- What do you do -- when you're in doubt?

What do you do -- when you're in doubt?




Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

What do you do -- when you're in doubt?

Postby Dallas » Fri Dec 03, 2010 1:53 pm

"We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right
answers come after we have tried this for a while." ~pg 86, BB

"As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action." ~pg 87, BB


Happy to announce -- that this still works! :wink:

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Toast » Sun Dec 05, 2010 12:49 pm

Hi, Good topic, made for the way i'm feeling this week.

Have doubts about continuing my attendance at AA meetings, i know they wont miss me and i sure as hell may miss them but the last few weeks its been all controversy and not much AA. My wife says i come home worse than when i left. Now that is serious!

Recently we've had to sit through some of the better known sexual predators, both male and female, tell the world from the top table just how empty there lives would be if it wasnt for AA? The cynic in me says ' yeh i bet, where else would someone like you find people crazy enough to believe a word you say?'We've also had our fair share of the back stabbings and character assassinations i thought i'd left behind in the bars i far to often frequented. This isnt fellowship, no one comes to AA to score points.

Been attending meetings without a drink since jan 04 and never felt this way about the fellowship i once loved so much. Maybe its me, maybe i'm becoming cynical because they're not all doing it my way or maybe i've no tolerance for other members different ways of working there programme or maybe its because my neighbourhood is under 2 feet of snow and has been for over a week and everythings has ground to a halt?

Or maybe its because christmas is approaching and my daughter is doing her usual holding our grandkids as hostages until the world comes round to her way of thinking. Which is exactly like her fathers old way of thinking but without the booze. No one needs to tell me our problem rests in the mind. As soon as she was old enough my daughter went out and ' rescued' a guy who was just like her dad and he brought all the problems out types do to our once happy home.

Maybe its because i'm approaching 50? I know when i turned 40 i went off the rails big style, being sober at the time i never drank but i had several ego driven slips that i've been making amends for ever since.

I remember being in this position many times when i drank. I would make some bar my favourite and get to know everyone and make friends then a year or two later when they all started pissing me off i would give them all there character and end up in deep do do. And also having to move house, job etc, usually to somewhere far less 'respectable' but much more ' affordable' than before.

Ran it past my sponsor and he tells me to give the meetings a rest for a while. He says i should use the fellowship side and do more ' coffee shop' meetings with like minded friends and also use the phone more. For me the danger of this is hearing only what i want to hear. Nothings going to prick my conscience and make have a good look at myself.I'm worried this willl lead to another giant leap backwards.

If anyone has any thoughts on the above i sure would appreciate a different take on it. After all, i've been wrong before.

Love,light,laughter.
Toast
 
Posts: 471
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 12:50 pm

Postby Hionlife » Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:00 pm

Toast...I went through this not long ago. I talked with my sponsor and she told me that the only thing I could change was me....so I picked my meetings wisely. And the ones that ended up in those meetings and pushed my buttons...I began to look at them as just how sick they still are. Like little toddlers. Who can get seriously pissed at a Toddler. Then I prayed about it. God opened my ears to hear others complaining about the same thing. We are lucky enough here to have a clubhouse and lots of meetings. But a few of us decided to start a new meeting 3 times a week. It has been such a blessing. We now have 25 - 40 attending. And we try to keep bringing it back to the BB . Not a How was your day meeting.It has worked for me! :wink:
Hionlife
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:44 am
Location: USA Kentucky

Postby Dallas » Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:18 pm

I can't wait to visit KY! :lol:

I'm on the road and have a really slow web connection. Will write more when I get some speed connection! :lol:

Hugs to you all!

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Pebbles » Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:56 pm

I know when the meetings I attend start to end up being like a family reunion rather than an AA meeting, I need to remember to take what I like, and leave the rest. Also, if the meeting is getting off track, and I notice it, I can do something about it by sharing what is supposed to be shared at the meeting by talking about the topic.
Pebbles
 
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:24 am
Location: Idaho

Postby merckx » Mon Dec 06, 2010 2:31 pm

Everyday I meet w/ patients who don't want to go back to meetings because they are full of active drunks, addicts, and hypocrites who they didn't learn anything from. I tell all my patients it takes one to know one and if you can find one outside of you then you know what to look for inside of you. Sometimes we forget what we looked like when we were "that sick" and the reminder is helpful.

There has not been a day that I have gone to work and not seen a piece of myself in one of my patients. There isn't a week that goes by that I am stopped from doing something because my higher power reminds me that I discussed the same behavior with a patient earlier in the week.

Like Pebbles said, take what you like and leave the rest. On the other hand if you are leaving a lot and taking only a little it might be good to check out some other meetings.

This is my first post ... so take it with a grain of salt ... "organized" meetings are not the program. Meetings come in all forms, shapes, and sizes. Maybe you need a break from large meetings and would benefit from the company of 2-3 members over a cup of coffee.

I will leave you with what my sponsor tells me ... put it on paper. You have a resentment. Inventory it. Find out what part of self is affected and find out what shortcomings or defects of character are present. That information will let you know what direction you need to go.
merckx
 
Posts: 56
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:14 pm
Location: Indiana

Postby Dallas » Tue Dec 07, 2010 12:29 am

Welcome to the site merckx. Thanks for sharing!

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Toast » Wed Dec 08, 2010 5:33 pm

Thanks for all the words of wisdom, it really is much appreciated.

Like it says in the BB when i'm upset its me thats in the wrong.

Wisdom = intelligence + love, this is something i've been sadly lacking lately, no excuses, just got to try harder.

Thanks again
Toast
 
Posts: 471
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 12:50 pm

Postby Pebbles » Thu Dec 09, 2010 8:56 am

Progress, not perfection..... :)
Pebbles
 
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:24 am
Location: Idaho

Postby Toast » Mon Dec 13, 2010 2:02 pm

Over the last few days i've found another cure for AA apathy, get to meetings out the district, meet some fresh faces, listen to some truely inspirational shares and renew my gratitude for whats no longer in my life! :D
Toast
 
Posts: 471
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 12:50 pm

Next

Return to A. A. Meeting Topics

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests









.








12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - What do you do -- when you're in doubt?



cron