kingofspades wrote: We have not done anything with each other just holding hands, hugging, kiss on the cheek.
When I was a teenager I had a wise man tell me about the law of diminshing returns concerning intimacy in relationships. He told me that the things that sent bolts of electricity though my body at first, e.g. holding hands, would eventually stop sending out those bolts. Then I would have to progess to something more physically intimate to get that same rush. Almost like chasing the high off your first hit...
What he failed to mention was that when there is a deep level of emotional intimacy, knowing and be known by others, the law of diminishing returns is no longer valid. There are days that I see my wife and it's like I'm looking at her for the first time. She will hold my hand and I'll feel lightning shoot through my body.
Hasn't always been like that in our marraige. For a long time my selfishness and selfcenteredness kept me from truly knowing, and truly loving, my wife. Now that I love her in the way that I am supposed to love her I get to experience fireworks all the time.
My experience has been that physical intimacy always acted as counterfit emotional intimacy for me. It wasn't until I develop true emotional intimacy with someone that I could properly experience physical intimacy.
Dallas is right when he says we are fragile.
In Ingrid Michaelson's song Breakable she says, "Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts? Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts. So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess and stop the muscle that makes us confess. We are so fragile, our cracking bones make noise. We are just breakable, breakable, breakable, girls and boys."
Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
In all of my relationships, I try to hold true to that verse. I not only work to protect my heart but also seek to avoid acting in ways that might hurt others.
On this board I have seen many a person say ... this is my story ... am I an alcoholic? Before the thread ends, someone usually says if you have to ask, you probably are.
My experience has been that I usually need to proceed with caution when I have to ask the question, "Is this the right thing for me to do?"