Laughing at myself on this one.
I used to get these cravings at the oddest times.
Stress doesn't help and old habits dont either.
When I drove by the local liquor store I would get the Crave.
I would think to myself "What The???!!!".
I even got to a point that I started avoiding any route that would take me by it.
But aft6er a few years those things sort of went away.
Even the smell of alcohol is very repugnant to me now.
Retrained my mind I would venture to say I guess.
Now as I drive by or go to a store nearby I just look at the LS and wonder why I used to have the Crave. And how many of those patrons in there are just like me but just cant escape the shackles.
An experience I would like to tell you all about happened recently.
Come February 15 I will have my eight year birthday.
A couple weeks ago I went into a store nearby that has a Liquor store in it. (It is on a Military base)
I had been in there many times since I got sober but always avoided the booze and beer section.
(It is isolated from the rest of the store)
But this time I went into it for a reason.
Now don't be shocked...
It is used as a cleaner for my tobacco pipes.
But you know when I walked into that area I felt embarrassed, and sort of like I was kid that was going to shoplift something.
Guilt, fear, the whole gambit of emotions ran through me.
I even felt like everyone in the store was whispering "Look Rich is in the Booze section!!!".
And then to make things worse I couldn't find it.
When the employee asked me if they could help me find something I about passed out from the blood rushing to my head.
I must have been Red as ya get.
Needless to say I got my cleaner and left the store.
I thought to myself after I left; WOW!!!
Even after almost eight years this can kick my arse...
I guess now it is kicking my behind in a different way.
A good way I suppose with all the guilt and all.
So hang in there.
Things are a changin.
Give it time and it is worth more than anything to you and those around you.
Perhaps one day you can almost pass out in the liquor store too.
And then laugh at yourself.