pm

I am going to use this thread to check in regularly if I find myself not having a post or question or thread to respond to or start - I find it still hard to be consistent with things in AA, if I am not consistent, ha! For me it is almost easier to go to a meeting every day than just once a week! So, I am committing to checking in here at least once a day, whether I post on another forum or not. For my accountability to this site and its members.

S0, in a nutshell, this thread isn't meant to replace being of service on other threads, nor to be used as a journal.. it is simply a means to keep me coming back and being accountable. Join if you like:)




Todays daily do? Woke up with finally a great amount of rest and did the daily check-in/meditation with my (also sober) husband. Drank coffee, started off good. Preparing for a visit from my mother. She is visiting us in LA where we are visiting for work. My mother has 27 years as of a few weeks ago.. she is a really big blessing to AA. Though we can go into some serious combat, ha! I am looking forward to seeing her.. and maybe slightly anxious.
november6
 
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Postby Dallas » Thu Sep 09, 2010 11:13 pm

Well. Your checking in -- will not only be helpful for you -- it will be helping me, too! And, I'm sure it will help way many more than just me!

There will be anonymous newcomers cruising through here -- checking to see if you're still here and still checking in. :lol: You'll never hear from most of them -- but, I guarantee you, that down the road, you will hear from a few -- that will tell you, "I've been coming here for months reading what you wrote -- and I'm ready to talk now. You've helped me!" And, once you hear it -- it will make you feel so good about yourself and about what you did "keeping first things first" that helped them -- that I'll bet it will bring a couple of tears of joy and gratitude to your eyes! :wink:
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Postby november6 » Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:31 pm

Thanks again, Dallas!

Ok.. today - Mom is here.. we are crammed into this sublet apt and now are fixing to head out to Venice beach and the zoo and where ever else my mother wants to venture to. Woke up on a good note.. My Sponsor has still not called me back in 5 days. She seems irritated with me because I did not get back to her last week in a timely manner.. I called her 4 times in 3 days last try.. She's been my sponsor since I moved back to Austin 3 years ago.. this happens sometimes, but I am a bit irritated about it! I want to call her just to check in tho now I feel like avoiding it because I am awaiting an ear full? Ok. I am going to try again anyway. I'll check in tomorrow how it went. She is a feisty woman and I guess, it just comes with the territory sometimes..
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Postby Dallas » Fri Sep 10, 2010 5:07 pm

Thank you, for checking in again November! I sure appreciate it when you do. Reading your updates and follow-ups with what's going on with you, is a lot of help to me. For one thing -- it keeps my head from being on me, thinking about me -- all the time! :wink: And, I've discovered that when I can keep my head from thinking about me -- by thinking about someone else -- I seem to automatically have some pretty awesome days!

I went through something similar with my sponsor, once. Well -- actually more than once! :lol:

My problem though, was: I kept screwing up. He would tell me to do something -- and I'd let other stuff become more important than doing what he said to do.

For example: He would tell me to call him on a specific day at a specific time. Like, 5:06 p.m. Not 5:05 p.m. or 5:07 p.m. And, I was supposed to write him a letter ahead of my call telling him what was going on for me, and I was to be sure that he got my letter with plenty of time to read it -- before I called.

My life was so busy and important -- that I was constantly either missing the letter or missing the check-in time.

Then, one day something odd started happening. When I called him, he asked me 'Why are you calling me?' And, before I could completely answer him, he told me that I needed to find a sponsor that I would listen to and to stop bothering him!

Wow! I didn't know how to take that! My first reaction was: I wanted to say 'Screw you! I will find someone else!' But, for once in my life (it seemed) -- I kept my mouth shut. I was mad at him but I didn't tell him that. And, he just slammed the phone down and hung up on me.

The next time I called him -- the call lasted about 10 seconds and he slammed the phone down again and hung up on me.

One of the reasons that I had asked my sponsor to sponsor me, was: I was so impressed with the quality of the lives of many of the men and women that he sponsored. They were like shining examples of the AA program of recovery -- and they had done wonderous things in their lives. They all had come from that bottomless pit of hopelessness, and re-created and re-built their lives into lives that I admired!

I had been told by all of them that -- he's tough! Follow his directions specifically and to the letter or he won't waste his time on you! He'll drop you in a heart-beat!

He's a very busy guy. He has sponsored hundreds of alkies. He's always in service somewhere for A.A. -- and he works his regular day job, too.

I thought that maybe he just had a huge Ego problem! :lol: :lol: But, I had been one of the ones -- that had difficulty staying sober and getting better. I had gotten to the jumping off place -- before I asked him to sponsor me. Somehow, I seemed to know in my heart -- that God specifically wanted me to be sponsored by him! I needed someone that was tough and wouldn't put up with my crap! :lol:

So -- after he 'fired me' without saying that he did -- he just hung up on me, I decided to double and triple my efforts at doing what I said I would do in the past! I figured -- okay -- you may not be my sponsor -- but, I'm going to do specifically and precisely what you've told me to do in the past -- I'm going to keep writing my letters, on time, to you, making sure that you get them -- and calling you at 5:06 pm -- exactly -- so that you can hang up on me! :lol: :lol: And, I did it! Over and over and over and over again!

