- A belief which practically every alcoholic has...

A belief which practically every alcoholic has...




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Postby Toast » Sun Aug 21, 2011 7:52 am

Couldn't agree more Keith.

Using a tree or a coffee pot in place of God makes the serenity prayer sound ridiculous!

' Coffee pot grant me the serenity.......!' :lol:
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Postby Dallas » Sun Aug 21, 2011 11:19 am

Toast -- I thought I was the only one who did that stuff? And, here I was in Los Angeles, and you were in Scotland? We must have something in common! :lol:

I'm w/ you Keith, I love this discussion! There's nothing I'd rather do more than sit w/ my sober AA friends and talk and listen! It seems to fill a hole inside of me that nothing else fills.

KB wrote:My brother never accepted God because of his deep hate for anything related to God. I cannot say that this lead him to die drunk. I do know that he used the God part as an excuse to not go to AA.


My brother used the opposite excuse. Every time he got in trouble he'd run and get his bible, go to Jesus, and run around preaching to everyone and anything -- even the church... "Repent and get the Lord like I did!" -- He'd say that in AA we were Anti-God and denying Jesus, so he didn't want any part of it. He died in one of his "in-betweens"... With his bible, he went out got drunk and overdosed on pills which landed him in a coma and died.

I do love God -- and I also remember what it was like to be a newcomer, that had raging anger at God and anything that appeared to be religious. I later realized that the reason I was so angry at God was -- I had believed what other people told me about God, and I figured that "If that's what God is like I want no part of Him, His heaven, His people, or His religions!"

Sometimes -- I just want to puke when I sit in a meeting and listen to some (not all) of the people that want to preach and recruit and tell us how Spiritual they are and how they know it all and if we don't think, act, believe, and do "as they say to do" -- we're unrecovered -- unlike them, because they've been restored to perfection! :lol: I know what these same people do, and what they are like when they are NOT IN A MEETING and when they think that no one is watching them! And, it fits so well, where our book talks about "most alcoholics live a double life" they want people to think about them a certain way, yet they don't deserve to be thought of that way.

And, about the only thing we can do about it is laugh and say to ourselves "some really are sicker than the others!" :lol:

Unfortunately -- most newcomers haven't learned about them yet. They don't know what to do, so they either leave, or get sucked up into something that isn't going to do much of anything in regards to "learning how to live sober."

AA and with the help of the AA fellowship and a sponsor is where I "learned to live sober." It's where I learned the ACTIONS that I must take to maintain my sobriety, and to be happy with my sobriety -- regardless of what I believe about God, religion, anti-religion, pets, mechanics, refrigerators or anything else! It's not a program based upon my believing it's a program that's about my ACTIONS. The most important thing being "What am I do-ing?" and NOT "what am I believing".

There is only one MUST thought that I must maintain... and that thought is: "I am an alcoholic -- therefore, I cannot drink." And, I MUST be willing to go to any lengths to take any actions -- so that I don't drink. If I do that -- I stay sober and as a result of that -- I end up happy and peaceful and comfortable while sober -- regardless of what I think, feel or believe.

Did I go too far there? :lol: Nothing like opening an Old Window and a gush of wind rush in and mess everything up! :lol:
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Postby Toast » Mon Aug 22, 2011 1:33 pm

No Dallas i dont think you went too far but then again its a good job this chairs a rocker so i could bounce right back after being blown away by your post! :shock:

Storms are good for us, my religious buddy says that God's in the storm clouds not the blue skys. No one looks into a blue sky for God, not many people pray when things are going well. But when there's a storm brewing we always take stock and find stuff we want to hang onto and stuff we can toss over the side. For me this means abandoning my pursuit of worldy pleasures and getting my ass to an AA meeting. This is where i meet my fellow survivors. Then i emerge leaner, fitter and wiser than i was before and better equiped to face the next challenge. :wink:

I was told you dont build a ship to leave it in the dry dock, you gotta get out in there in all conditions to see if it works. Thats what the programme means to me, staying afloat under all conditions. One drink, one bad judgement or one tirade of anger could put me under and this time i may not get back up. Today my ship is on a steady course and as long as i stay close to AA giving back what was freely given to me i'll surely reach the destination God had planned for me all along. 8)

On the subject of brothers i have six older brothers, 4 normal guys who do normal things and 2 who are in the grips of this terrible illness. They've both tried AA and both found theoretical loopholes that suited them just fine so now they're back out there drinking. One has just been released from hospital after his second six week stay for liver damage and boy was he sick, i've never seen anyone closer to death. But I've had to take a big step back, for years i've preached to them, shared with them and dragged them to meetings when they didnt want to go. It done me no end of harm and them not one bit of good. The more i got to know them and found out how they treated they're families the less i liked them. Even brotherly love has its limits. My sponsor told me to get out of there, leave them to their God and if it be his will they'll get sober. And besides no one listens to there kid brother anyway do they? :cry:

They say no one is too stupid to get sober but many people are too smart. That just about sums them up. All i can do is pray for them and go help someone who wants it. :)

Its true that God loves us the way we are, but he loves us far too much to leave us that way :wink:

Well thats my rant for the day, really enjoying this site second time round. God bless whoever dreamed it up! :lol:
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Postby Dallas » Mon Aug 22, 2011 1:46 pm

Toast wrote:They say no one is too stupid to get sober but many people are too smart. That just about sums them up. All i can do is pray for them and go help someone who wants it.


