I want to stay sober so badly but it's so hard
. I am a 25 year old girl who just broke up with an older man who was another addict. We never drugged together, thank god. But our bad behaviors would come out and bring out the worst in us and recently I relapsed in pills, benzos, and pain killers. I'm ashamed, embarrassed, and disappointed in myself. I had a year without smoking heroin but I dabbled in drinking from time to time within that year, which I know realize was a stupid mistake. I love the man I broke up with but he is also a good amount older with children. An addict has to take that into considerable concentration. I'll always love Scott. But somehow and someway I feel as though we will never be unfortunately bc of this terrible disease. I wish that wasn't the case but he needs a woman who wont fall and I need a man who picks me up when I fall, rather than run and protect his children (which I totally understand bc I would do the same if I had children of my own). So does this mean, if I begin to search for love again, looking for another recovering addict is a problem or a good thing? Bc in a way, before I relapsed on pills, we did end up helping each other in many ways. I'm lost and need advice on how to stay sober, and confront the one you love that you need help.