hello

[mimi]

Hello, my username is "mimi" and I am an alcoholic with 6 and a half months sobriety. It was the demise of my marriage that saw me hit my lowest point and got me into the halls. On my first night one man asked me for a date, and another offered me rides to and from meetings. I declined the date and accepted the offer of rides to meeting as I do not drive. The guy seemed trustworthy, and had 8 years of sobriety. It only took two weeks to devolve into a love affair. I was raw and vulnerable and I guess my ego took a sort of a boost from the attention (my ex husband had been having an affair and had left me for the other woman, so my self esteem was pretty much in the depths.) Predictably this AA affair ended badly and I have been clinging onto my sobriety for all it's worth. The man from AA apparently has a reputation for hitting on newcomers. He has already moved another female newcomer into his home. I am pretty gobsmacked by the whole thing. I am lucky in that I have an excellent sponsor and have received brilliant support from the women in AA. It's been a pretty hellish introduction to AA...but I am hanging in here.
Thanks for reading.
"Mimi"

[PeaceJoy]

Hi Mimi and welcome to the forum! It sounds like a rough introduction into AA. The general suggestion is to not date for a year I think. I'm married and not into that anyway so I am not exactly sure. It's wonderful that you are still sober. This is such an amazing program. We learn not only how to stay sober but how to LIVE sober.

If there are women's meetings in your area you might try those. I absolutely LOVE my women's meetings. There's less distractions and I'm much more at ease. I try to go to one mixed meeting a week just for some balance but the women's meetings have saved my a$#.

Peacejoy~

[sunlight]

Hi mimi! Welcome to our family and thank you for sharing.

I've been there, done that and won first prize!

Newly divorced, newly sober and the target of the biggest con man to hit the rooms. I was so naive. I thought everyone in AA was spiritual, honest and living a God guided life. I also thought that just because I wasn't drinking my thinking was clear.

I am grateful that I stayed close to the fellowship and my sponsor. And I took those steps like my life depended on them. It did, cuz he threatened to kill me if I left him. It's a miracle I stayed sober & escaped with my life. But, even in the heat of romance, I still put my sobriety first. Thank God! Now, he's gone but I'm still sober.Those blessed steps also enabled me to recover from the pain without bitterness, spite or anger. Don't want to be dragging that garbage around to pollute future relationships!

And now I can share my experience with those who are sinking on the same Titanic, & give some guidance to those who may be thinking of buying a ticket!

Self will run riot.
Don't want to try it.

[sparklek]

Welcome Mimi. I am glad you are here with us.

[mimi]

Hello Peace Joy, Sunlight and Sparklek,
Thank you for your welcome.
And Sunlight, I am so grateful for what you have shared.
I am praying for the guy, and praying for myself (to let go) and
going to lots of other meetings, running with women AA friends (Oh thank God for the women) and my sponsor has been wonderful.
I loved what you had to say re now we're not drinking the "thinking must be clear"....lol... that's what I thought initially too.
Doh!
Mimi

[mimi]

PS Sunlight, so glad you got away from that guy too.. Whew.

[sunlight]

Wanted to share a little sequel to my story.

This man had moved out of state and he didn't cross my mind much after I'd finished taking the steps concerning him.

One day, about a year later, I was coming out of the convenience store near my house, and as I got to my car a thought popped into my head: "Lock your doors." It was very strong.

So I got in my car & locked the doors. As I reached for my seatbelt, I looked out the window & there he was, standing by my door. He was like a skeleton & there wasn't a tooth in his mouth.

I rolled the window down a bit & we small talked. Then I said I was off to a meeting & I could see this turned him off & I left.

It was interesting to me how composed I was.

But what really blew me away was the intuitive thought of locking my doors! I have SO learned to pay attention to those random, "where the heck did that come from?" thoughts.