Hello again Bobby,
I'm HAPPY to start over, glad I have another chance at it. It was hard for me to take that long walk up to get a white chip, very humbling. I didn't want to but I did anyway. On the way back to my chair people were shaking my had telling me how happy they were to see me. That made it all worthwhile. When they asked if there were any newcomers I raised my hand so folks would know I need them.
I go to the 5:30 meeting every day after work because thats when I had my first drink of the day normally, not counting the one I had to have in the mornings to stop the shakes. It really helps me to go right after work,no stops at home to think about not going. Then I stop and get something to eat and it's almost bed time.
I just started reading 86-88 in the big book in the morning and in the evening. I read other parts of the bb too in the evening so I can just get out of my daggum head. If only I could reach up there and change the tape out and put in a happy, joyous free one. I know that those feelings are not going to come unless I work the steps. I'm crazy up there in my head and I can justify a homicide so I want to do what it takes to change my thinking.
I will be praying for you, Bobby. We don't have to suffer any longer.
Hugs to you