- What is the REAL alcoholic insanity?

What is the REAL alcoholic insanity?

Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

What is the REAL alcoholic insanity?

Postby Dallas » Thu Nov 24, 2011 6:28 am

REAL alcoholic insanity? It has NOTHING to do with thinking about drinking. It's happens when life and sobriety is good. When I don't even want, or crave, or think about drinking. ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA OF DRINKING ENTERS MY MIND and the next thing I know is: I've already been drinking.

It most often occurs when an alcoholic has been sober for a long period of time and they NO LONGER EVEN THINK ABOUT DRINKING AND THEY NO LONGER EVEN WANT A DRINK!

It most often happens when life is going good. Relationships are good. Job is good. And, NO PROBLEMS are going on!

It's NOT the alcohol or drinking that is so cunning, powerful or baffling... "It's the "ALCOHOL-ISM, that's cunning, powerful and baffling"

Alcohol is a substance. Alcohol-ISM is a condition of mind and body.

The alcoholic's body has an ABNORMAL reaction to alcohol. And, the most dangerous period of the alcoholic's mind is when it "doesn't even think about drinking!"

So, if you're a SOBER alcoholic, and life is going good, and you NO LONGER EVEN THINK ABOUT DRINKING... just remember... that's the most dangerous time for you.

For me... this is why I MUST keep active in a program of sober living. This is WHY I must continue to try to help other alcoholics. This is WHY I must remain active in a Fellowship of Recovering Alcoholics, like AA.

Dallas B.
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Postby Pebbles » Thu Nov 24, 2011 12:05 pm

Thank you for posting this Dallas. It's a reminder of why I must never forget what it was like.....working with others keeps me reminded of where I came from, and where I can go. My disease is always in the background, doing push ups. Cunning, baffling, and powerful....
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Postby Toast » Fri Nov 25, 2011 3:51 pm

Good topic.

Was never one to swear off booze after a disaster. I always came too after the storm and said ' I’d better go get a small drink and think about this?' Not that my thinking was doing me much good back then. :?

I know that ' Elation' will get me drunk, good times, great feelings, times of immense joy, that's when I’m at my most vulnerable. :P

Years back one of my kids came home from school with a big shiny silver sports trophy, i was no overwhelmed with pride i automatically searched under the kitchen sink for some whiskey to fill the cup and have a toast! Fortunately after being in AA a number of years by then i had none. But it sure gave me a fright when i thought about it later on. :twisted:

Guess thats why i still go to meetings, just to keep my feet on the ground. And I like changing meetings every 3 to 4 years. That way i have to put myself at the end of the line and start all over again. I also have to build new friendships, give and get new phone numbers and share my experience, strenght and hope with a bunch of strangers. Thats where the courage comes in. The day i'm too scared to say what i feel in front of my fellow AA's i'm finished as a going concern in recovery. 8)

Also i'm glad i still do go to meetings, this year is my 17th year of continuous soberiety and i've learned more in this last year than the previous 7 years put together. Made lots of changes that allowed this growth to come about, some of these changes were not my decision but a power great than myself obviously decided the time was right to move on. I changed groups, hobbies, reading material, not changed jobs but my role in the workplace has changed. I'm 50 now and as far as good feelings go this is my best year yet. :lol:

I know lots of AA's who stop coming around after a milestone year, say 10 years of soberiety. But to stop coming then after all AA has given us just shows how immature and self centred we can still be. :)

I'm glad i know I'll always be a patient in AA. :lol:

I'll just keep coming till the day they invent a TV with 2 remotes! :lol:
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Postby Pebbles » Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:21 pm

Oh thank you for sharing Toast! Just recently I've been leaning towards changing home groups. The one I've had is the one my husband got when he sobered up, and so it was 'assumed' that I'd join it too, which I did. But it never really felt like a home group to me- most times the meetings are more like a family reunion than a meeting of sharing about the problem and the solution for the problems.
I started praying and meditating about it and there's a meeting I go to twice a week that needs more home group members-and that meeting feels "right" to me-so I joined it.
The program is about change-if nothing changes, then the insanity returns. I know that alot of people think of step 10 as being a maintenance step. If I maintain-I'm only staying the same. I need to keep growing and changing in this program-otherwise I stay the same-and to stay the same, is to die.
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Postby Dallas » Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:53 pm

I've often heard the term "replay the tape" when referring to past actions and thinking something through. While I thoroughly agree with thinking things through and using our personal history of the past to guide us in our current or future activities -- my problem is: I have blank spots on my tape. :lol:

I can be thinking something through -- and all is well until I come to those blank spots in the tape, or... the tape seems to have been edited and key parts have either been removed or changed to something that was totally different than what actually happened.

This is just one of several reasons that I try to keep someone or a few someones in my life that are familiar with my past. They can bring up things that I either forgot or changed my mind about how something actually happened.

When I fully understood this about myself -- it made the "powerless over my alcohol-ism" much more understandable to me.

