Whenever I'm thinking or acting in terms of me is me... it's my character defect.
And, the unfortunate thing of doing -- is that I learn how to do -- after I've done what I did.
After I completed all 12 Steps, and had the Awakening that comes about as a result of "doing all 12 Steps"... I went back to review what I had done and learned about "how to do it"... with a new understanding and a new enlightenment of "what to do next."
Here is an example: After I finished all 12 Steps and had the Awakening, one day I was studying more about Step 3. And, I discovered that everything I needed to know was in the info in Step 3, pages 60-63.
Example: Where do all my wrongs and character defects come from? "they arise out of my Self."
Well. What the heck did that mean? For me, it could only mean one thing, and I didn't know that there was two choices.
1. Either I'm all bad and everything that comes out of me is bad. (which is what I once believed)
2. My Self is not really me.
Meaning: My Self... is not who and what I thought I was. I am more than just me. I am more than the "Self" that I think I am, and I'm not the Self that I was thinking I was.
In other words... "me" is mine and "my self" is my self. That's an example of where my thinking was in error.
My conscious thoughts about me... separate me... from you. Conscious separation. That's my Ego. My ego is what my head thinks is me. And, as a result of living my life with my Ego in charge... I was always looking out for me and my best interest... because you... were you and not me... so, sometimes you got in my way, or you didn't do the things that I thought you should do, and when you did do them, you didn't do them like I thought you should have done them.
So, either you were out to get me, or I was out to get you. Why? Because the early bird gets the worm. I've got to be first so that I can win, or get the most, or even struggle to get whatever I get, before you get it!
Conscious separation. That's the source of all my character defects.
How does conscious separation manifest itself? It does this in terms of "thinking about my Self" and that causes me to be self-ish. Self-seeking. I want it done my way. Self-centered. It's all about me.... the world and everything that goes on... "goes on around me" at the center of the world. That means I'm Ego-(self identity)-tistical - (what I think are the facts). My ego is in charge of "my perception of life" because it's in charge of me and mine.... because it is "who I think I am."... when I'm thinking in terms of "I am".
That's when I get angry or resentful. "You didn't do it FOR me you did it FOR YOU!
And, it hurt or harmed me.... so I'm going to step on your toes because you stepped on my toes!
In Step 3, it reads "we thought well before taking this Step". I thought what I thought -- when I took Step 3, and after my thinking was changed at Step 12, I could see what I was supposed to be thinking well about in Step 3!
So, then, when I looked at Step Six... what I later learned about Step Six, was not the same thing that I knew about Step Six when I took Step Six...
What I learned later was what I learned later. I was acting on faith. I didn't really know what or how to do it -- until after I did it. So, I did what was in front of me, the way that I did it, and I discovered that it got me to where I got to -- and it worked.
If I were where you are, in my questions about my character defects for Step Six, I would go back and read pages 61-63 and "think well" on those things, and those experiences that Bill writes about... and ask myself "in what way do I do that?"
Make a list of all those things that you discover in the info for Step 3, and title the list as "What needs to change about me?"
Then, you'll know what you are asking "God to remove" from you, in Step Six... (that is, in case you want to know it before you take Step Six).
Self is not the problem. The problem is "the Thinking About Self"... and the Thinking About Self... is where I found the root to all my problems and character defects.
Self-ish, as it's used in our book is not about "being a Scrooge or Tightwad".
It's about thinking about "me". (Meaning, you thinking about you. And, doing things based upon "because you is you and me is me"). Conscious separation.
I hope that helps in your discovery.