Then, one day, he didn't hang up on me. And, we talked.

His objective -- without telling me at the time (I had to figure this out on my own) was: He was trying to teach me the importance of structure and discipline! And, trying to help me to become structured and disciplined in my daily living. He was trying to teach me how to live sober -- by making my sobriety top priority in my life -- and demonstrating its priority -- by the actions that I took! He knew, that if I continued to live life like I lived life -- I'd just continue to be a failure! And, that if I didn't change, it would be a waste of his time and my time.

I love this man -- and I feel that I owe my life and sobriety, to the many things that he has done to help me to learn, and to become the sober person that I always wanted to be -- and more.

It took me a long time to prove to him and to prove to myself, by trying to prove to him -- that I meant business! That I was willing to go to any lengths to accept and follow directions. And, I'm so glad that I did!

Dallas
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Postby november6 » Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:29 pm

dallas! thanks :D

The first week I had my Tampa sponsor she had me meet her at a club to do our first bb reading together and i was 5 mins late and she wasnt there, so i assumed she was late.. and i waited another 5 and called and she said she had been there and left! I had only met up with her maybe 1 or 2 times before and so i was in shock! She told me I could reschedule for another date and be on time, ha! I think we met up a few hours later and I was punctual..

And with current sponsor? Yes.. there has def been some slacking on my part in the calling regularly dept. I havnt missed any specific phone appts, tho I havnt kept my "I'll call regularly" vows. In fact, I didnt call yesterday like I intended to! BUT.. remembering that I had posted I would got me to call her this morn before I checked in here! i guess this check-in section here is working in my favor already:) I got an answering machine, and I will try again :)
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Postby Dallas » Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:30 pm

I'm glad you started this check-in section. Nice to hear the update from you. Wishing you well!
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Postby Ranman99 » Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:24 am

Nice read. I the journal I started in the early days of my sobriety I have a list of items that you could say I had a beef with my sponsor over. Things that were really peesssing me off if you like. I had one session with my sponsor where I was going to go down my list and instead we got into a bit of an argument and broke off before I had the chance to cover these items.

I love to read that list now many months and after working the steps and applying the principals.

It reminds me how much of a nut case I was :oops:

I came to believe that the expression I don't agree with my sponsor on this point yet was quite helpful. Now we are about 85% aligned 85% percent of the time. :lol:

Now I phone my sponsor to see how he's doing. Ya I also needed a certain approach.

Ciao, all 8)
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Postby Dallas » Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:13 am

Just checking in here w/ you November! Good to see you here, too, Ranman!

I'm doing well. My serenity is in check. I'm sober. Reasonably happy.
And, looking forward to an awesome bonus day of living in sobriety!

Dallas
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Postby november6 » Sun Sep 12, 2010 1:46 pm

nice dallas! :D And ha ranman99, My old Tampa sponsor and I were just talking the other day about that and laughing! I broke a cell phone once throwing it after a phone call that ended with "F*** you!" (then called her back 20 mins later saying "are you still my sponsor?" ha.. We were laughing about how I used to pretty much take her direction a lot, but, because I was so afraid of doing things my own way with the same relapse or bankrupt results - when she gave me direction that I didnt want to do or thought didnt make sense - I wouldnt just simply say "no", I would attempt to do anything I thought could change her mind be it yelling, firing, debating, or - my last resort - trying to get all the old timers to side with me by talking a lot of smack about her to them! ha! I really put her thru the ringer! We would gang up on her pretty good, but at least that she let us see she never really faultered. she never raised her voice back, never showed anger never cracked. I have so much respect for the gifts she gave and/or pointed me to. She helped me find a foundation/demension that I had - in the previous 10 yrs of relapsing once a year - started thinking was maybe just an old AA wive stale. But it exists!

Today, I am going to go hang out with our babysitter to go to a flea market - yay.. this might sound kindof nutty, but I have been in AA or around AA since I came into the world and sometimes it seems as though I am a little institutionalized when it comes to making friends outside of the rooms, so this is a good thing for me to do today.
Callled the sponsor twice yesterday, still no call back.. its been about a week.. hmm... I may be self-centered, but I feel like this is some message to me? hmmm...
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Postby Dallas » Sun Sep 12, 2010 6:32 pm

I didn't suggest this -- but it would be something I would do... (of course, not with the sponsor I have... only with the sponsor you have) :lol: :lol:

I would call and leave a message kind of like this:

"You know. I've called you a few time and still no answer. I'm beggining to worry a little bit about you. You are still sober aren't you? Would you like me to call some AA friends and bring them with me to make a call on you? I sure hope that you're okay! And, I really hope you're still sober, too! Are you still sober?"

If that doesn't get you a call back -- perhaps, you might want to call 911, and have them go by and check on her! Hopefully -- she will be okay. But, it wouldn't hurt to check and see.

Sponsors don't always stay sober. I've never had a sponsor that started drinking again -- but I've known of more than a few AA's that ended up sponsoring their sponsor!
Dallas
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