Step 7 discussion

[TexasMark]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum, but I come here quit a bit to get discussion ideas for when I chair a meeting. This is a great board!!

So anyhow, I chair tonight and we have been having meetings on being humble and humility for the last couple of weeks. I was trying to think of a different topic while staying in step 7, but moving away from a humility discussion. If that makes any sense. I try to make my meeting topics different than the norm, so that everone stays interested and wants to share. Anyhow, my mind has gone blank, maybe I need more coffee. Do y'all have any suggestions?

Thanks
Mark

[Dallas]

Welcome to the forum Mark! Great to have you here and equally great to read your participation! Many join -- but not many participate. And, I especially enjoy the participation of those that participate.

I could probably think of a few out-of-the norm thoughts about Step 7.

One thought I've had is: Step 6 is directly related to Step 7.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these
defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

I spent a lot of time and effort at trying to fix my character defects and I wasn't very successful at it. I had the view prior to taking the Steps that AA and the Steps were much like a "self-improvement program."

What I later discovered while taking the Steps is: that God, REALLY WILL REMOVE my character defects -- if and when I let Him.

What I love most about 6 & 7 is: the experience I had when I took them! After doing my 5th Step w/ my sponsor, not realizing that he had already read the book -- and had taken the Steps like I was going to take them, he gave me some instructions that I wrote down -- I was to go home, or some quiet place, and spend an hour thinking about what I had done that day. (The 5th Step experience) ... Then, after an hour, not longer than an hour and not shorter than an hour ... I was to take my book down from the shelf and..." (the full instructions are in the book for this).

I was so terrified about relapsing again -- that I wanted to follow his instructions PRECISELY ... so, since my book was "not on a shelf" ... and I didn't have a shelf to take it down from -- I panicked!

Oh crap! What am I going to do! I don't have a shelf to take my book down from -- and I can't build one or it will mess up "the hour" thing.

So, I put my book on top of my TV, and called my TV the shelf -- and asked God, "please forgive me God! I don't have a shelf! Please don't get mad at me for using the TV for the shelf -- I'm just trying to follow instructions precisely or else I'll get drunk again!"

I had that horrible feeling in my gut for the whole hour -- about the shelf, as I followed the rest of the instructions to the best of my ability.

Then, when I took my book off the shelf that I had improvided... following the written note... I turned to the page that my sponsor had had me start reading from!

Low & behold! Everything my sponsor had asked me to do and to write down in the note -- was right there in the Big Book! I had never read the Big Book in my first attempt at AA sobriety! I had thought that "I was too smart to read that old book!"

I was so danged smart about it (on my first trip into AA) -- that I ended up starting to drink again at 5 1/2 months sober -- when I had been totally determined to NOT drink for two more weeks so that I could get my six month chip!

I had thought -- that I was self-improving! Getting better by my efforts -- without even asking for God's help and without even reading the instructions in the BB!

When I got to the Seventh Step Prayer -- in taking Step 7, by following the instructions IN the book -- it became one of the most wonderful experience that I've had in my whole life!

My obsession to drink had been removed at Step 7 -- but I didn't even know it at the time! I had a fear that I would drink again -- but no obsession to drink!

Later on -- in going back through the Steps, I realized that I had forgot to ask God to REMOVE MY FEAR!

You see -- my sponsor had not pointed that out to me as I took my 4th & 5th Step -- as the book instructs! So, I didn't do it then.

This is getting too long and I could write more... but I better end it here.

Dallas

[TexasMark]

That is too funny Dallas. I did the same thing, sorta. I got home thinking the same thing "I don't have a shelf to put my Big Book on, what do I do?". I put it in the closet away from me and then pulled it out of the closet after an hour.

Actually you brought up something I have been pondering. "Character"
I remember setting in a meeting once and the topic was building character. In the 12x12 it talks of character as part of step 7.

"True, most of us thought good character was desirable, but obviously good character was something one needed to get on with the business of being self-satisfied. With a proper display of honesty and morality, we'd stand a better chance of getting what we really wanted." pg 71-72

Anyhow, still bouncing ideas off the wall.

Funny, I will be sober 17 months on the 17th, but every time I open the Big Book something new pops out at me.

Mark

[Dallas]

That sounds good as a weave into your topic Mark! Without efforts to build good character -- I know for certain, that I would not have been able to stay sober!

[TexasMark]

I think I have come up with something else. "Asking for help"

You have to humble yourself inorder to do that, and we all know asking for help is something we need to do in recovery. Yet, especially for the newcomer, we fail to pick up the phone some times and ask.

I know I was that way in the beginning, but I've learned to call my sponsor. I never wanted to burden anyone with my problems. I also went back out and drank then too.

I guess for me it had to do with growing up in the John Wayne way of life. I'm a man, I don't need any help, I can do this on my own.....that type mentality. It takes humility to go and pick up that phone or go to a meeting and asking "can you help me".

I'm just thinking outloud now

Thanks
Mark

[sunlight]

Hi Mark!

Our group just did a step study on the 7th step (we do the step # that corresponds to the month) on Wednesday and the focus of it was "shortcomings".

What are they? Do I even have any? How do they block me from the sunlight of the Spirit? What is my experience with having God remove them? Have I faked their removal and subsequent sainthood, only to have them bite me in the butt?

Made for a pretty searching topic, but not fearless!

Thanks for your question.

[Dallas]

Asking for help -- was one of the toughest things I ever did!

[TexasMark]

Funny thing, but happens alot, I work on a topic, prepare it.........and we have a newcomer. That's what happened last night. I like newcomer meetings though. I can use my topic next week.

[Dallas]

I understand. I feel so blessed when I've prepared well for a topic -- and then a newcomer shows up and it becomes a newcomer meeting. For me -- that's the best that can happen!