Acceptance? What does it mean in sobriety and recovery?

[Dallas]

Acceptance? What does it mean in recovery terms?

Acceptance, as we use the word in recovery, does not mean that you approve of something -- it simply means that you ACKNOWLEDGE -- that it is, what it is.

If I were to say, "I accept that I am an alcoholic" it doesn't mean I approve of being an alcoholic. It simply means that I ACKNOWLEDGE -- I am what I am -- a person that has alcoholism. I'm not fighting or resisting the acknowledgement.

[Then, and only then]

I believe there are more to it then acknowledgement. Maybe, I would like to since I can not. It is one of the biggest pill to swallow in this path. I would like to think there must be peace comes with acceptance.

I love to complicate things, and tied up with a single word instead of the whole picture. When I accept things, I understand the whole situation or issues with my head, and also surrender to the fact with me heart. The end result would be to arrive at peace with the fact regardless of my likings.

I did not understand my true malady. I thought I was powerless over alcohol. And when I take it, I wake up the other guy. I thought that was the extent of my insanity. It has been over three years. It is not much, but it is more than enough time to remove chemical imbalance, and some of my behaviors. Where does this feelings come from? Why, time to time, out of the blue, not a cloud in the horizon, this thought occur? Why do I have these emotional blank spots, without any apparent reason, which only alcohol and AA can fill?

I don't even think I understand the true meaning if this malady. It is much, much worse and fundamental to my soul. I am hopeless without AA. If it is only disease, at least it's symptoms has to decrease. It seems it is sprouting out in other areas of my life.

The hole in my soul, soul sickness. I amplifies, and I am scared. There is not much I can do but go to the meetings. I am not recovering. I am getting a relief. A daily reprive.

Do I accept the fact? The whole picture of alcoholism and the fact that I got it? Somedays I can, somedays I can not look at the whole picture. One day at a time, truly is.

[Dallas]

I can accept the fact that I am hungry.
If I don't eat -- after a few days, the hunger will go away.
Then, after that, if I don't eat -- I will die.

I can accept the fact that I am thirsty.
If I don't drink water -- the thirst will NOT go away.
Then, after that, -- I will die.

IF I WANT to die -- yes, there may be some peace in my hunger & thirst that I accept.

But, I don't want to die.

I can accept the fact that I am alcoholic.
If I do nothing about it, regardless if I am drinking or sober --
my alcohol-ism will kill me.

I don't want to let something kill me -- when there is something I can do about it.

I want to live. I want to be sober. I want to be happy and at peace and comfortable -- while sober. I want a reasonably good life. I want to be sane.

When I say "Sobriety" it means MORE than just physically sober.

Physically sober -- I have a choice, today:

1. I can live and die a miserable death, physically sober.

2. I can live a good life, a happy and useful life -- physically sober.

The choice is up to me. I accept that.

What will my choice be? #2.

I already know, based upon my factual history and experience -- that for me: Being physically sober, and going to hundreds of AA meetings -- will not give me #2.

I already know, based upon my factual history and experience -- that for me: that to have #2, requires me to do something other than -- just being physically sober and going to AA meetings.

Going to meetings will not fix me. I've tried that before. It may fix "other types" of alcoholics. I don't doubt this. But, I am of a type, that meetings will not do it for me. I have to do something more than meetings.

I could not be at peace, with accepting that I have alcohol-ism -- and not do something about it. I could not be at peace, with accepting that I had cancer -- and not do something about it.

[cue]

My take on acceptance is just that I quit fighting (and by that I mean sulking when things don't work out the way I want them to) and get on with doing what needs to be done. Bill had a pretty interesting piece on it in the Grapevine, I think, where he describes it as quite an active energetic way of living where you stand up for what you believe in and then let it go just as enthusiastically.

[care4sober]

For me, acceptance means facing the reality of our situation and seeking help. It also means saying to yourself "I'm tired of alcoholism and I want a better life and I'll do something about it no matter how hard it is."

[dimples12562]

Today acceptance simply means, "Your will Lord, not mine" and then applying it to my life! I don't know why this time I can do that but 4+ years ago I couldn't. Why do I feel different about that today?

Acceptance? Like Dallas, today I want #2 and like Dallas I want the following, very very much!!

"I want to live. I want to be sober. I want to be happy and at peace and comfortable -- while sober. I want a reasonably good life. I want to be sane."

I want that...

[Dallas]

Seeing "what is" -- as it is -- will not change "what is."

However, seeing "what is" -- as it is -- is a necessary step to intentionally create change.

The courage to change the things I can. And, the willingness to accept what I can't change.

If I keep my focus on acceptance -- It may feel good, in the moment -- but, I'll only attract more of what I can't change.

That's why I try to keep my focus on "the courage to change."

[dimples12562]

Good point!! And taken!! Good Morning Dallas!

[Dallas]

Good morning dimples!

Or... good afternoon!

Another one I like???? "The Courage to Chill!" I'm ALWAYS praying for more of that one!

[chollis]

Dallas, great subject. I agree with you that acceptance is like admitting to the fact that you may be an alcoholic or have a drinking problem. It doesn't make you a bad person it just means that you are actually admitting to yourself and accepting it. This is the first step in recovery and the fact that I, me, or we are not the only ones having this problem makes everything easier. We have to remember we are not the only ones here with this acceptance we all are in this together.