- My name is kevin

My name is kevin




Alcoholics and Addicts sharing their personal recovery story with us to help others who want to recover.

My name is kevin

Postby kevinb » Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:57 am

im an alchoholic :cry: . the stuff is killing me. i need help. im losing everything. ive been reading some of these stories. they remind me so much of myself. i dont like the person ive become. now i need the strength to move forward. im fortunate enough to have a beautiful girlfreind, inside and out , that has much experience in therapy, that read me the riot act. she has been sent from God. i will take all the advice i can get from any of you out there. i want to beat this. PLEASE HELP!!!
kevinb
 
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:48 am

Postby Dallas » Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:36 pm

Welcome to the site Kevin. I understand the feeling. I woke up on a morning in December 1985 and felt the same way. I didn't really believe in my inner most self that I was an alcoholic. I thought I had maybe just slipped from being crazy to going insane.... and that something I couldn't put my finger on had happened to me. It was a sense of impending doom in the past tense.

I went to AA and stayed sober for almost 5 1/2 months... figuring that if I stayed sober for six months it would prove I wasn't alcoholic. I was totally determined to stay sober for at least two more weeks -- and on a Thursday afternoon, after having gone to an AA meeting the night before, and having gone to at least three meetings a day before that -- I discovered, that unaware to me -- I was already drinking again!

I spent the next 5 months trying to control it -- because it seemed like no matter how many AA meetings I went to -- I couldn't get to one sober. I'd leave my house sober to go to a meeting 15 minutes from where I lived -- and I'd be drunk by the time I got to the meeting.

What I discovered from all that was:
a. I was really alcoholic -- for real.
b. Not even all the people in AA would be able to keep me sober.
c. I had to find something -- that was greater than my power and all the power in AA to help me.
d. I had no faith and no belief that AA or God could, or would help me.

I became willing to follow someone elses directions, instead of my own, and I began to take some actions -- that I didn't believe would help me.

I continued taking those actions and I still continue to follow someone elses directions, as needed, and I continue to check-in with them, so that they can check me out and see if I'm doing ok or if it's just a figment of my imagination that I'm doing ok. :lol: And, the date of my last drink (or drug) has been November 14th. 1986 -- I haven't had one (or two or more) since then. :lol:

There is help for you if you're willing to do more than to pray and find God. :lol: There is a lot of actions and more actions that I had to take. But, today, I can honestly say: I'm living the Good Life. Happy, joyous, and free and comfortable -- while sober.

We here to help if you want it.

Dallas
Dallas
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Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Yes

Postby kevinb » Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:49 pm

i am willing. I need help. I have always thought that i could do it on my own. My wonderful girlfriend that loves me more than life has convinced me otherwise. i have never listened to anyone else before. she knows how to get to me :) i truely believe she was sent by God. im looking for someone in North alabama to sponsor and guide me. My wonderful lady thinks it needs to be a former athlete, a little older than me......someone in the upper 40's. If you know someone or know how i could find theis person....please let me know
kevinb
 
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:48 am

Postby Dallas » Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:34 pm

What city in Alabama? I'll see if I can locate someone or a number to call.
Dallas
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Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby kevinb » Thu Jul 07, 2011 7:58 am

Dallas,

Anywhere fom Birmingham to Huntsville.

Last night was tough, but i made it through. I really need a sponsor bad. My girlfriend is doing her very best to help me get through this, but i dont want my weakness to destroy our relationship. There is a lot that comes with fighting this disease. Anxiety, depression, and mood changes. I want t beat this so bad, but I cant do it alone. iI used to think that i was bullet proof and could just stop anytime i wanted...........not the case. when you finally make the decision to quit and fight it....it becomes more difficult at that point. Because before, there was no battle when you had no intentions of stopping. I feel very weak right now and could use all the help i can get.

thanks,

Kevin
kevinb
 
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:48 am

Postby Dallas » Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:14 am

Call one of these numbers below and ask them for help:


BIRMINGHAM ALABAMA A.A.
Birmingham A.A. Intergroup
242 W. Valley Ave. Suite 211
Birmingham AL - Telephone 205 290-0060

HUNTSVILLE ALABAMA A.A.
Huntsville A.A. Intergroup
3322 Memorial Pkwy SW Suite 519
Huntsville AL - Telephone 256 885-0323
Alabama District 20, AA includes the following cities: Huntsville, Madison, Decatur, Morgan City, and Athens. www.aahuntsvilleal.org
Dallas
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Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby sunlight » Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:45 am

Hi Keven and welcome to sobriety! :D

Sounds to me like you have the gift of desperation. Lucky you! It IS a gift.
I was given this gift too, and it enabled me to take the steps and actions to get and stay sober. It gave me courage and strength to go where I had never gone before and didn't think I was even capable of going.

If a waste case like me can get and stay sober, there's hope for all of us!

Click on those links and let us know your experience. Strength and hope come with it. :wink:
sunlight
 
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Location: Denver Co

Postby Dallas » Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:07 am

Good morning Kevin!

I got your email. That's great!
Please keep checking in with us.
We're all praying for you and wishing you the best
and we'll want to know how you are doing and
whether we can help. Also, checking in here in the forum
and keeping us updated will be helpful to someone else
just like you -- who wants to know "What do I do next and how is it working out for you?"

Best wishes,

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby kevinb » Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:16 am

11 days sober!!!
kevinb
 
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:48 am

Postby Dallas » Thu Jul 14, 2011 11:24 am

that's great! hang in there!
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

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