And, that's the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

My ideas were so smart -- I couldn't get sober or stay sober until I became willing to let go of my old ideas -- absolutely!

I was told early in AA -- that the only person I couldn't help would be a family member. It took me a long time to agree with this one -- but, so far, my experience and the experience I've observed w/ others, have convinced me that it's true.

I went on a thinking spree, asking myself "Why is it?" What I came up with was: God knew if we could help our family members -- we'd spend all our time helping our family members -- and not get out there helping others -- like He wants us to do. (Kind of like Noah, and his big boat?)
:lol:

Oh... about the pursuit of "worldly pleasures" .... but, but, but, but... I still like those things! :lol:

As always -- good to hear from you Toast!
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Postby Toast » Mon Aug 22, 2011 2:20 pm

:lol:
Last edited by Toast on Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Dallas » Mon Aug 22, 2011 5:28 pm

Gees, Toast! The more you write -- the more I identify! Slight differences, but I hear my story. Thank you so much for sharing. It means a lot to me. And, I sure feel a bond with you. I'm reaping the full benefits of "how it works" -- the magic that takes place as a result of one alcoholic talking to another! It feels as if it's some kind of magical healing elixir that starts moving around inside. Perhaps, that's the stuff we were looking for -- when we discovered alcohol. A synthetic substance -- that caused our minds to think in such a way that it produced a similar elixir -- that caused us to begin thinking things like "Man! This was my missing ingredient!" When, in reality, what we needed was to be able to find someone like ourselves -- who was experiencing the same things as we did -- and to be able to just sit and listen to them talk.

I think this is the same thing that the Pioneer's of AA discovered. That this is where the real magic is -- that works. It's not all these complex complicated theories that have become so popular these days, with the Step Study workshops, and someone teaching, preaching or lecturing about the Quantum Physics of recovery! :lol: Simply: the one alcoholic standing on a street corner waiting for a car load of alcoholics to drive by and pick him up and take him to a meeting. And, the talk that went on in the car on the way to the meeting -- and the talk that took place in the care on the way home. Hey... maybe we could coin a new phrase out of this... :lol: "90 round-trips in car full of alcoholics on the way to meetings -- in 90 days!" :lol: The Old-Fashioned Magic, of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Thank you, again, my friend!

Dallas
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Postby Toast » Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:23 am

Hey Keith,

Ah the cars, when drinking i was the last owner of every car i ever had! :lol:

Never drove a car where all the doors were the same colour till i got sober! :wink:

Now my best nights out are when we stick a pin in the map, cram the car full of sober AA's and head out on a sunday evening to somewhere new. We even do monthly curry nights where we head out for a good feed but we dont do buffet's, some of the guys still eat as fast as they drank and if we go to a buffet we're ready to go home after 10 minutes! :?

When we're out for a curry we play spot the alcoholic. There's maybe 12 to 15 guys go, some new some not so. We all sit and watch the waiter warn them 'not to touch the plate' as its too hot. Sure as eggs is eggs a nano second later someones running around the restaurant with blisters on their fingers! You just cant warn an alcoholic! :lol:

Be well! :wink:
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Postby Dallas » Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:45 am

Keith, with those cars -- someone might want what you've got and be willing to go to any lengths to get it! And, you'd have to fight them to keep it! :lol:

Ah, those 64 Comets and the 66 Mustangs! Fine cars! And, the one's that get all spiffed up are worth a few times more than what they cost new!

I can remember can when $3995 was a steep price for a new car! Now, they want $39,995 for a new car and where I live -- you can still find a fixer-up house for that much. :lol:

I can also remember when $450 was the max I'd go on a car. If they wouldn't come down to that price I'd leave it for someone else. Much better were the $300, and $150 cars. I'd buy those and tell everyone "Yep! I'm going to restore this to just like now and some day it'll be worth a lot of money!" And, people would say "well, why don't you spend $500 and not have to fix it up?" :lol: They just didn't understand! I needed that extra money for drinking! :lol: It got to where my thinking was when buying a car, "Let's see now? If I can get them down to my price... how much will that leave me for my drinking money?" :lol: So, if it had a door w/ a different color or was missing a bumper -- that made perfect sense to me!

