- Are the 12 Steps only suggestions?

Are the 12 Steps only suggestions?




12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.

Are the 12 Steps only suggestions?

Postby Dallas » Thu May 19, 2011 2:54 pm

Are the 12 Steps only suggestions?

Can you imagine the reaction in a meeting, if Bill W., our Co-Founder, said the following in a meeting today -- as he wrote in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions:

"Unless each A.A. member follows to the best of his ability our suggested Twelve Steps to recovery, he almost certainly signs his own death warrant. His drunkenness and dissolution are not penalties inflicted by people in authority; they result from his personal disobedience to spiritual principles." Bill W. pg 174, 12&12

Oh what an order!

When I read the above quote from Bill W. in the 12 &12 this morning -- I wondered what the Fellowship of today would have said to him if he said that in one of their meetings. OMG! Bill! Love & Tolerance! Progress rather than Perfection! You'll drive the newcomers out Bill! -- those are only suggestions!!! Easy Does it! Bill! You sound like one of those Big Book Thumpers!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Bill W. is a Founder of AA. He wrote the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous -- for the original Pioneer's in the Fellowship.
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Postby sunlight » Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:25 pm

I'm sure I didn't win any popularity contests last night.
It was birthday night at our AA club & when it was my turn to speak, the following words came out of my mouth: :shock:

"The steps, the steps, the steps. I hear so many people saying how much they owe to this program, and that they don't know what they'd do without this program, yet they've told me themselves that they've never taken the steps.
What do you think this program is? It's the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, as they are outlined in the big book. There is no other program. To me, going to meetings, contacting other alcoholics and socializing with them is a supplement to the program. Trying to stay sober without taking the steps is like trying to live by just taking vitamins and never taking any real food. Maybe you can do it, but you won't be very healthy."

The looks of horror among the crowd! ( Glad no one had tomatoes or rocks :lol: ) But not from those who have taken the steps and help others to do the same.

And later I got the best birthday gift of all - a woman who asked me to take her through the steps because she "really wants to" Yes! :D

Thank you for letting me be unpopular! :wink:
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Postby Dallas » Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:46 pm

It's unfortunate -- that when we tell them the truth, that will save their lives -- so many do not want to hear it. And, you're right -- I'm not too popular. :lol: :lol:

I'd rather tell the truth and watch one or two lives get saved -- instead of watching the whole room bounce around like ping pong balls until they pop. :lol:

I wish I could have been there to hear you!

Thank you, Sunlight.

Dallas
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Postby Pebbles » Mon Jun 20, 2011 4:15 am

I wish I could have been there for that, too!! :)
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Postby Sermon » Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:02 pm

Patients, Love, and Tolerance is our CODE.
The Steps is How "I" got it.
When I got here I wasn't one of the ones that could decided to pick up ash trays, make alittle coffee, take out the trash every now and then, donate a dollar, and get a couple numbers.
I had been beaten into the Hopless State of MIND & BODY the book talks about.
Anything LESS than a Spiritual Experience wasn't gonna to cut it for me. My sponsor pointed that out. Thank God that the steps are so cut and dry that it wasn't very hard to find out how to get a Spiritual Experience. It's only in the first part of step 12, having had a spiritual awakening "AS A RESULT OF THESE STEPS"
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Postby Camel » Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:58 pm

Sermon wrote:Patients, Love, and Tolerance is our CODE.
The Steps is How "I" got it.
When I got here I wasn't one of the ones that could decided to pick up ash trays, make alittle coffee, take out the trash every now and then, donate a dollar, and get a couple numbers.
I had been beaten into the Hopless State of MIND & BODY the book talks about.
Anything LESS than a Spiritual Experience wasn't gonna to cut it for me. My sponsor pointed that out. Thank God that the steps are so cut and dry that it wasn't very hard to find out how to get a Spiritual Experience. It's only in the first part of step 12, having had a spiritual awakening "AS A RESULT OF THESE STEPS"


Not to let the 12th Step be misquoted, Sermon, it states, "Having had a spiritual awakening as THE result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."
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Postby Camel » Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:44 pm

Taking the 12 Steps as suggestions almost killed me. My alcoholic mind understood "suggested", as "If I wanted to, but really didn't have to." There are 103 "MUSTS", in the Big Book. 51 in the first 164 pages, by my count. Not necessarily the word "must", in every respect, but words or phrases that indicate must. Such as, "have to", or "had to", or imperative.
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Not really suggestions after all....but that's okay with me.

Postby katie628 » Sat Nov 05, 2011 8:07 pm

MUST or it kills us........ Pg. 62
Resentments MUST be mastered..... Pg. 66
MUST be willing........ Pg. 69
MUST make amends... Pg. 69
MUST be entirely honest... Pg.73
MUST confess............... Pg. 74
MUST be hard on ourself ... Pg. 74
MUST not postpone......... Pg. 75
MUST lose fear........... Pg. 78
MUST not shrink anything. ... Pg. 79
MUST not shrink........ Pg. 80
MUST keep sober.......... Pg. 82
MUST take the lead...... Pg. 83
MUST remember........... Pg. 83
MUST carry the vision..... Pg. 85
MUST go with us.............. Pg. 85
MUST go further............... Pg. 85
MUST be careful............... Pg. 86
MUST not miss................. Pg. 89
MUST decide these things ... Pg. 90
MUST be accompanied ... Pg. 93
MUST decide for himself... Pg. 95
MUST come from within.... Pg. 95
MUST be done.............. Pg. 99
MUST try to repair damage... Pg. 99
MUST be on a better basis... Pg. 99
MUST walk in the path ... Pg. 100
MUST act............. Pg. 113
MUST start anew. ... Pg. 114
MUST be on guard... Pg. 115
MUST apologize. ... Pg. 117
MUST carry............ Pg. 118
MUST not expect... Pg. 127
MUST realize......... Pg. 127
MUST see danger..... Pg. 135
MUST be convinced.... Pg. 143
MUST change.......... Pg. 144
MUST abide.............. Pg. 144
MUST decide............ Pg. 146
MUST be honest......... Pg. 152
MUST get along....... Pg. 153
MUST find a way out.... Pg. 156
MUST keep spiritually ... Pg. 159
MUST help others... Pg. 164
MUST rely on God....... Pg. XIII
MUST present to others ... Pg. XXVI
MUST believe........... Pg. XXVIII
MUST have depth...... Pg. XXVIII
MUST be grounded in ... Pg. XXVIII
MUST stop drinking..... Pg. XXIX
MUST help............. Pg. XXIX
MUST feel............ Pg. XXIX
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Postby Dallas » Sat Nov 05, 2011 8:59 pm

Thanks for sharing. Sounds about right to me! :wink:
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Postby Toast » Mon Nov 07, 2011 2:00 pm

Thanks Katie, great post.

Funny how your must's change as we get older. 1st it was 'master the resentments' now its 'carry the vision.'

I'll say it again, a great post, thanks :lol:
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