Hey there FlyingLeap!! Really glad to hear about the 18 days!! Good work!!
Keep comin back!! I also admire your willingness to be there for your SO at his time of need! Not an easy road! I don't have ANY ESH on this particular issue but I will ask you to consider a couple of things.
Do you have a Sponsor? A good Sponsor is invaluable for helping us work through these tough issues. My Spons tells me that when it comes to the heavy stuff I should be taking it FIRST to my HP (Higher Power) and then to her. This really helps me to make the right decision (not always the decision I WANT to make but that's the goal right? left to my decisions I am a miserable creature
Sounds like you have assured and reassured your SO that there will be no judgment from you if you are there, soooo.... having done/said/shared that with him, if he still doesn't want you there, respect (read: ACCEPT) his wishes, WITHOUT retribution. Things will come out between you when they are suppose to come out, we can't force things!! This time may not be the time for that but it will come and you have to let it come on its own terms. Prayer...
Focus on YOUR recovery FIRST!! If you don't go that week make that a week to hit a LOT of meetings, try different ones and IF you don't have a Sponsor, LOOK for one! Seek one out!! Go to a meeting and raise your hand and ask for one!! Take this issue to the rooms and ask for guidance (IF you don't already have a Sponsor). If you get no feed back from that meeting, do it again at a different meeting!
If you have a HP, nows the time to Pray. Ask your HP to guide you in the right direction and LISTEN. Ask your HP to send you to the right meetings that you might find another woman in recovery that will help you!!
Before every meeting I try to say a quick, quiet Prayer, "God, please let me hear what You want me to me hear and if I speak let me say what You want me to say"
Please let me know how this goes for you, I care and I'm here!!