Glad you shared, cuz I feel like I'm going absolutely crazy here. Been sober a month now and you reminded me that drinking is not the answer today.
I just started the 4th step today because I know that I'm going to feel like this until I get thru these steps.
Of course, the ole intellectual idiot inside my head is telling me, oh those steps aren't going to solve your problems, blah blah blah. Well, I am so full of uniqueness that I can't see the forest thru the trees.
Why wouldn't they work for me? They have worked for everyone else who does them honestly.
I would be crazier if I wasn't going to meetings and talking to other people in AA. And it hasn't been easy doing that either. I love calling women (which goes against every fiber of my I can do it myself being) and them not call me back. Don't they KNOW I'm hurting? DON'T they CARE????? Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink.
It's GOT to get better cuz I feel like I'm at the bottom of the barrel emotionally right now.
Just so you know, I've been in and out of AA since '85. Had 9 years dry once, I was an frickin' worse nut case than I am now. Full of anger and rage. Boy that was fun.
I have honestly never worked thru all 12 steps. Last time I got about 8 months under my belt and my sponsor up and moved back to NY. Oh, that was the perfect opportunity for me to not go to meetings and guess what happened? Yeppers, I drank again.
But when I came back, people were VERY happy to see me and are glad I'm back.
It don't always go my way, but no one said it was going to.
Thanx for posting.