- Step 3

Step 3




12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.

Step 3

Postby sparklek » Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:56 am

Krystal, alcoholic. I have been working with a new sponsor and am having a brand new experience with the Steps. I found myself willing to be more honest and even willing to let go of something I really was trying to control. As I sit and contemplate Step 3 I just want to ask the group if you think it is possible to take your will back once you intially hand "your will and your life over to the care of God as we understood Him" or do you think there are certain parts we just don't hand over in our first attempts at this Step. I find myself much more thoughtful before taking this Step again as I realize I simply did not even know what it would really look like to practice Step 3 in "all of my affairs." Any thoughts???
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Postby butch » Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:00 am

Butch, alcoholic. For me acceptance and surrender are what i have to do on a daily basis to remain sober, so i must turn my will over to Him, remembering that He puts nothing in front of me that together God and i cannot handle, one day at a time.
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Postby sassyme » Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:35 pm

Butch, I like that reply very much and hope for the same in my life!
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Postby cue » Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:21 pm

I look at it this way. Since I took the 3rd step my hp is responsible for the "care" of my will and life, no matter what I think. There are times where I act like I'm the boss but thats just cos I forget and that's alright cos my hp is still caring. My hp knows what I'm like and my own self-inflicted pain of being in control soon makes me remember.
I check in and continue to develop a relationship on a daily basis with the hp, but the deal was made and it was a big deal for me. I don't need to remind the hp about it. He owns me. Sure, I can see the benefit of reminding myself about it, so I understand when people talk about doing it every day, so whatever works :lol: .
Was I aware of what I was handing over when I did it? Probably not fully, but I did my best with what I had. The rest is unfolding as I go along under the care of my hp.
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Postby Dallas » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:37 pm

I just want to ask the group if you think it is possible to take your will back once you intially hand "your will and your life over to the care of God as we understood Him" or do you think there are certain parts we just don't hand over in our first attempts at this Step.


Regardless of how earnest, serious, determined and committed that I was in making my 3rd Step Decision -- it's still only a DECISION. I haven't actually done anything other than to "say" I was going to turn my will and life over to the care of God.

IF I was sincere, in my decision, and I'm using the instructions in the Big Book for taking the Steps.. my decision, though vital, will have little effect UNLESS I immediately follow it with the actions of taking Steps 4 through 9.

I think we have to back up and ask "What's my objective? What am I attempting to do?" For me, I found this answer in Step 12. I need to have a Spiritual Awakening. A specific TYPE of Spiritual Awakening -- that comes about as THE result of taking these previous Eleven Steps.

I believe we actually have the Spiritual Awakening when we get to Step 10. Our book says that "we have entered the world of the Spirit" when we get into Step 10. However, in this same Step... it tells us that we've actually only just begun... and that there is still much more action to do!

I also made a DECISION to SURRENDER in Step 3. I put up the White Flag, but I haven't done anything yet.... other than put up the White Flag. The Surrender takes place, according to the instructions in the Big Book -- by taking Steps Four through Nine. By Step 10, our Obsession is removed. Our insanity has been removed. We have been RESTORED to acting sanely and normal. We've experienced a transformation.

Step 10... taking it daily, has the daily effect of Steps 1 through 9, and we repeat the processes that we learned in Steps 4 through 9... all throughout our day. This is the "One Day At A Time" Program (Steps 10 through 12).

So, we're not prepared to live the One Day At A Time Program unless we have TAKEN Steps 4 through 9. That lays the foundation and gives us the training and knowledge of what we MUST do each day.

The reason why we must continue to "practice these principles" in all our affairs (the 12 Steps = the Principles) is: we must constantly surrender, every day, every moment, for the rest of our lives... in ALL parts of our life -- new and old. Thus, we are continually surrendering.