On change: I believe that everything in the Universe is constantly changing. It's either growing and increasing or it's dying and diminishing. Nothing seems to actually remain the same. It may be getting better it may be getting worse -- or it may not be a "better or worse" it's just simply changing. (Like water: it vaporizes and then condenses).

One of the best things I did for myself was to work at making "change" something positive in regards to my attitude about change and to find a way to most the time, regard change as "good for me" regardless if I understood it at the moment or not.

Example: Previous relationships of the past that changed. Some, when they changed left me feeling devastated. Then, on down the road of time, I looked back and saw how -- if the relationship had not changed -- I would have missed out on some of the greatest things that ever happened in my life. Of course, it didn't seem that way during the time of the change. It was totally heartbreaking to me during the change. It's the looking back with hindsight where I could see the value and how beneficial the unwanted change was for me.
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Postby Bobby D » Sat Nov 26, 2011 4:10 pm

WOW..very timely post for me... and evidence my higher power is looking over my shoulder.... Celebrated 90 days yesterday.. feeling pretty good.. even shared in the meeting that for the first time... ( this is my third time making it to 60 days ) ... that I felt no compulsion to drink.... soooo sitting here.. preparing a nice dinner for me and my wife... and out of no where comes the thought..a glass of wine woudl be good with this meal...then I start thinking .. you know there's no such thing as A glass of wine or anything for you... next thought was.. a bottle just this once cant possibly hurt me...I got as far as grabbing the keys and heading towards my car.. stopped went back in the house.. back out again.. truly torn... Decided if I wnet to the liquer store for wine I'd surely pick up a pint of Beam too and realized it's just not worth it.. still on edge I logged in here ( haven't been to this site for a couple months ) and I read this... WOW.. hit home

THANKS....4:00 now and I'm heading to a meeting at 6:00

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Postby Dallas » Sat Nov 26, 2011 8:17 pm

Thanks for sharing. I understand.

Did you ever take the time to consider that the Big Book is full of most of it's information for alcoholics that "are sober, and are not even thinking about drinking, because they don't even want a drink"?

Yep. It's true. After reading the book several times -- I've firmly come to the conclusion that the Big Book was mostly written for us SOBER alcoholics.... to REMIND US and to INFORM us... that our greatest danger comes when we've reached the place in sobriety where: "we don't even think about drinking." And, yet... we'll walk into a meeting and share, or share w/ someone else, as if "Man! I've really whipped this drinking thing and I'm doing so great that -- I don't even think of drinking!" (And, we think & hope that it really does mean that we are doing so good enough to get us a pat on the back, too!) :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Then, and only then » Tue Dec 27, 2011 1:29 am

Truly an excellent topic. Thank you. Staring right into the eyes of the beast! I identify from the bottom of my heart.

The book describes perfectly, 'Not a cloud in the sky, suddenly the thought occur, it would be nice to have...' I am scared of blue sky with no cloud. I do really. Look what I did, see how far I have came, it was truly a blessing after all, what a grace, what a grace for a drunk like me, my standing restored, reasonably free from the fear of people and money, manageable high quality and on going weight of life, then out of no where, the thought occur. It would be nice.

Utter and complete powerlessness. That is what I have for that thought. My life is keep getting better even to the degree that I get used to and expect to. A complete change in my outlook.

I feel like I got this urge to misery. I must satisfy this thirst whether I acknowledge it or not. If I don't get my share from my sponsee's or others, I will creat one in my life. Also, my addiction seems to move into other areas. I know I am addicted to meetings. I did not believe obsessive and compulsive attributes of my personality until recently. Alcoholic is much, much worse than what I thought.

With all these insanity, why am I not drinking? H.P. I dunno how it works. Gave up figuring it out. I did not tap into to some power greater than myself, all I did was come into to the rooms of AA, tell the truth about me. The truth was only possible because all my score cards read zero and I ran out of all my self reliance. Something tapped into my life, and it is growing.

It overruns to other ares of my life. I have changed. I still and will have most of my sins and shortcomings. Sometimes, they are so glittering that they overshadow the Grace in my life. Inevitably, the pain comes back, and beats me into submission. I accept that is life.

Snow chance in hell, that is what I got without my H.P. Insanity? I got. When is He Gina restore my sanity? It says, came to believe, I got it. It did not say will restore, but can restore. Maybe He will never. Does it matter? Or can I do anything about that? I accept the fact not because the goodness of my heart, but simply there isn't a single thing I can do. I am absolutely powerless over my insanity.
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Postby sunlight » Tue Dec 27, 2011 9:40 pm

Thank you all for pounding this home.

Then, and only then - I love the way you express yourself. It wrenches my heart and brain to a new place. Thank you.
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Postby Toast » Wed Dec 28, 2011 1:36 pm

As its the holiday season i was approached in the street by a man carrying a bottle of beer. Guess he was lonely and just wanted someone to talk to. But i can honestly say when i got a smell of the beer my stomach wretched at the very thought of putting that stuff in my system. I had to walk away before i threw up all over him. :?

And i sincerely hope it stays like that for many years to come. :lol:
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