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this great tuesday




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this great tuesday

Postby JudyJersey » Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:34 am

Well have to say this great Tuesday - Sober 44 days and heck I am seeing that even little or big problems can be dealt with without the bottle. The so called boyfriend did his crack again and told him again it is over - why does this guy have a hold on me? I am such a giver and peolpe take and take and take because of that. My fuel pump went in my car 600 bucks later that I do not have and Xmas excuse is going to suck for my boys.... they understand though they are old enough so they are troopers, the 15 and 20 say get more for Nick (he is 12) so he expects I guess you can say a decent xmas. My ex husband starting some trouble with me about the little one and school, long story son does not like his middle school, his dad going to finally move out of motel he has been in and wants to have nick live with him and swith schools - I don't think so with the court involved...... he has not provided for them in the last 4 years has been me providing everything but he is the super dad when he gets them on weekend and buys them a lunch and a new game or takes them fishing...... My grandmother sent me a not so nice letter i owe her money and did not pay her for 2 months now i am the biggest B granddaughter...... and wow STILL SOBER.. and will keep it that way :D
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Postby Hionlife » Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:35 am

Congrads on the 44 days Judy!!!! :D Life on life's terms can be difficult be it 44 days or 44 years sober! The most important thing is to keep working through the steps and keep up that daily maintenance of Prayer and meditation. As long as I stay spiritually fit, I have found I can get through any problem life throws at me and not have to take a drink. And I have decided that this is one of those "the true meaning of Christmas" years. :D There's a peace with that kind of Christmas that no amount of gifts could provide! So glad to hear from you! :wink:
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Thanks for the response

Postby JudyJersey » Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:51 am

Thanks for the response - I come on here for the inspiration from others like you.
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Postby Dallas » Wed Dec 15, 2010 1:40 pm

I understand. :wink:

One year for Christmas -- I gave out I.O.U.'s with a Christmas note, that said, "Hopefully, we'll be able to celebrate another Christmas in February or July, and I'll be able to get you some presents then. We can even put up a tree -- wrap some gifts and have a fun Christmas party! I love you with all my heart -- and I wish I could do and give you more right now -- but, me, is all I've got today." I had to do that. I was basically living out of my car, changing clothes in a storage shed, and taking showers for quarters at a nearby camp ground. And, I stayed sober! :lol:

Reality is a myth. It's a personal story that we tell ourselves -- and, when enough others agree on the story -- we call it Reality.

We celebrate Christmas on Dec. 25th -- not because Christ was actually born that day -- but, simply because He was born. There have been many times in my life -- when other people's reality didn't line up very well with my financial or emotional well-being. :lol: So, rather than opt in to the Personal Myth's & Stories -- that "they" were telling themselves -- I had to think about my own Personal Story. My myth. My reality -- regardless if they agreed with me or not. :wink:

Trying to make other people happy and solve all their problems isn't an easy job. Most of the time -- it really sucks. And, it always produces hundreds of reasons for a drink! :lol:

Did you know, that Good Times, can suck, too? :lol: I was able to weather the problems -- sober -- but, one time, back in the beginning of my sober adventure -- Life got so Good -- I celebrated it! And, had to start sobriety all over again! Yep. I was coming up on six months -- and I celebrated the six-month chip, two-weeks too early! :lol:

Dallas
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Whew

Postby JudyJersey » Wed Dec 15, 2010 1:46 pm

Dallas wrote:I understand. :wink:

One year for Christmas -- I gave out I.O.U.'s with a Christmas note, that said, "Hopefully, we'll be able to celebrate another Christmas in February or July, and I'll be able to get you some presents then. We can even put up a tree -- wrap some gifts and have a fun Christmas party! I love you with all my heart -- and I wish I could do and give you more right now -- but, me, is all I've got today." I had to do that. I was basically living out of my car, changing clothes in a storage shed, and taking showers for quarters at a nearby camp ground. And, I stayed sober! :lol:

Reality is a myth. It's a personal story that we tell ourselves -- and, when enough others agree on the story -- we call it Reality.

We celebrate Christmas on Dec. 25th -- not because Christ was actually born that day -- but, simply because He was born. There have been many times in my life -- when other people's reality didn't line up very well with my financial or emotional well-being. :lol: So, rather than opt in to the Personal Myth's & Stories -- that "they" were telling themselves -- I had to think about my own Personal Story. My myth. My reality -- regardless if they agreed with me or not. :wink:

Trying to make other people happy and solve all their problems isn't an easy job. Most of the time -- it really sucks. And, it always produces hundreds of reasons for a drink! :lol:

Did you know, that Good Times, can suck, too? :lol: I was able to weather the problems -- sober -- but, one time, back in the beginning of my sober adventure -- Life got so Good -- I celebrated it! And, had to start sobriety all over again! Yep. I was coming up on six months -- and I celebrated the six-month chip, two-weeks too early! :lol:

Dallas


Dallas you always have the words to make people listen up and search their soles - i know it does that to me. this is not easy but life is not easy.
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Postby Dallas » Wed Dec 15, 2010 2:04 pm

The greatest, most valuable, and most important gift -- that you'll EVER be able to give to others, to yourself, and to God is -- your sobriety. :wink:

Life does sometimes require us to carry and to get up on a cross -- but as long as some guy doesn't show up with a huge hammer & some nails, telling us "Now -- be a good boy, (or good girl) -- and open your hands so I can nail you to it!" -- we can get through it. :wink:

I discovered that nearly all the crosses I was having to bare in Life -- had not been given to me by Life -- they were crosses of my own choosing.

