.... Well, Just remember that it was your "best" thinking that got you where you are now, and you can easily think yourself right out of the program and into a bottle so fast it's mind boggling. I know... I've done it.
I came to the program in 1992 after coming home from work to find my wife, my 7 month old son, and everything in our home except a bed, dresser, and my clothes....gone.
I didn't want to quit drinking, I just wanted to get my wife and child back.
I figured I could learn just enough program lingo, sayings, slogans, the secret handshake or anything I could use to convince Mrs Cravits that I was in the program and off the booze.
It didn't work and she divorced me... and I drank until I lost my business, my car, then my bicycle, and walked back in the rooms 2 years later broke, homeless, hungry, out of smokes, but thought I could still think my way around the steps and a few simple suggestions.... Back out I went and this time I actually died in a motel room and was brought back by paramedics who were standing over me high fiving each other, dripping sweat on me, laughing and telling me I was as "Blue as the blanket on that bed" when they got there. They had obviously been working on me for a while before getting me back.
After getting out of the hospital I drank what few bucks I had in my pocket and stumbled back into the rooms, and get this...still had too much pride to ask someone to sponser me. But something special happened that I wouldn't advise anyone else to wait around for, but this old biker came up to me and said do you want to live or die? I thought about it and said "Live".
He said ok. Where you live? I said in a boat parked on someones driveway. He laughed and said does the owner of the boat know your sleeping there? I said no... He laughed again and said lets go eat and I'll put you on my couch for two nights then you're going to ask people around here for 2 night stays on their couches until you can get to work and pay for a room.
In the meantime take this book and read the first 164 pages and highlight anything that you can relate to, then well discuss it. "Still want to live"? Yes I said.
He said then I'm taking you through the steps. We're doing it out of the book and you get one week on step 1...one week in step 2....two weeks on step 3....and in 4 weeks I'll start you on your fourth step and you'll have 2 weeks to get it done, then well do 5, together and I'll give you your list of defects pulled from your 5th step, then you do 6 & 7 that same day and save the names from your fourth step for your 8 step and you'll burn the rest after were done. And if you don't do this I'll let you go and you can go back to what you were doing.
I did what he told me to do until we got to my ninth step and then he told me the 9th ill be doing for quite some time as well as 10,11, & 12 the maintenance steps, for the rest of my life. He then told me to find another sponser, that he was a temp and only works with newcomers.
That guy changed my life and I'll never forget him.
So, anyway...don't think too much.
" You can't think yourself into better acting, but you can act yourself into better thinking."