I need some help

[Abundant1]

I just had to write in response to your gut wrenching story about losing your son. I admire your strength and ability to share such a personal story about the loss of your child. This is exactly why I know AA is the perfect place for a drunk like me.

To Jeff, please don't look for a reason to stay sober. Look for the willingness to be willing from what ever higher power you have. I have three children that I raise all on my own. My last drunk, my 13 year old came to me and said that if I didn't get sober, she would take my younger two with her to live with her father across the United States. THIS IS NOT why I got sober. At that moment, I realized what I had LOST. I couldn't lose my kids, I had already lost them. To lies, deceipt, trickery, failure and distrust. My disease had already cost them their mother. Getting sober is just ONE benefit to AA. There are SO many more that I can't list them. Drinking is typically a symtom of something WAY bigger than just the inability to put down the drink. In the safety of our sponsors light, surrounded by the herd of others who have walked before us and the book and the steps, there IS a solution to the pain we are in. You have to make a CHOICE to get out of your own way and get working on those steps with a sponsor. It is a very, VERY simple program but it is not always easy to do the work.

Jeff, your son already has lost his dad. It is now up to you whether you want to give him the father he deserves. YOU deserve that opportunity as well.

Best to you...
Abundant1

[Dallas]

Wow. Great sharing! Thanks to all of you!
Dallas

[lenny]

hello,all good to be back at the site .I remember reading in dr.bob and the oldtimers,that he had told a mans wife she was not good enough for him,now that he was trying to get sober and stay sober.I know my first year was bumpy,on feb14,i will make 2yrs by the grace of God.Nobody said it would be easy,but life is sure as heck a lot easier today,than yesterday.

[Then, and only then]

Hey. I also have 5 year old son. Looking at the date you post, and based on your post, you probably already had another run. I hope I am wrong, but.

The last time I got sober, I did not care about my son, my wife, money, house, nothing. Not a G. D. Thing. I only cared about me. I have tried to save my marriage, my business, and all that. I did not care whether she will stay or not, whether I would see my son again or not. Those were not issue.

The issue was tonight. How could I go through tonight without drinking. My wife left to her family in Califonia with my son about a month before I stopped drinking. I always had my son's picture on my night stand. I removed the photo. Any thought, I mean any, which would lead me to self-pity, I could not afford at that time.

If you have to look for a reason to stay sober, I do not think you are done yet, my friend. I think that is the most kind thing for me to tell you. I feel your pain, believe me.

Remember this, too. The blessing does not stop with you. You have a son. He has 4 times more chance to be an oneofus. Hell of a thing, isn't is? Being an alcoholic. It takes away all you got, and all you ever will be.