My Child Is Alcoholic. Help!

[Bensober]

Hey folks sorry it took so long to get back on. I have my internet is down.

[Pebbles]

Hello there-not long ago, my husband and I learned that our son who is 15 started drinking. It was a blow to us to find out, I guess because we thought "my kid wouldn't do that". But then, he DOES have two parents who are recovering alcoholics......
Basically, we treat him like we do any other alcoholic-with patience, tolerance, and love. My husband and I both talked with him, and what I told him was that I understand everything that he is going through, and that he isn't alone in this. It also helps me to remember that everyone has their own path to follow, and that everyone has to go through the things that they do, to get where they are going-that's what happened with me.
Thank you for posting!!

[sunlight]

My experience has been that "hands off" is the best policy.

The more I tried to help my son, the worse he got. And then he blamed ME for relapsing!

I needed to let him find his own way, as Pebbles said, and experience the consequences of his behavior, while letting him know I will always love him. This was not easy! He nearly died twice.

Today he is sober since he is on probation & also has just inherited his father's money. His dad, my ex, just passed away last week from his addictions. Right now my son has reasons to stay sober, but once those are no longer there....

All I can do is be a living example of sobriety and a loving mom. He knows where to go for help and that it works. The rest is up to him.

[Bensober]

Thanks Pebbles and Sunlight,
Yes keeping "hands off" is tough. My business @work, program, and other sober activity is helping. The Program is circling the wagons around him and he's slowly getting in the middle of the pack. He really is out of my hands. I never experienced this loss of control and at the same time empowerment in my relationship with him.

I realize today that my son is also my brother like you are my brothers and sisters. A friend of mine explained this when he was out one time getting drunk with his father and woke up the next morning and feeling a funny sensation in his back looked in the mirror and discovered an ice pick sticking out of his back. When he sobered up he had made the realization that his father was also his brother.

This whlole expierence has changed our relationship. Have to as you and everyone is saying STAY OUTTA THE WAY

Sorry been a little delinquent, will get back to these posts more…thanks again you two.
Ben H.