Step Six

[Dallas]

Step Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character

I thought that I had something posted here for Step Six, and was surprised to discover that it wasn’t here. I received an email from someone requesting an outline of information on taking Step Six, and decided to post the basics of my reply here for now.

There is some good information about Step Six in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions... but, I don’t recommend it for someone who is taking the Twelve Steps for the first time.

The information in the 12 & 12 is good to use AFTER you have already completed taking the 12 Steps using the precise intructions in the Big Book, and you are now learning to “practice the Twelve Stepsâ€

[Tina L.]

Thanks for the great message about Step 6 Dallas.

Tina xoxoxo

[anniemac]

Thanks for taking the time to write this out, Dallas.

With all due respect to the BB and the directions for working the Steps, simply following the BB for this Step left me feeling as if I was going through the motions but not really feeling and meaning what I was saying.

I found a way that for me, helped me to determine if I was entirely ready to have defects removed. With my list of defects from the 4th Step, I paid attention to them one at a time, asking myself the following questions:

What circumstances trigger this behavior?
What (if any) underlies that behavior (i.e., being controlling is really a reaction to fear)?
What behavior could I use in its place (nature abhors a vacuum, gotta be ready with a different behavior)?

Once I am able to answer those questions, I stand a much better chance of truly being willing.

I'm not saying the BB doesn't have a perfectly wonderful method; just seems that I need some extra help!

[Dallas]

After I took the 12 Steps using the instructions in the Big Book... I started reading and enjoying Bill W.'s work on the 12 & 12.

I particularly like the way he wrote about Step Six in the 12 & 12. It gave me more food for thought that helped me to see some other ways that my core character defects were being manifested in different flavors in my life... That opened my eyes to a few things that had been causing me problems and helped me become willing to eliminate those, too. Now I like re-reading it because I seem to pick up on something that I either overlooked... or I become aware of some old stuff resurfacing... that needs to be hauled out.

Thanks for your message Anne. I like the list of questions that you shared. Very insightful. For the next couple of days I'll try it out and see how it fits.

Dallas

[Jim W]

I like Joe & Charlie's views on this step-that change is based on what I'm willing to get rid of, not what I'm going to get.

I also think this is where I really begin to make good on the deal I made with God in Step Three. That, after taking Step Seven and through the process of making amends and commencing to make 10, 11, & 12 a way of life, change happens.

I've also found both in the amends process, and in working with others, that God uses me as I am, not as think I ought to be and God uses what is at hand and sometimes uses me at my worst, not my best.
Jim

[Dallas]

Thanks Jim. I enjoyed your share!

Dallas

[Jim W]

Thank you as well Dallas. I also enjoyed reading what you wrote about this step. Sounds like our views and experience are similiar.
Jim

[Neosgyrl]

I want to respond to what Dallas has posted here. This is one of the best posts I've come across in a long while. This is exactly, exactly my experience. I so appreciated finding this here, as I was undergoing a bit of a new transformation and was pondering this very surprise when I stumbled across this website and this post. makes so much sense to me now that I have had some experience. Just wanted to say thanks!

Neosgyrl

[Dallas]

Thank you.