And, just because someone else has a cross they are carrying -- doesn't mean I have to climb up on it -- even if it would make them feel better!

Whenever it seems like Life is overwhelming to me, I discover that I'm thinking mostly of what I don't have -- that could fix it. And, reality is: most problems, even if I had what I thought would fix it -- wouldn't really fix it.

So, I start making myself a list of The Good Things that I have. My sobriety is always at the top and the first thing on the list. Sometimes, the next thing is simply a cup of coffee. And, a cup to put the coffee in. And, a mouth -- without stitches -- to drink it with. :lol:

After I get my list done -- I always discover that I do have more good things that I have bad things -- I just wasn't thinking about them.

Dallas
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Postby merckx » Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:28 am

I can only speak for myself on this one ...

The kind of drunk that I was, if I had children and lived with me while I was drinking, me sober would be the best gift they ever got. I liked to think I was a good son, a good uncle, a good brother, and a good husband ... but I was none of those things when I drank and used. Now I am a good son to my parents, a good uncle to my nephews, and a good brother to my siblings, and according to my wife I am doing pretty good as a husband too.

You could ask anyone of those people would they rather have a gift or me sober ... and they would pick me sober.

A side note to that is in the past (and sometimes today) I was an incredibly selfish person (I am sure that comes as a surprise). Now I am far less selfish and the end result of that is people get better gifts now :D

Yesterday was 44 days and God willing today is going to find you at 45 days. Keep it up!
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Postby JudyJersey » Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:21 am

merckx wrote:I can only speak for myself on this one ...

The kind of drunk that I was, if I had children and lived with me while I was drinking, me sober would be the best gift they ever got. I liked to think I was a good son, a good uncle, a good brother, and a good husband ... but I was none of those things when I drank and used. Now I am a good son to my parents, a good uncle to my nephews, and a good brother to my siblings, and according to my wife I am doing pretty good as a husband too.

You could ask anyone of those people would they rather have a gift or me sober ... and they would pick me sober.

A side note to that is in the past (and sometimes today) I was an incredibly selfish person (I am sure that comes as a surprise). Now I am far less selfish and the end result of that is people get better gifts now :D

Yesterday was 44 days and God willing today is going to find you at 45 days. Keep it up!


You are so on it with this. Wow I was thinking today that I am becoming the Mom the boys use to know before the booze. I am 46 days sober today and I am thinking better - I do have bad days (loneliness) but as I am learning I had that when I was drinking to. I left a boyfriend that will not clean up his act and still is using drugs, I can not have that pull my sobriety down. I am enjoying not drinking and going to my meetings.

Keep up the great work I will be looking for more posts from you...
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Postby Dallas » Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:44 am

When I was a child -- I thought and acted like a child.
When I grew up -- I was still acting like a child for much of the time.
When I first got sober -- it was like being born again as a child in sobriety.

I had to learn to walk sober. Live sober. Play sober. And, think sober.

It took time -- actually, for me -- a lot of time! :lol:

Imagine taking a baby in a stroller to a marathon race. Tip the buggy over and dump the baby out and tell it to "get in there and run your butt off! You can win this race! Now, go get 'em!" :lol:

I kept doing that to myself. Demanding that I face head-on serious issues and complicated tasks -- just like a mature, fully grown, sober adult might do. Yet, I was only a baby in sobriety.

What would happen was: I would miserably fail at the task in front of me. Heck -- I could hardly talk without stuttering when I was new in AA and sober! I now think that maybe my newly sober mind was stuttering! Trying to put together the next sober thought!

It's a common misconception for the alcoholic, for the family & friends of an alcoholic to think "Well, dang, they are sober now -- they should be able to perform better!" When, the facts are: it takes us time to get up to speed in normal everyday living -- sober. Balancing a check-book sober for me was like trying to do rocket science! :lol:

I had to learn to cut myself some slack. To be less demanding on myself that I rush in and be all perfect and efficient -- just because I was now sober.

I think this is where the AA slogans came from, such as: "Relax and take it easy." And, "Easy Does It."

If you're anything like an alkie of my type -- you can get in a trap of demanding too much of yourself -- too soon -- and that makes for a miserable existence.

Love yourself enough to be kind and gentle to yourself. I had to learn to treat myself with the same kind of thoughtfulness, kindness, gentleness and patience -- that I would show to a stranger -- much less to a friend!

I had to learn to be a true friend to myself -- and not take life and everything in life so seriously.

Efficiency and doing more complicated tasks -- sober -- later became a reality for me. Had I continued to beat up on myself and be so demanding on myself in the beginning -- I'm sure I wouldn't be here today to write this! :wink:

Congrats on all those sober days! That's a huge accomplishment!!! Be sure to take the time to find some sweet roses in your life -- and sniff them! Enjoy them! Thing about what an incredible and amazing deal that it is -- that you can sniff them sober!!! :wink:

Best wishes for the day!

Dallas
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