A discussion of topics about relationships in Recovery
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My wife and I were married ten for ten years and after a two year separation finally divorced. I was sober for five years but never really in sobriety. I grew restless, irritable and discontent to the point that she could not take it any more. We eventually split up and all she asked was I go back to aa. Of course I felt she was the problem. She was always there through our separation for me, always told me she loved me and only wanted me to get sober. I did not go back to aa, I was stuck in my head. She finally divorced me. I moved to a new town and for the next year and a half went down hill. I am back in aa and have been for 3 months. We talked recently and told me the things she did Ie separation and divorce were in hopes that I would run back to aa. Our marriage was a very good on. She still says I treated her like a princess and was a very good husband. She just wanted recovery for me. She also told me that when I have a years recovery she would be willing to date me but that she was in a relationship presently with a man who has 25 years recovery and that it was not of a sexual nature.. I am still in love with her but she tells me she loves me but not in love with me. She calls and emails all the time but I find I am confused by the messages she is sending. This woman was and is the love of my life. My question is this, Should I tell her to call me a year and /or when she is single? Or do I try to work through the past which we do talk about and seems to bring clarity. The focus is on my recovery ( under any and all circumstances), but also need to clear the wreckage of the past. Any thoughts?
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