- Introductions this forum is All About You!

Introductions this forum is All About You!

Introduce yourself or read introductions from others!

Postby sunlight » Thu Dec 30, 2010 3:01 pm

Welcome Alicia! :D

Ten days sober is a wonderful place to be! How does it feel? How are the mountain meetings? Tell us more, please.

Happy new year. Happy you near. :wink:
Posts: 597
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:03 pm
Location: Denver Co

Postby Dallas » Thu Dec 30, 2010 3:29 pm

Welcome to the site Alicia!!! Great to have you here. I notice you're from Colorado and I've heard they have some pretty good AA up there!

Thanks for sharing, for participating and introducing yourself!

Site Admin
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Toddy » Thu Dec 30, 2010 5:37 pm

My first AA meeting, a handshake and a hug, saved my life,what a powerful memory
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 7:36 am
Location: Pennsylvania


Postby nick » Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:49 pm

Oh hello there cyper sobriety world! I just found this site because my sponsor sent me here to print out stuff on the fourth step. So allow me to introduce myself. My name is Nick, i just moved to LA, i have a little over 9months of sobriety. I did 3 months at Betty Ford, 3 months of sober living, i got a sponsor, began working the steps and then whammo i got a job in LA and just moved here. I still speak with my sponsor frequently on the phone but she is encouraging me to get a sponsor here in LA so that i can continue working on the steps. Since i moved here i have basically come to a stand still with my step work. I am starting to feel it. Isn't that strange. So i reached out to my sponsor today and she told me that i have one month to find a new sponsor and that i need to start taking action on my fourth step. I really don't want a new sponsor. I feel like i am throwing a temper tantrum, but she insists that her and i will continue to maintain our current relationship, but i need someone close by to take me through the steps. So i told her that i am willing to look. I told her that i keep sitting in the meetings judging women that could be a potential sponsor, "to old", "not enough time", "to much time", "to easy going", "to tough", etc., etc. etc. She told me to visualize exactly what i want in a sponsor, imagine every detail so that i will know it when i see it. I think i will try it! So anyhow.... That's enough out of me. Thanks for letting me share!
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:36 pm
Location: LA

Postby sunlight » Tue Jan 04, 2011 10:38 pm

Hi Nick, welcome to our family! :D

Can't post long tonight but I just need to say "Get visualizing!"

If you are an alcoholic and you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, there is NOTHING more important than taking these steps. The longer you wait, the farther away you get from the gift of desperation and it may not be long before you decide you don't need to take the steps or that you're cured! :lol:

I've had 4 sponsors, because I wanted to take the steps regarding other issues in my life. I felt drawn to each woman, but didn't waste time over-analyzing them. Without fail, the results were beyond words! I don't think it's the sponsor as much as it is the steps and the willingness that brings about the transformation.

Later, after you've taken all 12 steps, you can look for a sponsor who's more of a friend.

Right now.... GET BUSY!!!!!!! :wink:
Posts: 597
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:03 pm
Location: Denver Co

Postby Dallas » Wed Jan 05, 2011 2:44 pm

Welcome to the site Nick! I got sober in LA. :wink: Best AA in the world there! If you need some help hooking up w/ some AA's there -- let me know and I'll offer a few connections, if you'd like.

Site Admin
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby cue » Sat Mar 26, 2011 6:29 pm

I gave up Fb for Lent but I stumbled in here looking for experiences on traditions and feel right at home already. I got sober in Ireland in 98 and became a service geek (just got back from a PI Workshop today, where a guy told me that he does not agree with what my home group does, but he does respect our right to do it. Where else would you get that enlightened attitude?).
Thanks for being here for me. :D
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 6:28 pm
Location: Ireland

Postby Dallas » Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:27 am

Welcome to the site Cue! Thanks for sharing.
Yep. Sometimes, AA's can be rather entertaining, aye? :lol:

Glad you're here.

Site Admin
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Introducing myself...and my dilemna

Postby BrandyeW » Sat Apr 16, 2011 5:22 am

Hi all! My name is Brandye and I'm an alcoholic. My sobriety date is 07-15-09. I live in Texas, am married to a wonderful man, have 3 grown children, and 3 grandchildren. I discovered this site while trolling the internet for what a sponsor should or shouldn't be. Who knows why I thought the internet would be a good place to look...but it led me to this site, so I guess it all worked out! I am one of the very fortunate alcoholics would didn't have to lose everything to have a desire to stop drinking. I suppose I, thankfully, have a low pain threshold as far a alcoholism goes. This is my first time around in AA, although I tried to quit "on my own" many, many times - and occasionally stayed dry for several years at all time. Dry is the key word. Even though I was not drinking, drinking was all I ever thought about or talked about. I was emotionally bereft. The past year and nine months have been nothing short of wonderful. Up until earlier this week, I had a wonderful sponsor. We had a mis-communication about when we'd meet to do our 5th step (second time through the steps). She felt like I stood her up, which I have never done, and was rightly peeved about it. I typically go to a meeting once a week, meet with her once a week, and pray, and read literature (usually) daily. I do not call her daily, but do when I have a thought or question for her. Now that I've made a short story very long - we parted ways in the worst of ways. She thinks I don't take my alcoholism seriously, don't go to enough meetings, and all of a sudden am not calling her enough. I got very offended. She said she thought I might need to "do it my way", but I honestly have no idea what that means, but nonetheless, I responded with a resounding "OKAY! I'll do that!", and left in a huff. I'm simply heartbroken about our parting ways and looked to this site for some guidance/answers. I know my sick brain is mighty capable of playing tricks on me...but I feel like I lead a very full and balanced life for the most part (because I work too much). How many meetings a week are the right number? Isn't it different for everyone? Am I sabotaging myself? Good grief...I sound like a basket-case! :)
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:02 am
Location: Keller, TX

