Am I missing something?

[sunlight]

I went to a speakers meeting over the weekend. The speaker was a man who had gotten sober in 1986, and he said he was sponsored in the old school AA. His story was great. I especially liked how he told his experience with each step. I remember thinking that he was fortunate to have gotten sober when AA wasn't a warm and fuzzy group therapy session. He looked vauguely familiar.

Then he shared how he was having a really hard time lately & a fellow asked if he meditated. He admitted he hadn't much, so he renewed his efforts at meditation & was feeling much better. He said he now had the strength to face the numerous indictments against him by the FBI, SEC etc. on mortgage fraud.

SAY WHAT?

Now I remember reading about him in the paper.

I am coming across this more and more as I speak to alcoholics. People telling me how they cheated on their spouse, bilked their insurance company, took what didn't belong to them...you get the picture. And it's mostly those who have been sober a long time.

I once asked a woman how she could justify her clearly illegal behavior & she said, "My God doesn't care what I do."

Am I missing something here? What page are we on? What step are we on? If I am on step 11 and living in the world of spiritual make believe, I hope I have a good sponsor to slap the out of me!

Thank you for letting me vent.

[Pebbles]

Thanks for sharing this.....it's all justification, rationalization....clearly no steps were being worked on!! This reminds me of where I can go if I start resting on my laurels....

[Dallas]

I don't believe that this is the norm, Sunlight. I've seen very few alcoholics stay sober for the long-haul, and even fewer of them -- that haven't made their amends and changed their lives -- and are still sober.

It does happen though.

I figure, if you can't trust they are telling the truth, if they haven't cleaned house, if they are still living a crooked lifestyle -- then, how can we believe that they are really sober?

Out in LA, where I got sober -- my home group, and many of the other groups that I frequented -- we shared our Sobriety Date. This was the date of our last drink with nothing in between and no alternative substances.

When I moved to where I live now, I would ask people "What's your sobriety date?" Their answers were frequently "I've been in the program since (such and such) year."

When I'd press them for what that meant -- they'd frequently say "Well. I first came to AA in 1985.... Then again in 1990. And, again in 1997. And, 1998. And, yep, I'm still coming back!" What they failed to acknowledge was "I still kept coming back SOBER with no drinking or drugs in between!"

There's one guy here that say's he's 35 yrs "in the program". LOL. He swears he hasn't drank -- but he does use pot and he was selling it to newcomers. And, a few of the old-timers still around, remember some of the more recent 12-Step calls that they made on him.

You know... So what? They've got to live in their skins. I don't have to live in their skin. They're most often miserable. I don't want what they've got -- I keep coming back, sober -- so I don't get what they got.

We can know the truth --= and the truth, can set us free.

Hugs to you!

Dallas

[Dallas]

Also -- none of us are perfect, and those that get nearly perfect, screw up. That's normal. When the pain & misery get bad enough -- we change. We feel good. We do the work. Then, if we stick around long enough -- we start resting on our laurels -- and even when we don't drink -- we can still screw up. We have a Step for this. Step 10.

Heck, if I got what I deserved -- even in sobriety -- I wouldn't be sober or alive. We have a loving God. Maybe, He helps us even when we're screwing up. Or, maybe we just got lucky and didn't get caught.

[sunlight]

Ah yes, judge not!

It's my job to take care of my sobriety, not yours.
But when I see my brother or sister headed for the pit, I do need to gently remind them that they are bound for the dumpster. I can give examples from my own life too! I had a studio dumpster apartment for 2 years! And with love and concern my fellows told me that I was blind, and they helped me see the light. When our only desire is to be helpful rather than self-righteous, the message gets across much better.

"Practice these principles in all our affairs."

I think I'll choose that today (and every day!) I LOVE being truly sober!

[Dallas]

and, you are truly, a loving sober being Sunlight.

You have my permission and my encouragement -- that if you ever see me in the pit or headed for the pit -- grab me by the neck, the hair, the ear, the toe... I don't care where you grab me -- just get hold of me and shake some sense into my head! I have no problems w/ anyone judging me -- if that's what they want to call it -- I see it as helping me.

You rock Sunlight!

Best wishes for you

Dallas

[sunlight]

You bet!

But only if you all will do the same for me. I can get to going sideways and not even know it.

Keep it fresh, friends.