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Alcoholic Help




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Alcoholic Help

Postby Jools » Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:09 pm

Hi,

It is very hard for me to even begin to ask for help.

I am going to meetings, reading the book, praying (wonder if God even listens to me), have a sponsor who has been out of town a lot.

She gave me a Hazelden book on the first 3 steps. I firmly believe the only book I need to work out of is the big book, but I did it anyway. We reviewed the first step and plan to meet this week for the second.

I have called women in AA even tho it's the hardest thing I've done in a long time. I feel like a pain in the rump calling them and do not have much to say.

I have been sober for 4 weeks tomorrow. Every night I came home to a drunken husband. He left me Saturday for allowing my pill snorting son to move back in. I really don't care that my husband is gone except for the financial insecurity that comes with that. This is a two paycheck household.

I caught my son going thru my purse Sunday morning, said he was looking for my phone which makes no sense cuz he has his own phone. He also stole all of the quarters out of my change jar but vehemently denies it of course. I need to kick him out but just do not have the energy to do so.

I feel like I'm going out of my cotton pickin' mind right now as I sit here crying not even knowing why.

I do not want to drink because I can't anymore. I tried to commit suicide twice since Nov '10. So, for me to drink is to die and I know that.

It aint lookin' too pretty for me right now tho.

Thanx for listening.
Julie
Jools
 
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Postby Dallas » Tue Jul 26, 2011 9:18 am

As I read your message, I guess, by habit, I found myself making a "To-Do List" out of it. That's one of the most important lessons I've learned is: Making my Daily To-Do List -- and then, doing the things on my list.

If you turned your message into your own "To-Do List" What do you suppose it would look like?

How would you number the items -- in terms of Priority? Like #1, 2, 3. Etc. ?
Dallas
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Postby ~Jools~ » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:11 am

1. Read Daily Reflection & 24 Hours a Day

2. Pray

3. Call people in AA

4. Read the big book

5. Go to a meeting

6. Give the son the boot

Thats my list for today
~Jools~
 
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Postby ~Jools~ » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:23 am

and last.....figure out how I have two names lol
~Jools~
 
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How my actions change my mood

Postby Toast » Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:01 pm

Hi Julie,

Cant be easy for you, especially in early recovery.

tHe only thing that can change my mood is my actions, and believe me sometimes i feel quite justified in staying in a rut but i know its not what God intended for my life so i have to get up off my butt and go do something for someone or do just about anything that will take me away from myself and wont harm others.

They say this programme is character building and my character is what i do when i'm on my own. Do i keep it clean and do something decent like help another AA or strenghten my mind by reading a book or do i take advantage of the fact that no ones watching (not even God i gave him the day off) and get up to no good just to feed my rebellious ego?

Easy does it but do it! :lol:
Toast
 
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Re: Help

Postby Camel » Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:16 pm

thanx_2hm wrote:Hi,

It is very hard for me to even begin to ask for help.

I am going to meetings, reading the book, praying (wonder if God even listens to me), have a sponsor who has been out of town a lot.

She gave me a Hazelden book on the first 3 steps. I firmly believe the only book I need to work out of is the big book, but I did it anyway. We reviewed the first step and plan to meet this week for the second.

I have called women in AA even tho it's the hardest thing I've done in a long time. I feel like a pain in the rump calling them and do not have much to say.

I have been sober for 4 weeks tomorrow. Every night I came home to a drunken husband. He left me Saturday for allowing my pill snorting son to move back in. I really don't care that my husband is gone except for the financial insecurity that comes with that. This is a two paycheck household.

I caught my son going thru my purse Sunday morning, said he was looking for my phone which makes no sense cuz he has his own phone. He also stole all of the quarters out of my change jar but vehemently denies it of course. I need to kick him out but just do not have the energy to do so.

I feel like I'm going out of my cotton pickin' mind right now as I sit here crying not even knowing why.

