My pain & misery didn't come from drinking. My pain & misery was there when I was sober. That's why I drank. Drinking was my solution for the pain & misery I suffered while sober.
I'm 25 yrs sober now. No more pain & misery while sober. The reason there is no more pain & misery while sober is NOT because I've been sober for a long time. It's BECAUSE of the work that I did on myself -- long ago, after I got sober -- so that I COULD stay sober and enjoy my sobriety.
When I first came to AA and I heard them say to me "you never HAVE to drink again"... I didn't believe them. And, I didn't believe that God could or would relieve my obsession to drink, nor would he or could he restore me to sanity.
My sponsor said to me "I don't care what you believe or what you disbelieve. What you believe is not important right now. Are you willing to take these actions REGARDLESS of what you believe?" And, I said "Yes."
I was shocked, amazed, dazed, and surprised -- that the actions worked.
I'm no longer shocked, amazed, dazed or surprised that the actions worked -- because I have experienced it for myself.
I don't even remember the last time that I thought about drinking. You see, I don't think about drinking. I think about staying sober.
How do you NOT do something? No one can tell us how to NOT do something -- because it's impossible to NOT do something!
They can show us what TO DO and how TO DO IT. It is within each of us -- the POWER to DO something.
While I watch people struggle to NOT DO something -- I am amazed at their stubborn-ness... to consider something different than what they are doing.
The alcoholic is narcissistic, defiant, and grandiose. They believe they are right, that they are all powerful and that they can control ANYTHING. So, they go along living their lives as dummies... unwilling to take direction from someone else... as they continue to feed themselves THEIR OWN SOLUTIONS -- which we ALL know... (except for them) that their ideas -- is what keeps them from achieving and MAINTAINING their sobriety.
AA is simply a way that an alcoholic can withdraw from alcohol -- and engage in comfortable, sober living. It's not magic. It's a tool. And, it has to be used like a tool.
You can have the best shovel in the world -- but it you don't use it -- it simply sits in a corner collecting dust and rust.