- Krystal Alcoholic

Krystal Alcoholic




Introduce yourself or read introductions from others!

Postby Bensober » Sun Jan 16, 2011 12:06 pm

Welcome aboard Krystal, Hum… now that I don’t live in the dangerous dungeons with the demons and the smoke anymore, I never though about what it would be like to be in AA Mtg. in those circumstances and/or wonder or not if a bomb would go off. Your gonna find us a great group of people.

I find “this meetingâ€
Bensober
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 8:07 am
Location: Fresno Ca.

Postby sparklek » Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:49 pm

Hi all. Luckily I can report that things seems to be dying down poltically.

On the other hand, I find myself getting what I prayed for--new opportunities for service. I had a coworker reach out about a major hashish (weed) problem and felt compelled to share. She was open and listened attentively. Not sure where it will go if anywhere at all. Just a seed.

Also, after attending a couple meetings I finally had a chance to meet with the young woman that really got me started in meetings here and she is experiencing that strong feeling of differentness I suppose we all get at some point. The thing is, in this situation of older male expats and few women, especially young, she is unique to some degree. I think I am the first member of her same age and interest level in AA that she has encountered. Even reaching out is difficult here as there really are few women.

As I went on and on catching her up on the excitement of such a variety of meetings and events in the US when I was home, she expressed the "now what" feeling she has of being here and feeling isolated to some degree as a young, nearly three year sober woman. She can not even seem to find dating comfortable as sobriety is totally foriegn here, espeially to young people. Again, she finds herself in slippery places with slippery people. Oh, how I related. We just talk and share such identical stories.

I suppose I feel powerless over her situation, only saying that "more will be revealed." In a place with no Alano club to run to a dance and mingle amongst others like myself, new sobriety would have presented a different challenge.

I remember being in my home group of mostly older men when that uniqueness creeped in. I was able to have the beautiful experience of going to a convention that same weekend and seeing sober teens! What an eye opener about this disease.

The point is, I found a comfort zone. I pray that she can find that, too. I am powerless and praying for her. I am grateful I got to meet this courage woman.
sparklek
 
Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:20 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Postby Bensober » Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:54 am

Hi Krystal! Good touching base with you. Yes such a interesting delima for your friend. In one of the meetings I attend there is some really young people. One in particular has connected to the spiritual aspects through his engagement of the Steps. The others seem to be getting there but he has set a presidence for all of us. His “energyâ€
Bensober
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 8:07 am
Location: Fresno Ca.

Postby sparklek » Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:46 am

Thanks Ben. That was a great reminder for me. I remember when I never fit and it had NOTHING to do with race, age, etc. It was inside of me. That Lonliness. Now, I rarely feel that and I believe that is a direct result of the Steps and a Higher Power connection.

Even travelling abroad, being unique in many outside senses at my job as well, and in the rooms, no matter where I am, I finally feel like I fit. Not sure when that happened because, like my friend, it took time. I know that if she keeps applying these steps in her life and coming back, the miracle will happen. It's strange how we change without notice around here.

She has a sponsor and is very involved in service. She, like myself at some points, wonders if this whole thing is really going to keep working. She only has a few examples here of long term soberiety. I tear up thinking of her courage to blaze this trail but I also know it is because she, like myself, wants to stay sober.

After a while I stopped questioning why it worked and started just doing it. When I live in that simplicity, it works and I have peace.
sparklek
 
Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:20 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Postby sparklek » Wed Jan 26, 2011 8:06 am

Krystal, alcoholic. Where as it seemed things had slowed down, things are rapidly begin to unfold politially and only God knows where it will end. Today, after a second day of rioting in Cairo, our school closed to hours early to gaurentee a safe return to the children. As I stood and watched each report, small and large through the last month, fear begining to settle in. I am prayful and asking for God's guidance. As an alcoholic, I feel blessed to know that God is here and knows all and sees all.
sparklek
 
Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:20 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Postby Dallas » Wed Jan 26, 2011 10:59 am

I certainly don't want to cast any doubt on faith -- but, I often have to remind myself that God gave me brains to use. I've seen bits & pieces of the rioting on TV... and about all I'll say is... Be sure to take cover! :wink:

How long do you have to be there? Do you feel relatively safe? Have you talk to any professionals -- like maybe in the State Department, to see what they suggest?

Dang lil' Krystal... I just got attached to you! I want to be sure you keep coming back... without bruises!

Wishing you the very best of the best...........

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
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Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby sparklek » Wed Jan 26, 2011 11:39 am

I am feeling relatively safe considering I do not live close to the area where the trouble is taking plae. My contract is for 5 months and my job, and everyone around me for that matter, is pretty calm about the situation. Viewing it as just another protest. I am staying current on all reports from the state dept as well as world and local news. It is one of those matters that is sort of watch and wait. There is really no way to know how serious or not this may be.

I am just watching and waiting. Not sure where that line is between my mind blowing something out proportion and when to know real danger so I am just watching and waiting. :|
sparklek
 
Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:20 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Postby Bensober » Thu Jan 27, 2011 8:56 am

That’s interesting Krystal. What is all the “getting riotail’ed upâ€
Bensober
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 8:07 am
Location: Fresno Ca.

Postby Bensober » Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:03 am

Yes and being on both sides of this post with Dallas and you in the middle, we need you unharmed and keep coming back. You have my permission/reminder (not that you need it) to get the heck out if you need to or can.

Ben H.
Bensober
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 8:07 am
Location: Fresno Ca.

Postby sparklek » Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:12 am

Well. The people have a right to their feelings and to stand up for a MUCH needed change. I will leave it at that but CNN, BBC and Yahoo News have some pretty throrough reports about the specifics. I fully understand the need for change and overall, so far, the people are protesting peacefully. Unfortunately, governments never respond so peacefully and thus, things just kind of blow up.

For me, fear has always been a big issue and in sobriety I have always had to get "into the work" so get out of it. At this moment, I feel safe and loved by both the people in my life and God.

I am working to not get sucked into others fears as the reports in the US are causing some of my friends and family to worry. My job, the US embassay and the State Department are all saying there is no reason for alarm at this point. There is an even bigger protest planned for Friday and I am still in the watching and waiting phase.

In the meantime, I have lots of personal work to focus upon. I am staying in today and realizing I have no control over anyone's actions but my own. If things get volatile, I will be on a plane home. Until then, I am trying not to make any sudden actions based on fear.

Hell, what esle can I do? Leaving would mean breaking a contract over a situation that could blow over.

I am glad I have a program. I am watching coworkers mostly in a stage of denial that I know VERY well. I am not there. I am aware today.

There is still yet reason for me to be grateful:
1. I am not drinking.
2. I am not obsessing over drinking
3. I have family and friends that are in my life and give a damn about what happens to me.
4. I get to be aware and make choices for myself.
5. God is my only source.

I will keep you all posted as situations unfold.
sparklek
 
Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:20 pm
Location: Los Angeles

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