I just want to thank everybody who posted on this topic. It has been extremely enlightening for me. Like Dallas said, this cake is gonna have to bake for awhile now.
I was a toxic emotional mess when I arrived at my first meeting. I couldn't get into outpatient tx for a few weeks but I had ins. to cover it, for the most part, so I started drying out, kept working, listened to those who said go to 90 mtgs in 90 days. Hm. I know I'm looking backward and maybe that' not helpful to me, but if it helps someone else, then that' a good reason to share:
1) I had no balance doing the program this way. OTOH, no balance existed beforehand anyway... So it was what it was and I proceeded to get sober.
2) I found a sponsor who also sobered up this way & was encouraging. But not w the importance of balance: diet, exercise, vitamins.
3) I neglected my exercise during the first 3 mos. and proceeded to develop a hip flexor strain when I did start exercising again. I'm still limping and doing rehab exercises now, off crutches.
4) I could still do out-patient I guess, but as the hubster says, you sobered up now, what's the point, and tho depression comes and goes, learning how to "suffer effectively" --- do the "work" --- sit with the dark/depression/anxiety I used to run from --- not "run to a meeting."
5) In my first year of sobriety still, I have slowed down..I learned a lot in all those meetings...my marriage grew stronger...I was perplexed hearing the anxious voices in meetings proclaiming they 'had to get to a meeting.'
All of you who have shared so eloquently on this topic have helped me more than I can express. Maybe I can help someone starting out in seeking the balance I did not.
In sobriety,
Marg
