When I finally hit my bottom it wasn't hard for me. All I had to do was, first ask myself:
a. Do I want to go on drinking to the bitter end? Or...
b. Do I want to get sober and have sobriety kill me?
I was screwed no matter which way I turned.
1. I had no choice as to whether I was going to go on drinking or not -- because I couldn't stop drinking -- AND STAY STOPPED.
2. The reason I drank was -- sobriety was killing me and it was more painful to die sober than it was to die drinking.
So, I made a decision.
Fortunately, I didn't believe it would take very long for sobriety to kill me -- so I figured I just had to find a way to stay sober for a little while, until the sobriety killed me.
I had one goal. I had two young sons -- and I didn't want them to ever see me drinking or drunk again. And, I was willing to go to any lengths to make that happen. I wanted to at least imagine them saying at my grave, that "Dad didn't live sober for very long -- but he did die sober and we never saw him take another drink again."
OK. I had the plan down. I knew what to do and how it was going to end.
Here was my problem: "How... am I going to stay sober? I can't do it!"
I'm an alcoholic -- and the REASON that alcoholic's drink is: they are alcoholic.
I couldn't... but I saw some people in AA... that were staying sober.
So, that left me with my final choice:
1. Do I fail again, like I've failed over and over and over and over again?
2. Do I go and ask them if they will help me?
I picked #2. And, as a result... me, who in my last stages of drinking was lucky to go two hours without a drink... I haven't had a drink in the last 8,926 days in a row.
By the way... just in case you haven't noticed... sobriety hasn't killed me yet, either!
Good luck with whatever you decide to choose! I wish the best for you. At least you'll be a good example of reference, that we can refer to, as:
1. One who asked for help and made it. Or...
2. Another one that tried to do it alone like we tried to do it alone -- and didn't make it.
So far -- over the last 25 yrs I haven't noticed one that made it alone w/out any help ... yet. And, you just might be the ONE that can do it!