I'm Pebbles, and I'm an alcoholic

Alcoholics and Addicts sharing their personal recovery story with us to help others who want to recover.
Pebbles
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:24 am
Location: Idaho

I'm Pebbles, and I'm an alcoholic

Postby Pebbles » Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:24 am

It took me 11 years of being around the program to finally hit my bottom, and realize (with my higher powers help) that I needed AA.
I grew up in a Catholic home, always going to church, believing in God, etc. I always knew there was a God, but I basically ignored Him, until I wanted something, of course. My childhood years weren't very eventful, as I was such a shy kid, I never did very much, unless it had something to do with horses or sports in school....
And then.....I moved out and got a job when I graduated high school, and my drinking career started. I moved to a very isolated town out in the boonies that had 3 bars in it. When I first started drinking, it wasn't very much. I think my first bar tab was $7.00 for a 2 week time period. I was the "new kid" in town, and didn't know very many people. It was when I got to know people and started hanging out at the bar after work when it all really began for me. I got a boyfriend who drank, and did other things besides. I had never used crank, cocaine, or pot before I met him. Crank and cocaine were fun, but very expensive-pot I didn't really care for. I was more of a alcohol person....easily accessible, and it didn't make me feel paranoid like the drugs did. But, I suppose I could have become addicted to those also, if I had kept using them in the manner that I was.
Long story short-I married that guy, had a daughter with him, and that relationship was a relationship that I learned to NOT have. There was physical and emotional abuse on both of our parts. In the end, I ended up disliking him very much and decided that divorce was the best for all parties involved. When I was going through my divorce, I met my current husband......
My current husband was very wild...... much more wild than my ex...but he had(has) this animal magnetism that attracted me to him; besides the fact that we're both alcoholic. Long story short with him: he ended up getting into trouble, and had to go to prison for 6 months. When he got out, he figured out that maybe he needed to start straightening up, and started going to AA. But you see--I didn't have a problem... :wink:
When I was younger, I drank alot more than I did in the later years. After having my kids, it was hard to drink and have a hangover and have to take care of the kids to boot. So I could go without drinking for 6-8 months at a time, but I was a dry drunk inbetween those times. Besides the fact that I had to hide my drinking now, because my husband was in AA. I even tried Alanon for a couple of years, but it didn't have what I needed(huh, wonder why?? :P )
Eventually I quit going to Alanon altogether, but I was going to AA meetings and other functions with my husband, all the while looking at all the differences instead of the similarities. I had never had a DUI(yet) had never been to jail(yet) hadn't lost my family(yet) I had a good job(for now) a home(for now) etc. etc. etc. I was looking at all the differences, instead of the similarities, and feeling miserable. Finally one night at work, I was walking around, and feeling so miserable I couldn't stand it. I finally broke down, and whispered to myself "God, I need help!!" when this loving feeling( I still can't fully explain it) came over me, and I heard the words in my head say "Go to AA". Now around here, we call it the pink cloud, and boy, I had that feeling with me for 2 weeks straight. I went to my first AA meeting a week after I had that experience, and I haven't looked back since. AA is my life now. I need AA to fully live the life that I've always wanted to experience, and couldn't find any where else. I (God willing) will have 3 years on the 23 of this month. The only way I have been able to stay sober, and be happy, joyous, and free, is by going to meetings, having a sponsor and doing the steps, sponsoring other people, and doing service work. "Doing the Do" has given me the life I have always wanted, and I know that if I quit "doing the do", then I don't stand a chance. I have to stay active in this program, or else.......




Dallas
Site Admin
Posts: 4782
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Dallas » Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:56 am

Hello Pebbles! Welcome to the forum and thank you for participating and sharing your story! I enjoyed reading it and I look forward to reading more from you!

Dallas


Return to “Addiction Recovery Stories”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests