Dallas wrote:I understand.
One year for Christmas -- I gave out I.O.U.'s with a Christmas note, that said, "Hopefully, we'll be able to celebrate another Christmas in February or July, and I'll be able to get you some presents then. We can even put up a tree -- wrap some gifts and have a fun Christmas party! I love you with all my heart -- and I wish I could do and give you more right now -- but, me, is all I've got today." I had to do that. I was basically living out of my car, changing clothes in a storage shed, and taking showers for quarters at a nearby camp ground. And, I stayed sober!
Reality is a myth. It's a personal story that we tell ourselves -- and, when enough others agree on the story -- we call it Reality.
We celebrate Christmas on Dec. 25th -- not because Christ was actually born that day -- but, simply because He was born. There have been many times in my life -- when other people's reality didn't line up very well with my financial or emotional well-being. So, rather than opt in to the Personal Myth's & Stories -- that "they" were telling themselves -- I had to think about my own Personal Story. My myth. My reality -- regardless if they agreed with me or not.
Trying to make other people happy and solve all their problems isn't an easy job. Most of the time -- it really sucks. And, it always produces hundreds of reasons for a drink!
Did you know, that Good Times, can suck, too? I was able to weather the problems -- sober -- but, one time, back in the beginning of my sober adventure -- Life got so Good -- I celebrated it! And, had to start sobriety all over again! Yep. I was coming up on six months -- and I celebrated the six-month chip, two-weeks too early!
merckx wrote:I can only speak for myself on this one ...
The kind of drunk that I was, if I had children and lived with me while I was drinking, me sober would be the best gift they ever got. I liked to think I was a good son, a good uncle, a good brother, and a good husband ... but I was none of those things when I drank and used. Now I am a good son to my parents, a good uncle to my nephews, and a good brother to my siblings, and according to my wife I am doing pretty good as a husband too.
You could ask anyone of those people would they rather have a gift or me sober ... and they would pick me sober.
A side note to that is in the past (and sometimes today) I was an incredibly selfish person (I am sure that comes as a surprise). Now I am far less selfish and the end result of that is people get better gifts now
Yesterday was 44 days and God willing today is going to find you at 45 days. Keep it up!
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