- Feeling connected: Sobriety n the good

Feeling connected: Sobriety n the good




Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

Feeling connected: Sobriety n the good

Postby Serenity Seeker » Sat Dec 03, 2011 8:09 pm

Hello fellowship family. Hope this topic finds you all doing well.

Things are looking up more and more and I truly believe that it is because my heart is looking up and reaching to earnestly turning over "my" will to hp; the troubles of my soul and letting him decide the results. Of course I have heard it will not always feel this good. But I am learning to teach myself gratitude, the next correct thought, action, prayer in time of distress and need. And wow you were right it does work if ya work it. Even just the simple prayers.

Today in my hometown womens meeting the topic was when things are going so good in sobriety what to think. A lady having a hard time shared that it is a direct result that this program works and is so wonderful that you can go to a meeting and discuss this topic. Who would figure? lol

The weird thing of it... I was in my car driving, just feeling this tremendous overwhelming feeling of connection to my hp and hearing my sponsor in my head saying: It will be okay, it will get better... just as long as you do not pick up that first drink. Words can not describe the peace I feel in my heart today, I actually instead of believe that hp is there... know in the deepest part of my soul he is: IF I reach for him. Yes, I agree he carries me when I can not carry myself, but oh the joy of an actual relationship with this "entity" I have searched for for so long. ):

I wanted to bring up the very same topic, but I said to hp... I think I will keep my mouth shut in case a newcomer needs to bring up a topic or you have something else for me to learn today. Go figure how he works... there the chairperson spoke my topic.

So, when things are going "bad" as I used to describe it is when I need to remember to reflect on grattitude and not making a mountain out of a molehill. But, I read on this forum that when things are going good it can also be dangerous for us. I can see this in me... I tend to demolish everything when it is so good, my old habits die hard. Can't feel good for too long, gotta mess it up! crazy kimmie

Today though the joy of things going good feels so different in my heart. Not going to try and figure it out or mess it up TODAY. Thanking God, the program, and myself for taking the actions needed to find this relationship.

So, in saving your eyes... would just like to hear some others takes on this if it makes any sense what I am blurting out.

Headed to a candlelight meeting. Have a good night.
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Postby sunlight » Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:42 am

What a refreshing post! Thank you.

Sounds to me like you are on the "pink cloud". I love it! I can just feel the joy and power and newness in your life coming right over the internet. People used to tell me that the pink cloud wouldn't last & to get ready for the let-down or "reality'. But they were wrong! :D I am still pink clouding, and it doesn't look like it's waning. I think it's chronic!

Sure, there are low points and sorrows, even tragedies, but underneath it all is this Power that's Higher than high, supporting me, strengthening me, guiding, loving me and even laughing with me. Once I experienced this, I wanted more, just like an alcoholic! It is so real ( the Great Reality )and strong and tender. There's really no words for it, but it comes as a result of the steps.

Whenever I get too giddy about sobriety, I go right to gratitude and then look for someone I can give to or help.
One of the reasons I love the Christmas season is I can give and love and sing and dance and nobody thinks I'm a nut! They just think it's holiday spirit. But those who know me know that I have a perpetual holiday Spirit! :mrgreen:

Not too sure if I answered your post, but you sure got me going! :wink:

Oh, and the same thing happened to me once. I went to a new meeting with my sponsor and there was a topic I was burning to discuss. She told me the protocol of that meeting was that the chairperson picked the topic. She said I could ask the chair if they would use my topic, but I decided to let it go. And sure enough! The chairperson's topic was the very thing I wanted to discuss! My sponsor was :shock:

I have more fun in sobriety than I had when I was a kid.
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Postby Dallas » Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:24 pm

Whatever it is that you are doing -- to produce those feelings -- KEEP doing it! :wink:

Those feelings are the result of "changing thoughts and attitudes."

We CAN take certain actions, that will change our thoughts & attitudes & cause us to feel the way you described. Kind of like "Wow! Can it get any better than this?"

The danger of feeling good -- for alcoholics, is: they STOP doing what they were doing that got them to feeling so goood. :wink: They stop doing what they were doing -- that got their life to be so good. And, after they stop doing what they were doing that got them into that good place -- (some, refer to it as: resting on our laurels)... they slide into a condition that was worse than what they had.

This is why we strive to continue to make spiritual progress. And, it's why it's so important to "continue doing what we're doing" that gets our life good.
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Postby sunlight » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:21 pm

Hey Dallas! That sounds like a topic! I'll start it pronto. :wink:
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Postby Serenity Seeker » Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:18 pm

Dallas and Sunlight you are truly God sent!!! I thank you so much for this website. I am serious about my sobriety at last, and can't seem to get enough of this wisdom that helps me learn the difference and learn how to finally live free from alcohol or any mind-altering substance.

Dallas I appreciate your simple ways of laying the facts out. I have a DALLAS WISDOM AND GUIDANCE PAGE started on my computer to re-read with repetition!!! ):

I am glad I was lead to this website. So happy to have you with me on this new way of life path.