I do not want to drink because I can't anymore. I tried to commit suicide twice since Nov '10. So, for me to drink is to die and I know that.

It aint lookin' too pretty for me right now tho.

Thanx for listening.
Julie


Julie,
Another view would be God did indeed hear your prayers. We don't reach out for help on our own. This addiction will NEVER tell you you need help. You are never "being a pain in the rump", by trying to contact someone in this Program, either. We need you as much as you need us. We want you to call. That's how it works. One alcoholic talking with another, sharing experience, strength, and hope. Talking. Not thinking. Can't comment on your Son, or your Husband, as I am not qualified. Wouldn't if I could, quite frankly, as I believe that should be discussed one on one, with your sponsor. But that's just me. I could be right, or I could be wrong. The good and right and important thing here is you are sober, in spite of the circumstances. You are getting stronger every minute of your sobriety. Any day without a drink is a good day. Just continue to pray for God to take your desire to drink today. Just for today. "There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us."

Hub
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Postby ~Jools~ » Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:36 pm

Thanks for your input.

I have brought everything up to my sponsor. She said, oh I'm sorry you're going thru that. Are you going to the meeting tonight and can we meet up tomorrow after the meeting. That's the extent of it.

I asked my son for my key tonight and, of course, he was incredulous that I do not want him to live here. He is in denial to the extreme. I know I hurt him more than help him by trying to fix him. He has a car so he has a place to sleep.

As far as the husband goes, I'm just not doing anything. Not calling him, not making any decisions, just not drinking.

Glad I got it out and off my chest. Waking up to that feeling of impending doom again and I do not like it.

Julie
~Jools~
 
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Postby sunlight » Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:58 pm

Hi Jools,

Sounds like a pretty good to-do list. I especially like #6.

When I got sober I was married to a raging drug addict, and my son was living with me & using as well. My friends & family didn't want anything to do with me cuz I'd created so much wreckage, havoc and hell. So, I hung out at different meetings & got to know people there. I wanted to be anywhere other than home.

Taking the steps helped in dealing with that, but I needed the help of Al-Anon too. There I found people who were in my situation (most groups are accepting of drugs as well as alcohol family issues). I learned how to take care of myself, how to put an end to being used, abused and mocked. How to keep my sanity and serenity. How to polish and accentuate my positive qualities and how to just plain have fun. Yep, it's another meeting to go to, but "I don't have to go, I get to go." And Al-Anon women are AMAZONS! Sexy, savvy and strong. Al-Anon brought me to shore when I was shipwrecked with my family. There are lots of people who are just like you & me and are still alive & sober & happy! Check it out if you want, especially if you're having a hard time with #6. :wink:

Do you remember the story you posted a long time ago about your neighbor's myrtle leaves? (when I have more time I'll find it here) I ALWAYS think of it when I'm feeling antsy or a little squirrelly. Then, I go looking for someone's mrytle leaves to rake, so to speak. In other words: ACTION!

(You have two names because you are a cyber-hog!!!!!!! :lol :lol: :wink: )

Love you always
sunlight
 
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Postby ~Jools~ » Wed Jul 27, 2011 8:43 am

LOL @ cyber hog!

Hey girlfriend!!

YES! I do remember that. But I forgot it when I was drinking last fall lol. We both know what I'll be doing this fall right?

Yes, I know I need alanon....and I need it a lot. I'll check into that and at least hit one meeting a week.

Love to you girl and thanks for always bringing sunshine into my life even when I was drinking.
~Jools~
 
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Location: Wilmington NC

Postby sunlight » Thu Jul 28, 2011 2:02 pm

Found that post!

When I try to post the link, the page is no longer available. :? Maybe Dallas can help? I'm not too swift on these things. :lol:

It's in the AA Recovery forum, under the topic "Is sobriety enough?" from 2008.

I love reading over our old posts. Sometimes I'm my own best teacher! :wink:
sunlight
 
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