I'm Pebbles, and I'm an alcoholic

Alcoholics and Addicts in 12 Step Programs sharing their personal recovery stories with hope to help others who alcoholics and addicts who want to recover using the 12 Steps.
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Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:24 am

I'm Pebbles, and I'm an alcoholic

Postby Pebbles » Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:24 am

It took me 11 years of being around the program to finally hit my bottom, and realize (with my higher powers help) that I needed AA.
I grew up in a Catholic home, always going to church, believing in God, etc. I always knew there was a God, but I basically ignored Him, until I wanted something, of course. My childhood years weren't very eventful, as I was such a shy kid, I never did very much, unless it had something to do with horses or sports in school....
And then.....I moved out and got a job when I graduated high school, and my drinking career started. I moved to a very isolated town out in the boonies that had 3 bars in it. When I first started drinking, it wasn't very much. I think my first bar tab was $7.00 for a 2 week time period. I was the "new kid" in town, and didn't know very many people. It was when I got to know people and started hanging out at the bar after work when it all really began for me. I got a boyfriend who drank, and did other things besides. I had never used crank, cocaine, or pot before I met him. Crank and cocaine were fun, but very expensive-pot I didn't really care for. I was more of a alcohol person....easily accessible, and it didn't make me feel paranoid like the drugs did. But, I suppose I could have become addicted to those also, if I had kept using them in the manner that I was.
Long story short-I married that guy, had a daughter with him, and that relationship was a relationship that I learned to NOT have. There was physical and emotional abuse on both of our parts. In the end, I ended up disliking him very much and decided that divorce was the best for all parties involved. When I was going through my divorce, I met my current husband......
My current husband was very wild...... much more wild than my ex...but he had(has) this animal magnetism that attracted me to him; besides the fact that we're both alcoholic. Long story short with him: he ended up getting into trouble, and had to go to prison for 6 months. When he got out, he figured out that maybe he needed to start straightening up, and started going to AA. But you see--I didn't have a problem... :wink:
When I was younger, I drank alot more than I did in the later years. After having my kids, it was hard to drink and have a hangover and have to take care of the kids to boot. So I could go without drinking for 6-8 months at a time, but I was a dry drunk inbetween those times. Besides the fact that I had to hide my drinking now, because my husband was in AA. I even tried Alanon for a couple of years, but it didn't have what I needed(huh, wonder why?? :P )
Eventually I quit going to Alanon altogether, but I was going to AA meetings and other functions with my husband, all the while looking at all the differences instead of the similarities. I had never had a DUI(yet) had never been to jail(yet) hadn't lost my family(yet) I had a good job(for now) a home(for now) etc. etc. etc. I was looking at all the differences, instead of the similarities, and feeling miserable. Finally one night at work, I was walking around, and feeling so miserable I couldn't stand it. I finally broke down, and whispered to myself "God, I need help!!" when this loving feeling( I still can't fully explain it) came over me, and I heard the words in my head say "Go to AA". Now around here, we call it the pink cloud, and boy, I had that feeling with me for 2 weeks straight. I went to my first AA meeting a week after I had that experience, and I haven't looked back since. AA is my life now. I need AA to fully live the life that I've always wanted to experience, and couldn't find any where else. I (God willing) will have 3 years on the 23 of this month. The only way I have been able to stay sober, and be happy, joyous, and free, is by going to meetings, having a sponsor and doing the steps, sponsoring other people, and doing service work. "Doing the Do" has given me the life I have always wanted, and I know that if I quit "doing the do", then I don't stand a chance. I have to stay active in this program, or else.......

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Postby Dallas » Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:56 am

Hello Pebbles! Welcome to the forum and thank you for participating and sharing your story! I enjoyed reading it and I look forward to reading more from you!


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