Marriage and recovery

A discussion of topics about relationships in Recovery
Then, and only then
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Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:33 pm

Postby Then, and only then » Mon Mar 07, 2011 11:36 pm

Isn't it a little odd that we are all 2,3 years sober in this issue of relationship? No 7, 8 or double digits! Maybe that is the light in the tunnel for all of us.

Whether the light is a train or hope, it will be over soon. Just couple more lonely nights and fresh cuts, it will be over soon just like every thing else in this life. Another heavy step to the highway called, "Happy Destiny.". It can not rain all day. Good night, my friends.

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Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:03 pm

Postby sunlight » Tue Mar 08, 2011 5:49 pm

Sometimes there is nothing more that I can do, except stop hurting myself or other people.

I tried for one and a half decades to save my marriage. I did not know about addiction then. When I did, I had to divorce him for my own safety and sanity. He was so hurt. He thought I was "bored". He never saw the wreckage.

When I made amends to my best friend, she said she never wanted to see or speak to me again. She never has.

I once brought a speaker to my AA club. He was the most phenomenal AA I'd ever met. After he spoke people flocked to him to ask him questions. One man asked, "How do I get my wife and children back?" He said, "You may never get them back. But what you can do is be the kind of person whom they would be happy to be with, should they come back."

Yes, that's something I can do, with God's help.

But, being an alcoholic, I can also be of service to those who are still suffering. This kind of balances the books for me.

And I can enjoy the life that I have been given, in gratitude to the One Who has given it.

My prayers are with you, friend.

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Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:35 am

Postby Divina » Wed Mar 09, 2011 1:05 am

Dallas wrote: And, one of the most heart-breaking things to me was the realization that IF we could have joined in Unity -- to use the Steps & Traditions in our marriage -- it could have been a most heavenly experience. But, as they say... it takes two to Tango.

I found my beloved in AA. He had more sobriety than me in that time, it was very helpful for our relationships. Now we together try to live by steps and traditions. It is amazing :)
It was few moments in my live then I had some distrust, jealous and fears, and then I was read BB -To Wives... I found answers and some comfort for my feelings.
Steps X-XI is very helpful for us too :)

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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:45 pm


Postby brandi929 » Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:56 pm

its funny because for me i didnt do relationships well using and now that im sober i still cant because i have to go to any lengths for my recovery. i got remarried 6 months ago. we both were sober me longer then him and he still had doubts. two days ago i had to leave as much as i love him and want to help him he is not ready and i have to do whatever it takes to stay sober. my situation had already lead me to a few relapses and im not willing to go there again. some times the hardest things to do are the best things for us. thats how it has been for me. good luck to you and any one else

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Postby Dallas » Fri Apr 01, 2011 8:59 pm

Brandi, I understand. Thanks for sharing.


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