Dallas B.
Last edited by Dallas on Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Dallas » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:44 pm

btw: If you'll read the text for Step 10 in the Big Book, you'll notice that: "We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use
of the will." For me, that indicated that God had over-hauled my will and has returned it to me, and that there is a proper way to use my will and my will power.
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Postby sparklek » Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:44 am

Thank you! As my sponsor says, "you are not powerful enough to take your will back from God." This idea comforts me. I have been willing to follow through after Step 3 and my life has changed. I think my expectation of myself if too high and when things go "wrong" I think I did something wrong. In fact, maybe I was doing exactly what I was suppose to do. Thanks all!
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Postby Serenity Seeker » Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:53 pm

Dallas wrote:
I just want to ask the group if you think it is possible to take your will back once you intially hand "your will and your life over to the care of God as we understood Him" or do you think there are certain parts we just don't hand over in our first attempts at this Step.


Regardless of how earnest, serious, determined and committed that I was in making my 3rd Step Decision -- it's still only a DECISION. I haven't actually done anything other than to "say" I was going to turn my will and life over to the care of God.

IF I was sincere, in my decision, and I'm using the instructions in the Big Book for taking the Steps.. my decision, though vital, will have little effect UNLESS I immediately follow it with the actions of taking Steps 4 through 9.

I think we have to back up and ask "What's my objective? What am I attempting to do?" For me, I found this answer in Step 12. I need to have a Spiritual Awakening. A specific TYPE of Spiritual Awakening -- that comes about as THE result of taking these previous Eleven Steps.

I believe we actually have the Spiritual Awakening when we get to Step 10. Our book says that "we have entered the world of the Spirit" when we get into Step 10. However, in this same Step... it tells us that we've actually only just begun... and that there is still much more action to do!

I also made a DECISION to SURRENDER in Step 3. I put up the White Flag, but I haven't done anything yet.... other than put up the White Flag. The Surrender takes place, according to the instructions in the Big Book -- by taking Steps Four through Nine. By Step 10, our Obsession is removed. Our insanity has been removed. We have been RESTORED to acting sanely and normal. We've experienced a transformation.

Step 10... taking it daily, has the daily effect of Steps 1 through 9, and we repeat the processes that we learned in Steps 4 through 9... all throughout our day. This is the "One Day At A Time" Program (Steps 10 through 12).

So, we're not prepared to live the One Day At A Time Program unless we have TAKEN Steps 4 through 9. That lays the foundation and gives us the training and knowledge of what we MUST do each day.

The reason why we must continue to "practice these principles" in all our affairs (the 12 Steps = the Principles) is: we must constantly surrender, every day, every moment, for the rest of our lives... in ALL parts of our life -- new and old. Thus, we are continually surrendering.

Dallas B.


My sponsor and I are getting ready to take the "official" Third Step Prayer together. The last time I did this I felt nothing. I did not fully understand it. It was not very earnest. I still thought "I" was to do this. I can see this today. Today I feel my HP and see my HP working in my life because I have been practicing the Third Step as best I can on a daily basis not on an "I" basis. I have to disipline myself at times... but the results are so wonderful inside from doing this. My sponsor has agreed that I can write my own Third Step prayer on the same basis of the book. For me this is great... because it makes me feel more like it is my turning over my will not a repeated prayer. Hope that is okay.

But anyway Dallas as always love your experience, strength and hope. Your words place the action needed so strongly and simply. So, games and fear is over... as soon as I take this Third Step officially it is time to take ACTION. No messing around this time for me. I am serious about my sobriety today.
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Postby Serenity Seeker » Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:55 pm

sparklek wrote:Thank you! As my sponsor says, "you are not powerful enough to take your will back from God." This idea comforts me. I have been willing to follow through after Step 3 and my life has changed. I think my expectation of myself if too high and when things go "wrong" I think I did something wrong. In fact, maybe I was doing exactly what I was suppose to do. Thanks all!


Thanks for sharing that! That is me!!! I needed to hear that.
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Postby Camel » Wed Dec 21, 2011 1:20 pm

God gave us free will. I can take my will back, and do sometimes. After working the Steps to the best of my ability, and trying to practice these principles in all my affairs, I am now more aware of the consequences of that act of defiance. Practicing these priciples helps keep me in check with my old nature. I did not have that luxury in the old life. God helps me recognize this stumbling block now, through the Working Tools and Fellowship of Alcohoilics Anonymous. I think it says, "in God's hands, our dark past is the greatest possession we have." When I take it out of God's hands and put it in mine, I'm a drunk man, if I don't give it back to God.

Hub
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12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Step 3