Postby Dallas » Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:18 am

Hello BrandyeW, Welcome to the site! It you don't get too many other welcomes... it could be... because your post is in "the announcements" part... and most alcoholics do not read the announcements part of anything. :lol: :lol: The just seem to figure announcements are for others and not for them. :lol: Just sayin' for just in case. :wink:

Believe it or not... I UNDERSTAND what you're going through.

First of all... a disclaimer, I don't know you and I don't know your sponsor. So, hopefully, whatever I write I hope will come as "an objective reply from someone who's not familiar with the personal situation."

I'm a real head-strong kind of person. I like doing things MY WAY. I left home when I was 13 yrs old and never went back. I raised myself, supported myself, and everything I ever got -- I got it myself. Good or bad. My first sponsor referred to me as "Self Made" and I took it as a compliment... until I realized that not only was it a compliment -- it was a serious liability for me to be able to recover.

The reason I became "self-made" was because... I was unable to find or utilize "positive examples" that had solutions that really worked -- towards solving life problems. So, I came up with my own unique designs for living & methods to solving problems -- and for the most part -- they produced very successful results. They also produced some problems, but I had felt that the successes always were greater than the problems that they produced.

My life ended up in the crapper. :lol: And, despite my best ideas, methods and efforts... I couldn't get it out of the crapper.... and I thought... that the reason was "I couldn't stay sober."

So, eventually... I discovered AA, and after a failed attempt, I was eventually able to make it back, and try to do it differently. I took the Steps. Got real active in AA. And, my life was working pretty good. The results were good. And, I was still kind of "directing my own show."

At about 7 1/2 yrs sober... I moved from my AA nest to a different geo-location. My serenity went to hell in a hand-basket. I was on my own and things were not working out.

I called a man that I knew in AA -- from Los Angeles -- where I got sober, and I asked him to be my sponsor. I knew what the requirements would be to ask him. If I were going to ask him -- I would have to put the brakes on doing things "my way." And, I would have to accept his judgement for me and my life, and his directions for me -- over my own.

Under normal circumstances... I would NEVER have allowed myself to do this. However, I was faced with some very un-normal circumstances and I knew that I WOULD NOT be able to maintain my sobriety or sanity -- doing as I had been doing. And, I knew... that this particular AA, was the only AA that I had ever met -- that I knew, from examining the results of other AA's lives (that he sponsored) would be able to help me.

So, I put up the white flag of surrender. Asked him to be my sponsor. And, made a personal commitment that -- even if I disagreed with what he said -- I would do it anyway. Over the next few following years, it seemed like when I did things his way -- they always worked out great. When I'd slip into my way -- I'd end up in big time trouble.

And, again... I was moving along pretty good, with a mix of his ways and secretly when i could... my way, too! :lol:

At 10 years sober -- I literally blew a head gasket! I was sober. From the outside looking in -- I would have appeared to be very successful. And, I went nuts. To the point of... a psychiatrist wanted to admit me to a psych hospital and put me on some heavy meds!

Ut-oh! What happened to me? Did AA stop working for me? Did the Steps & all the literature that I read and studied, and the Big Book, stop working for me?

Well... evidently, it did... because at 10 years sober I was facing a psych hospital! And, my sponsor told me -- when I called to tell him about it -- that I needed to find another sponsor -- because he did not have experience sponsoring people on medication like the psych wanted to put me on -- and he was not going to give me med advice. :shock:

I was terrified! Now I was facing a psych hospital admittance and I'd have to find a new sponsor -- and, I already knew, that if HE could not sponsor me -- there was not another soul in all of AA that would be qualified to help me stay sober.

What I did was: not take the psych and med advice but made a decision to take my sponsors direction instead. I followed his directions precisely. I stopped doing Life my way. I got back into the Big Book and studied it more fervently than ever had done before -- and I began taking every single suggestion in the Big Book literally -- just as if it had been written precisely for ME.

What happened? I straightened out. I got better. And, my life today is better than anything I could ever imagine for myself. I no longer have the mood swings and depressions that were crippling me -- and no, I'm not on drugs. :lol:

I learned what it would end up for me to "do it my way." And, I came to understand the meaning of "I guess you need to do it your way." And, I learned that the worse thing I could do for me was to ever get mad at my sponsor. :lol:

Unfortunately... my reply was not a short quick one. The only thing I could do here was to share "this is what it was like for me, what happened to me, and what I' like today" and hope that you'll get something out of it.... and if you don't... that's okay too... because I know that you showing up here with your concern -- for me -- was to help me. And, hopefully, my experience will in someway be of help to you or someone else, too.

Best wishes for you!

Dallas B.
Site Admin
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA


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