When I was in my teens -- I'd wonder why my buddies cars weren't all beat up like mine. Then, I discovered that it was because their Uncle's knew about Bondo! :lol:

Next, I was spending more on Bondo than I was for buying the car!

As I became a little older and wiser -- I was able to grow from just being a teenage drunk, to being a "functioning alcoholic." Which meant "I don't care how much the car costs -- how much will my payments be?" And, as long as the monthy payment wasn't over what I used to spend to buy one of the old cars -- I'd buy it! I figured "Well, if I spend $300 or $400 on a car and it lasts me for two months -- why not buy a nice car and offer to pay $300 a month. I know I'll probably be a month late on my payments -- so, it will all work out end the end!" So, the first question to the car salesman, before closing the deal, "How much time after my payment is due -- will they come to look for the car and repo it?" :lol:

When he'd look at me funny, I'd say something like: "Well! I want to do business w/ a reputable company and not some cheapster who's going to repo my car if I'm 5 minutes late bringing the payment in!" (That way I could make him feel guilty for questioning my wisdom!) :lol:

It seemed like people were always trying to make me feel guilty about something to get me to change and do something different, or even just to make me feel bad about myself. After a few shots of whiskey, I'd suddenly become the Guilt King! And, go back to get revenge on them and make them feel guilty about something! :lol:

The next morning, I'd wake up w/ a hangover and full of remorse, and guilt from the way I treated everyone the day before -- as everyone would tip-toe around me in a moment-of-silence as they passed me, hoping not to set off World War III with me.

Finally, when the booze was killing me -- I try AA to get some help. And, what do they tell me? "Well. You're going to have to go back and make amends to all those people you harmed while you were drinking?"

And, I'm thinking "Oh no! Church isn't even this bad! At least I can go there, get forgiven without doing anything other than saying a prayer! And, then I can make them feel guilty if they bring it up to me, by telling them 'Well, God forgave me. I guess you're better than God and not going to forgive me?' ." :lol:

And, with church -- I wouldn't even have to stop drinking!

Suddenly, I'd seem to remember... "Uh hello Dallas? Anyone home in your head this morning? The deal is that you WANT to STOP drinking, right?" --- "Ah phewy! Danged AA's get me over a barrel and make me do crap that makes no sense and God and the church wouldn't even make me do it! ... But, I have to do it so I don't take the next drink. Damn! That sucks!" :lol: :lol:
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Postby Toast » Wed Aug 24, 2011 5:21 pm

It would be fair to say that driving beat up old cars has a lot in common with living an alcoholic lifestyle. :?

You travel up the street with bits falling off everywhere and folks are pointing, some laughing, some are shocked that your still on the road in that condition. You ignore all the rules of common sense, become a danger to the general public and leave a trail of pollution in your wake. But you don’t care, your all warm and comfortable inside, heading in a direction of your choosing at a speed your comfortable with and your favourite tunes are playing in you head so you don’t notice what’s going on outside. ‘What’s all the fuss?’ You snarl as you ask yourself, ‘what are they all looking at? Oh I know (here it comes) they’re just jealous cause they aint got what I’ve got!’ (A mental illness, a sickness not a badness) :o

Around here you sometimes hear the 12 Steps referred too as the Highway Code. That’s the laws of the highway you must learn before you’re allowed a driving licence, before you get to hit the road on your own. It’s a good analogy, before AA puts us back on the road we must learn to respect other road users and learn how to avoid trouble and other life threatening situations. These are all things I never knew, I could drink and get into trouble even in my own company! And all the biggest scrapes I ever got into in my life were all booze inspired attempts at aggrandisement. :(

Thankfully AA changed all that. No longer do I try and take over and assume control of every place I work or socialise, or every colleague, friend or family member I’ve ever socialised with. No longer do I go to ‘any lengths’ just to get ‘ ME’ noticed, to be ‘ RIGHT’ at any cost no matter the consequences to those around me. Remember this is a guy who had bricks thrown through his house windows after doing a good job of humiliating and proving some guys wrong in a bar. But I wasn’t home at the time, just my wife and kids, being a conceited alcoholic I’d moved on to another bar to drink the wine of success and blow my trumpet even louder! Today I often I have to ask myself, ‘just how important is this?’ :shock:

At my first ever meeting the guy doing the share said he loved the anonymous side of AA. He told how he loved just walking down his own street whenever he wanted, leaving home any time he wanted and not trying to avoid or body swerve anyone. That’s also what I wanted, I used to have it but slowly, sickly and bit-by-bit it had been taken from me by my alcoholism. And the funny thing was I never ever noticed it was gone until I heard that guy talk about it that night? :lol:
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12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - A belief which practically every alcoholic has...