Hello, I would like to express an apology for dropping off the face of the website for a couple of weeks. Life on life terms have been so busy lately. Getting directly in the middle of AA, many meetings, and interviews, but still no job. But it is ok.
Dallas I needed to hear again that sometimes I will feel so close to my HP and then sometimes I feel so disconnected due to those old ways that seep in, challening me to think that I have control over changing some person, place or situation.
I will not beat myself up. But I am growing, not perfectly everyday, but I realize today not any of us do! lol Of course it is easy to "feel" when we feel so good as if we are almost touching heaven, (pink cloud), but the hard times are when we are not feeling that way, and have to feel those emotions without picking up that first drink. The good news is that I am learning, somedays I just need to feel that pain or emotion: and it is ok to feel that way, as long as I recognize where it is coming from, how I can change it into positive and that I do not have to stay in those emotions as long as I used to;or make it worse with a drink. To drink is to die, mentally, physically and spiritually today for me. And that is not where I want to be.
Learning to appreciate those times and stay connected with God is the hardest part when I am in that mind frame. Aside the fact of putting the plug in the jug, that is what the steps are about. Finding and having a relationship with a higher power that will restore me and has the care and direction of my life today. How easily I forget or rebel.
Today, I do not want to let the pain or emotions become stronger than the solution that is offered to me in this program. That is why I keep coming back. I get what I need exactly how the power of the program provides it through the power that is greater than us all.
Have a great day.