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Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

sponsors

Postby Bobby D » Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:15 am

Very good points toast...

when I finally got sober.. after trying several times on my own someone finally got me to come to AA.. I managed to stay sober 8 months ....without a sponsor .. going to meetings 3 - 5 days a week.... working steps by myself... listening to the others sharing ect.. but with out that one on one honest sharing of experience ...... I convinced myself I could drink normally and a 3 day weekend turned into a 3 week drunk with all the black outs and bull@#$ that goes along with it....

I'm back on the beam 5 months now...Same home group... with a sponsor this time.... Big difference in the steps now...I dont feel like I'm guessing... I ask and get the subtle direction I need... I dont think you can effectively do this alone.. AT LEAST I COULDN'T..

God Bless

Bob
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Postby PeaceJoy » Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:29 am

Good for you Bob! I met with my sponsor yesterday. We meet once a week for step work and I have to call and check in with her daily.

Peacejoy~
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Postby Larry H. » Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:34 am

Dallas wrote:No. I don't think it is necessary to take the Steps with a sponsor. Yes, in some cases it can be easier and more thorough -- but, that would depend on the sponsor. However, everything that is needed is in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. There have been many good sponsors that had no sponsor. And, there have been some great AA's -- that did much for AA all over the world -- that had no sponsor.

I know this will tick off some Orthodox AA's. :lol: :lol: But, don't we have a prerequisite for rigorous honesty?

Dallas


I agree with you Dallas,

I think a sponsor definately makes it easier to grasp this simple program. When I opened the Big Book to chapter 5, How it Works the concepts were Greek to me.

If I wanted to for example learn the Japanese Lanquage, it would be possible to do it on my own by reading and learning from a book. However it would be much easier if I had a Japanese language instructor to help teach me.

My experience and I wan't to repeat that "MY EXPERIENCE" was that a sponsor aided my recovery and he still does. That being said I know many people that got sober and remained sober in AA never having had a sponsor.

Many paths lead to the top of the hill, but the view on the top is the same for everyone.

Larry,
------------------
"I tried controlled un manageability... it didn't work."
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Postby Dallas » Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:34 am

Great illustration w/ the Japanese & Chapter 5.

I thought: If I were learning Japanese and turned to Chapter 5, it will still be like Greek for me, which I don't know and didn't know when I got to Chapter 5.

I was making the same mistake 24 yrs ago -- that continues to get made by many -- today. And, that's by first turning to Chapter 5, to try and figure it all out -- without starting on the front cover of the Big Book.

The Big Book, refers to itself as "a basic text" book. A textbook in language would probably begin w/ teaching us the alphabet. Then, about spelling simple words, and then, nouns, verbs, adjectives, subjects and composition -- by the time it got to Chapter 5.

Every page from the front cover up to Chapter 5, makes for the foundation for figuring out what to do and why to do it -- in Chapter 5, and beyond.

Sponsor or no sponsor -- my experience has been that if the person doesn't start on the front cover and work up to Chapter 5, they may have some good and/or bad ideas about the AA 12 Steps and the program that's in the book.

I've known of many sponsors -- that had never even read all of the Big Book, let alone, start on the front cover and follow the instructions in the book.

I believe there was a Divine plan, in the writing of the Big Book, that was beyond the intelligence of any of us or any of it's authors. And, that it's a spiritual plan.

My very first AA sponsor made it clear to me that: "Your job is to find our own Higher Power -- and I'm not it." :lol: He went on to tell me, that if I started to depend upon him as my Higher Power, he'd have to dump me, because we'd both end up drunk again.

He used to also tell me, that if he asked me to do something -- that wasn't in the Big Book, or went against something in the book -- that I didn't have to do it and that I should question it.

This, for me, takes the entire responsibility of my sobriety and places it where it belongs -- on my shoulders and my actions -- and not the shoulders or actions of my sponsor.

I've known of a few sober AA's that returned to drinking -- after their sponsor relapsed. They had formed an unhealthy dependance upon their sponsor. I've known of others that relapsed -- and said that "it was AA that failed them" -- because they used something in AA as an excuse to return to drinking. They had an unhealthy dependance upon AA.

As I learned it from the Big Book -- my trust, reliance & dependance must be on God, as I understand Him. I couldn't have learned this -- without the book.

Yes. It's best to have an experienced sponsor. No. A sponsor is not necessar to succeed in recovery. Yes. Part of the program of recovery in the book is: "to become a sponsor." (As a result of following the directions in the book).

Dallas
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Postby Toast » Sun Jan 30, 2011 9:16 am

A serene sunday to one and all.

This is a good topic.

Seen many people drink and die after their sponsor passed away ' sober'. Sometimes these same sponsors were not into the Big Book and trained their sponsee's to rely on them and not a Higher Power. They never taught the sponsee to stand on there own two feet so in the end the sponsor became their higher power and when they were gone the lights went out for those left behind. :cry:

To me this smacks of codependance on the sponsors part and goes to highlight how sick some people can be even after many years of living sober. :(

Just goes to show if you dont get the right sponsor you too could die just as easily if you dont have one. :wink:
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