Profanity in A.A. Meetings

[Tami4497]

I'm amazed at the gifts we're given in this program. Especially the gifts we're given that we never thought to ask God for....like the gift of a new vocabulary.
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Here's a story that a friend sent to me tonight, along with my response back to him...

My sponsor did me great one night, but he did it in a way that was not at all offensive, we had just left a meeting in a prison and as I told my story I let the expletives fly ( cussing up a storm). He mildly inquired about it- "You don't usually say the "F" word so much Steve" I felt a little threatened ( thin skinned) so I started trying to justify it. I sad that my language was probably no more offensive than stuff they hear all the time inside. "True, true" he said. " Do you think it is possible to offend someone without using profanity"? "Of course not" I said. "So, by not using so much profanity you can maybe reach more alcoholics"? "Yup" I replied.
"What was our purpose here tonight"? he said
I was quiet the whole ride home...
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My response to his story...

I came across an old home movie of Christmas morning awhile back...my two grown children were little in the video...my 2 younger children that are 9 and 7 today sat down to watch it with me. To my horror, everytime I opened my mouth in the video, I use profanity. My little girls had their jaws on the floor. I had to shut it off. That was such an awakening to me. My little girls think 'stupid' is a bad word! They'd never heard me cuss like that before. wow. Thank God He changes us even in the areas we never asked to be changed in!

I just thought this was worth sharing. I'm truely grateful for the many wonderful gifts that come through recovery...most of which we don't even ask for! Tami F.

[Dallas]

Thanks for sharing it! Profanity in meetings is something that makes my skin crawl. I'm no Saint -- I just love AA, and I have a lot of respect for it. I feel as though it's God's house -- and not mine or anyone elses. My life was saved there. I was reborn and given a new life there. And, I learned that when it comes to conducting myself in a meeting -- that I shouldn't do what I wouldn't do in a church or on a job interview.

Your sharing has helped me today! And, I know that I'll be able to use it in my own growth and in helping others!

Dallas

[PeaceJoy]

If going to an AA meeting was like going to church a lot of us would never go in. I don't think that constant use of profanity is necessary in a meeting but sometimes when someone is about to go off the rails, the last thing they're thinking about is using polite church manners.

Peacejoy~

[ccs]

is that kinda like sayin you can take the girl out of the gutter but you cant take the gutter out of the girl ???? sobriety and change you cant do the first unless your willing to do the other

I am not 4 profanity either in or out of the rooms but there is a little line in the promises its one of my fav`s "sometimes quickly sometimes slooooowly"

the way I talk has changed ALOT since I first came around but if I`m being honest when I get really upset as I still do sometimes that F-bomb just flys right out it shocks me even more so is it really shocks the people that never knew me way back then they just cant believe what they`ve just heard

I`m so glad that I `m not perfect or I never would have known how much I need a SAVIOR ( I cant even begin to fathom how much it hurts HIM JESUS my Savior) when I talk like that and he loves me still

GOD BLESS Luv-2-all Cess

[Toddy]

Profanity for me is an exclamation point. if I use it it gets attention, people that know me know im hurting if i let something fly., I follow the church / grandparent rule and as best as I can remember never let one fly in church. I tolerate the slip of the tongue, but abusers I turn off .

Toddy

[Toast]

A sign on the wall at one of our local meetings say,

' The Continuous Use Of Profanity Shows An Unwillingness To Change'.

Have a good weekend!

[junebug]

Thanks toast. and everyone else for sharing. Someone said this: (was it Oprah???? LOL) "when you know better you DO better! " I like that a lot.

[DawgoneAl]

I like to say one shows there intelligence if they use profanity !!!!

[Dallas]

What comes out of the mouth of the individual -- tells me what's on the inside of them. Like you wrote -- it doesn't take too many brain cells of intelligence to use profanity. It definitely also shows a sign of "Lazy Brain Syndrome" -- where someone doesn't care enough about their self to learn some new words for their vocabulary.

[Michael]

I'm curious. How do you address it when it seems to snowball during a meeting. Sadly, one of my most helpful meetings has turned into just such an avalanche of foul-mouthed oneupsmanship. A few folks that refer to themselves as "dignitaries" have taken over the meeting and have dealt a hard blow to the spirituality that was the essence of group. Boorish, rude and militaristic, without regard to the gender mixed in attendance, they bully the meeting. It seems time to find another meeting to replace it. I've mixed feelings about giving up on this meeting and am getting comments like "get over it", "toughen up", "grow up", etc. But I'm tired of the language and from exiting the meeting more frustrated and empty than when I entered. My sponsor has decided to stay but is far better than I at tuning it out. It's one of the few things to which we agree to disagree. Is this one of those "is it me" things I need evaluate. I value my sobriety but I feel that I'd be going backwards to stay.