Good morning Geoff! And I truly hope it is good for you today.
First, I want to tell you that I love you, and I am so grateful for all your replies, and for the AA history forum, and for your wonderful spirit.
Thank you for sharing your heart. It touches ours deeply and gives us courage to stay sober in the midst of hell.
In answer to your opening question: my experience has been that I attract it, according to my spiritual state at the time.
Been where you're at. At 4 months sober I fell in love with the man of my dreams, who was also in the program. Long story short - he was a con who was just using me & wasn't even staying sober. By that time, I had moved in with him & was fairly trapped in a year lease.
It was just like the alcohol!
I was powerless to get out. My life was insane! I couldn't live with him or without him. He was killing me but I didn't care!
I was drunk on my emotions.
I knew that I was in deep doo. I found a woman who had been through the same situation, whom I admired and respected. She took me through the steps, substituting him for the word alcohol. The way out was gradual and painful, but necessary for my emotional and physical sobriety. And as I paid attention to the way God was working in my life and in my heart, I was delighted, excited and amazed.
And, I wasn't alone!
We are all in this together! And we can help each other by sharing our experience, strength and HOPE.
My prayers are with you, dear Aussie.
Thank you SO much for sharing!