So, would just like to share one more great thing of feeling connected. I hope I do not share to long on these; please let me know if I should keep it shorter. The thoughts and experience just flows out.

Today upon awakening I had a slew of things to do on my list. I opened the mail and found that a creditor that I had written to let them know I relaized I owed money and had every intention to send some as soon as I find new employment was taking some scary action. My old ways: ignore it! Worry, freak out, cry... and of course drink! Today, I first thought about it. So, for some odd reason I typed in my web browser... financial hardship. I clicked on a link that stated how to survive financial hardship, etc. I felt this was a right in my face talk from my higher power: Here are a few things that touched me and I hear in a way in the rooms on how to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Instructions:
Denial will only lead to further hardships, so acknowledge (admit powerlessness) that times are hard, finances are limited or gone (unmanageability) and recognize the situation for what it is.


However, financial hardship will affect each person physically, psychologically and spiritually. (key word: spiritually)


Spiritually, we may get stronger as we cling to our faith, (belief in a hp and reaching for that hp) or get weaker as we feel helplessly broken (old ways, worry). Knowing where weakness is (being aware of disease:defects) likely to manifest at its worst directs the area of help most needed. (my spitital condition)


Be hopeful and proactive (Taking actions through steps). Regardless of how you spent this day, the sun still hangs in the sky. 24 hours later, a new day is here and so are you. (One day at a time)Believe it or not, when you go to bed at night, that day is over and in the morning, a brand new slate is there for you. Surviving anything first requires a decision to survive. Being proactive is a very strong place to start on the road to surviving anything.


Taking small but determined steps (12 Steps of AA) that ultimately help, clarify or fix (identify) the problem leads to increasing hope, and hope is the most important ingredient for surviving.


Unburden (turn over to hp) (calling sponsor) you heart and mind by sharing the pain with someone who cares or will listen. Having a good friend, a therapist, or just having a good listener in your life is a strong resource at this time. Keeping it all in and hiding the problem and pain at the very least prohibits you from getting any help--or worse, increases the internal pressure on your spirit and your personality. This person may not be able to offer any direction or financial help and when you ask them to hear your pain, let them know up front you are not expecting them to be able to solve your problem, but you are asking them to hear you out. Sometimes, as you share the problem the answers begin to reveal themselves. Sharing the problem with a good listener sometimes feels as if you lightened the load you carry.

TIPS ON WEBSITE:

Have a safe place to escape to,(rooms of AA) whether imaginary or real. Visualizing is a strategy that can work regardless of your location. A cold room can become a warm beach with a focused imagination. However, when possible, go to the beach and find a quiet spot to meditate and quiet the storm in your mind.Don't numb the pain with drugs or alcohol.

Pain--though painful, causes an amazing, guaranteed human response--an urgent search for a solution. If we get burned, we seek to cool it. If we get cut we seek to bandage it. Drugs and alcohol are a route of escape for some going through financial hardship because the numbing effect leads to momentary forgetfulness. Forgetting does not allow the pain to go away so inevitably, the pain and the cause of the pain lingers long beyond what it might have, becoming even more complicated.

*After I read this I immediately told myself that prayer should be first on the list, not an hour after I get up. So, in finding this I truly felt God was trying to help me see that there is a solution and that is him. Not to sit and wallow in it... the answer, the steps have been laid out for me. All I have to do is take thorough action. I prayed. I then called my sponsor. Before I read my "spirital connection" I felt God sent me she stated atleast 4 things that I read on that page. I can feel my heart healing a little more each day. I will shut up now. Hope it makes sense.

Again, if my fingers are a little too winded please let me know.

Thanks again!!!!
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Postby Dallas » Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:55 am

This is great! Thank you for sharing it. And, thank you for your kind words, too! I appreciate you!
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Postby sparklek » Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:03 am

"Pain--though painful, causes an amazing, guaranteed human response--an urgent search for a solution. If we get burned, we seek to cool it. If we get cut we seek to bandage it. Drugs and alcohol are a route of escape for some going through financial hardship because the numbing effect leads to momentary forgetfulness. Forgetting does not allow the pain to go away so inevitably, the pain and the cause of the pain lingers long beyond what it might have, becoming even more complicated."

Thanks for that. I certainly need to remember that pain is useful because it does have a tendency to drive me to my knees. It takes me to the positive actions that help me to remember "This Too Shall Pass." Suddenly, like right now, I am not alone. I know my HP has me right where I need to be and I can rest. Yeah! Now I can rest :) Thanks all.
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Thank you!

Postby Serenity Seeker » Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:50 am

sparklek wrote:"Pain--though painful, causes an amazing, guaranteed human response--an urgent search for a solution. If we get burned, we seek to cool it. If we get cut we seek to bandage it. Drugs and alcohol are a route of escape for some going through financial hardship because the numbing effect leads to momentary forgetfulness. Forgetting does not allow the pain to go away so inevitably, the pain and the cause of the pain lingers long beyond what it might have, becoming even more complicated."

