Hello hektic1 !!! It's really nice to see you here and to have you w/ us! Thank you!
And, a HUGE thank you -- for having the COURAGE to log-in and to share! I understand how much guts that takes -- because I remember my first post, too! A lot of crap was swirling around in my head... as I wrote my first message here... and it took all the courage I could muster up, just to be able to do it! So, I honor you -- for your courage! And, I thank you, for sharing.
I think that your HP is already at work for you. I think that She (or, He, if your HP is a He) helped you to find this place -- not only to get some help and guidance -- but, so that you could help us, too!
It's really tough to find a good Sponsor. I'm not with the understanding that Any Sponsor is better than no sponsor. At least, not for some of us.
When I talk w/ newcomers at the meetings -- I tell them, don't be in too much of a hurry to get a sponsor! First, just make some friends. Find some AA's that you feel comfortable with. Exchange phone numbers with them. Start asking "Does anyone get together after the meetings, for coffee and to talk?"
One of the Secrets? It's the one's that go to the meetings -- after the meetings -- is the best place to get some guidance on who might be good to be a sponsor for you.
You'll want to observe things like -- "How is this person in public? Away from AA? Away from meetings? How does the solution seem to be working in their life? Do they seem to be happy and comfortable while sober -- away from AA and away from the meetings?" This will help you decide -- if you think that the solution is working in the persons life. Because... if it isn't working for them -- do you think that what they offer you -- will work for you?
Another Secret? Begin reading the Big Book on your own, by yourself, at home, or at work, or in your car... maybe at the park, or at the coffee shop. Read from the front cover -- without skipping a page, all the way up to page 103. Then, read "Spiritual Experience" in the back of the book. Do that twice -- before asking someone to be your sponsor. And, do it AWAY from the meeting. Also, take Paula's suggestion, and "Pray!" It doesn't matter WHAT you believe, or even if you do or don't believe... just "Pray!" anyway... and ask that either the God of your understanding, or that some God, that you don't understand... to HELP you, as you read the book!
Then, continue to come back here, and share with us, what's going on for you. We care about you! You getting better -- helps us to get stronger and helps us to keep getting better, too!
If you need or want someone to talk with -- on the phone -- let me know. I've give you my cell number, and either you can call me or I'll call you. You can decide. And, I'm sure -- that others here on the forum will be willing to talk w/ you, too!
I noticed that you live in Great Falls. They do have some really good AA's there! You're really lucky to be getting sober in Great Falls! Some of the people from AA's very early history, many years ago, -- were responsible for helping AA to grow big and strong -- were from your area!
So. Imagine that! Who would have thunk it? You just got a few directions and suggestions -- and, that's ALL that a sponsor is for!
Keep checking in! You'll be glad that you did!