- New Years resolutions

New Years resolutions




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

New Years resolutions

Postby PeaceJoy » Tue Dec 28, 2010 1:31 pm

Does anyone here still make resolutions? I haven't made any in several years but I think this year I will. Besides staying sober........what are your resolutions?
I want to continue journaling.
I want to declutter and get rid of my excess stuff.
I want to get my finances under control (right after I get a job).

PeaceJoy~
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Postby Tami4497 » Wed Dec 29, 2010 4:14 am

Hi PeaceJoy-My name is Tami. I just joined the forum so I hope I post this correctly. I was asked about new years resolutions earlier today, so I thought I would reply to your post on the subject.

I used to make resolutions every year before sobriety but I'd never remember keeping any of them. Resolutions to quit drinking, smoking, using cuss words, ETC… ETC. And many resolutions to start doing things there were good for me, to no avail. The only thing I ever got out of a resolution was frustration. So for me making resolutions is setting myself up for failure. Creating expectations for myself that may just let me down is probably not very wise. Of course, that's just my opinion for myself.

On the other hand, it's not a bad thing to set goals to strive for in order to continue to grow. So perhaps if I looked at it in that light, I can see where resolutions might work to attain those goals. We're told to live one day at a time and I agree with that, but that does not mean to live like we have no responsibilities. So I guess with all that said, resolutions could be very useful in pushing us towards growth in many areas. But I like to keep in mind that without God's help none of my resolutions will come to pass, so I'd ask Him first for guidance and then for the help to do His will.
Happy New Year
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Postby PeaceJoy » Wed Dec 29, 2010 11:42 am

Good things to think about Tami. Thanks for the input. I guess I'm just looking at a new sober year and want to set some goals. Journaling is one of them.

Peacejoy~
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Postby sunlight » Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:07 pm

Hi PeaceJoy and thank you for helping me see that your 3 resolutions are things that I have accomplished this year.

I have kept a journal since I was 13 (so that's about 100 years now! :lol: ) It's all on paper: my first love, first heartbreak, first drink, last drink, the insanity of early sobriety... It is so awesome to write and see things emerge that I didn't even know were inside me! I get to see how I've grown and where I'm still a slacker. I can't say enough good things about journaling! Just be sure to keep your journal in a safe place!

Cleaned out 30 years of rat- packing from my attic, had a yard sale & donated the rest to the veteran's association.
My house is the epitome of simplicity! In fact, it was too stark and I had to add a bit of fluff for hominess! 8)

Finances are under control.

This year's resolution is to be taking meetings into the jail. I've wanted to do this for a long time & in January I will start.
My sponsor died suddenly in July and it was a heart-wrenching loss. I got together with one of her other sponsees and we tried to figure out what we could do to honor her memory and pass on more fully what she had given us. Remembering that she did jail meetings, this is what we came up with & I'm excited! I've been warned not to get my expectations up, but who knows? There may be someone like me who thinks this may be her last chance to get sober.

Happy new year!

There are 1001 ways to celebrate sober! How about sharing one of yours? :wink:
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Postby Tami4497 » Thu Dec 30, 2010 1:12 pm

sunlight--if we combined out accomplishments, we'd be right on! I take meetings into jails, and I love it. However, I've never been able to stick to journaling and I'm in desperate need of cleaning out the clutter. Good for you. I think I will make a resolution now...and those will be on the top of my list. Thank you both for the inspiration! Tami
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Postby GeoffS » Thu Dec 30, 2010 10:14 pm

Celebrating being sober today started for me when I woke up.

I got to to do these things.

Talk to my HP before I even got out of bed. Then again when i was up.

Talked to my sponsor, and talked to my sponsees.

Had breakfast with my girl and her niece. Laughed about what we had been laughing about the night before. Drove across town and returned a library book for a friend. Laughed because the library was shut.

Did my washing, had a visit from my daughter and listened to her teenage troubles. Took her home. And her friend's dog! Drove around a while to get the dog smell out the car!!!

Tidied my kitchen, went to the supermarket.

This evening I get to go and spend New Years Eve with a couple of hundred sober alcoholics at the New year Dance. Dressed as a refugee from the 1970s!!

Beats the hell out of sitting alone on the couch with a couple of bottles of vodka.

And the best part is i get to do a lot of it again tomorrow, and celebrate life and living it all over again!!!
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Postby Dallas » Sun Jan 02, 2011 4:44 am

Try this one:

"Our first objective will be the development of self restraint. This carries a top priority rating. When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot." ~Bill W. on Step 10, 12&12.

A resolution to get busy & stay busy w/ the development of self restraint!

Think about it -- how many problems in your life could have been prevented, or would have been much easier to solve -- had you used self restraint? Most of mine would qualify!
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Postby junebug » Mon Jan 03, 2011 7:45 am

I'm a bit shy about making resolutions-I was always doing that when I drank. Now I am more realistic. For sure one is that I WILL make sure when I travel I have my meetings already planned. It was a bit of a mess going on vacation without a real plan before I left. "hitting a meeting somewhere" isn't good enough.
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Postby Dallas » Mon Jan 03, 2011 8:46 pm

In AA, to learn to live sober and stay sober, I learned the difference between a resolution and a commitment.

A commitment means do-ing what I said I would do. Showing up where I said I'd show up. The actual "go-ing to any lengths" to go and to do -- without excuses.

I learned it incrementally. It started with not taking the next drink. By going to a meeting that I said I would go to. By getting there early. Helping to set up. Becoming a coffee person. A greeter. The cookie & cake person. The clean-up guy. Finally, earning the confidence of the group, that I could be responsible enough to be the group secretary and treasurer.

All that sounded kind of dumb when I was newly sober, in my Grand Delusions about myself! Didn't they know -- how many high powered jobs that I had, had? How many of my own businesses that I had started and managed and operated? Yada yada yada? After the fog cleared for me, it was "They knew how many times I had failed! How many jobs that I had failed. How many businesses that I started that I failed to manage and operate!

I remember my first sponsor giving me a little assignment. He said "I want you to make a list of all the times you've failed." -- Me: "I don't think about my failures, haven't had that many, and I only remember my successes! That's healthy thinking for me! LOL.

He said, "Oh? You never failed to remember to take your trash to the curb?" Well, that's different sponsor! LOL.

He said... "Start w/ a list of the little tiny things that you failed at". And, I did! My list grew and grew and grew and grew! It helped me to crack my delusion of "just how well -- I thought" I was managing my life! LOL.

Dang, that sure was a smash to my Ego! And, then -- I was able to start to do little incremental things -- like make a commitment -- to take the trash to the curb, and eventually be able to develop enough self-restraint & self-discipline to actually be able to get the job done!

Dallas
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resolutions

Postby junebug » Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:22 pm

Thanks Dallas. I really like the perspective of looking at resolutions vs. committments. My sponsor really helped by telling me a bunch of vacation pointers that I will use next time. One is that making a morning meeting is good in that you can be out and back before many folks are even up. That way when there are plans, and they usually happen at night, you don't feel as tho you are breaking up the group etc.....I know I don't want to go 6 days without a meeting again! :twisted:
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