Thanks for that. I certainly need to remember that pain is useful because it does have a tendency to drive me to my knees. It takes me to the positive actions that help me to remember "This Too Shall Pass." Suddenly, like right now, I am not alone. I know my HP has me right where I need to be and I can rest. Yeah! Now I can rest :) Thanks all.


In my previous attempts to reach my HP I would pray in the car, smoking my morning cigarette... ect. I had always heard in the rooms others sharing that they hit their knees. In my head that was always the action to take with my beliefs. I guess I did not want it enough or still had reservations that I was in control and my will with a little reaching was enough. I then of course went back out after almost a year, and after coming back have placed all effort at the best of my ability (key of willingness) into action. I was reading on a website about history of AA somewhere and read that originally when Bill W closed meetings they
"hit their knees" in praying the serenity prayer at closing. I knew then if I were to find my HP I had to humble myself and hit my knees and lay it all out for him to help me. How amazing a simple act of willingness, meetings, people like you and hitting my kness with my heart makes such a difference in my life. I am so glad I don't have to take on the world on my own, figure it all out. I can just simply know God is there and will take care of me.

Hugs to you all. Can't wait to talk again.
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Postby Dallas » Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:19 am

Serenity Seeker wrote:have placed all effort at the best of my ability (key of willingness) into action


I like that! It's one of the best definitions of actual willing-ness that I've read.

When sitting and talking w/ my first sponsor, he asked me about being willing -- in regards to the Third Step. I replied "I don't know if I can do that!"

After we talked some more, he finally asked me a double-binding question: "Dallas, can you be willing to be willing, to be willing to be willing?" And, I replied: "I think I can do that!" :lol: (I also figured I'd really look like a real fool if I couldn't do that!) :lol:

Willing to grow: "have I placed all effort at the best of my ability into action?"

Willing to change: "have I placed all effort at the best of my ability into action?"

At times, "my ability" was so diminished -- that I needed the loving and helping hand of a sponsor, or an AA friend, that could guide me into taking baby steps, so that I could identify and determine "what my ability was" so that I could have a reasonable starting point -- and begin to place all of my best efforts towards that starting point "of action" -- which would move me forward. The key being ACTION. Am I do-ing something different? Am I using all my best effort -- towards the action that I need to take, to change? If yes, then I can say that I am indeed willing. Or, am I simply "thinking" that I am willing -- by thinking about being willing? The action and effort is the acid test that determines the true from the false.

Thanks for sharing it!
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Postby Serenity Seeker » Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:17 pm

Dallas wrote:
Serenity Seeker wrote:have placed all effort at the best of my ability (key of willingness) into action


I like that! It's one of the best definitions of actual willing-ness that I've read.

When sitting and talking w/ my first sponsor, he asked me about being willing -- in regards to the Third Step. I replied "I don't know if I can do that!"

After we talked some more, he finally asked me a double-binding question: "Dallas, can you be willing to be willing, to be willing to be willing?" And, I replied: "I think I can do that!" :lol: (I also figured I'd really look like a real fool if I couldn't do that!) :lol:

Willing to grow: "have I placed all effort at the best of my ability into action?"

Willing to change: "have I placed all effort at the best of my ability into action?"

At times, "my ability" was so diminished -- that I needed the loving and helping hand of a sponsor, or an AA friend, that could guide me into taking baby steps, so that I could identify and determine "what my ability was" so that I could have a reasonable starting point -- and begin to place all of my best efforts towards that starting point "of action" -- which would move me forward. The key being ACTION. Am I do-ing something different? Am I using all my best effort -- towards the action that I need to take, to change? If yes, then I can say that I am indeed willing. Or, am I simply "thinking" that I am willing -- by thinking about being willing? The action and effort is the acid test that determines the true from the false.

Thanks for sharing it!


I remember my first learning effort in willingness. I was so much trying to figure out HOW to turn the key. Of course thinking it was me that had to do all that. Today I see on page 13 just what the answer to the HOW is. It is HOW! lol Honesty open-mindedness and willingness. I had to get honest daily with myself and admit I am powerless over alcohol and mind altering substances. I then had to find an open mind that there is a power greater than myself, I always had that but never believed it was him that could actually restore me to sanity one day, then I had to be willing enough to reach for that higher power, daily.

WOW ON THE HOW Dallas!!! lol

Today, I am truly taking action with my heart instead of my head. And the program is proving to be true to "It works if ya work it"

On the other hand with your helpfull simple kits of laying it out you wrote:

Willing to change: "have I placed all effort at the best of my ability into action?"

I am doing that but have reservation that I am not due to not starting my fourth step. This has come up many times. My sponsor and I are meeting tonight, and I believe it is time to take that action. It will be hard to grasp new soil if I do not take the action to find the underlying causes of my defects. I am not so fearful today about it. I can reaffirm with positive instead of negative.

I would like to share one more thing about being connected. I was studying in the Bills Story with a guideline study I found online. Pg 14: Simple but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I MUST turn in ALL things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.

These were revilutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I FULLY accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serentity as I had ever known. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound.

I believe these are the words in my original post of Feeling connected described as Bill saw it. Amazing.

Have a good day.
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