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sponsor HELP!




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sponsor HELP!

Postby Darlngirl » Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:34 pm

I feel my sponsor is using me as her sponsor. Is it time for me to look for another sponsor? I may have answered my own question....she really doesn't do many mtgs, she does have 26 years sobriety..but doesn't use her sponsor...she is spiritual. dazzed and confused here....need feed back!!! She will say things like, she thinks I am pushing her away, when things are fine, I just think I am growing.....

:roll:
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Postby dimples12562 » Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:58 pm

Hey there Suzanne!! Glad to see you here!! My name is Paula and I'm an alcoholic :D

How long has she been your sponsor?
Has she taken you through the steps?
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Postby Darlngirl » Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:27 pm

dimples12562 wrote:Hey there Suzanne!! Glad to see you here!! My name is Paula and I'm an alcoholic :D

How long has she been your sponsor?
Has she taken you through the steps?


Hello Paula, I am Suzanne and I am an alcoholic, thank you for your response. She has been my sponser for three years and yes I have done the steps with her. She will complain to me about people, that I feel she should be talking to them directly, not to me. It just doesn't feel right anymore. I have ten years sobriety. I know she doesn't call her sponsor, cause she will tell me she doesn't....and at times I feel I am sponsoring her. I think the line between friendship ans sponsoring can get messed to the point that it can be unhealthy.
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Postby dimples12562 » Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:00 pm

I was in a similar position when I 1st came into the program. in "my" situation I picked a sponsor who I was able to steam roll (in a charminig way) we were more friends than anything else. I skipped along like that for over 4 years, not doing ANY step work or book study. Playin the loose & carefree romance game, until my lack of emotional sobriety almost took me back out!! I now have a Spons who is solid AA and no BS. She is a loving and firm woman and makes no bones about, IF I want this then I gotta do the work. Its about choices and I think you know what needs to be done.

Do you want to live a sober life happy joyous & free? Take the steps and the action required to have that. IF I came to you with this same situation, how would you advise me?
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Postby Darlngirl » Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:21 pm

dimples12562 wrote:I was in a similar position when I 1st came into the program. in "my" situation I picked a sponsor who I was able to steam roll (in a charminig way) we were more friends than anything else. I skipped along like that for over 4 years, not doing ANY step work or book study. Playin the loose & carefree romance game, until my lack of emotional sobriety almost took me back out!! I now have a Spons who is solid AA and no BS. She is a loving and firm woman and makes no bones about, IF I want this then I gotta do the work. Its about choices and I think you know what needs to be done.

Do you want to live a sober life happy joyous & free? Take the steps and the action required to have that. IF I came to you with this same situation, how would you advise me?


Thank you so very much...I also can relate to you in the sense that I needed a friend when I first got into recovery. Now I need some one who really LIVES the program, so I will be more involved, and solid, like you have said, no BS. Thanks for allowing me to run this past you and I am blest that you have responded. I am talking to her at six o'clock tonight. I want to remain friends, but I need a healthier, active program sponsor.
Darlngirl
 
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Postby dimples12562 » Thu Mar 08, 2012 5:03 pm

Let me know how it goes :)
~P
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Postby Dallas » Thu Mar 08, 2012 7:56 pm

Welcome to the forum!

I look forward to reading more from you!

Dallas
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Postby Darlngirl » Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:01 pm

dimples12562 wrote:Let me know how it goes :)

~P


My talk with my sponsor went ok, she cried allot....she had been hanging onto old issues. Months ago, she had invited me to several "couple" get togethers, but I am single, and there was alcohol being served at these parties, and I would always turn the invitaions down, KNOWING I would be safe being with her, BUT I would feel uncomfortable due to I am single and I alcoholic...and she was saying how much that had hurt her. I know, I hear you screaming, I have to get a new sponsor. :wink: what can I say....sometimes quickly some time slowly...I am a bit on the slow side...lol.
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Postby dimples12562 » Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:13 pm

suzanne maroney wrote:
dimples12562 wrote:Let me know how it goes :)

~P


My talk with my sponsor went ok, she cried allot....she had been hanging onto old issues. Months ago, she had invited me to several "couple" get togethers, but I am single, and there was alcohol being served at these parties, and I would always turn the invitaions down, KNOWING I would be safe being with her, BUT I would feel uncomfortable due to I am single and I alcoholic...and she was saying how much that had hurt her. I know, I hear you screaming, I have to get a new sponsor. :wink: what can I say....sometimes quickly some time slowly...I am a bit on the slow side...lol.


I don't scream these days :P but you're right! Find her, NOW!! Keep moving forward and there is no time to rest...YOU are fighting for your life and your happiness :wink:
dimples12562
 
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Location: Baltimore, MD

Postby Darlngirl » Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:23 pm

dimples12562 wrote:
suzanne maroney wrote:
dimples12562 wrote:Let me know how it goes :)

~P


My talk with my sponsor went ok, she cried allot....she had been hanging onto old issues. Months ago, she had invited me to several "couple" get togethers, but I am single, and there was alcohol being served at these parties, and I would always turn the invitaions down, KNOWING I would be safe being with her, BUT I would feel uncomfortable due to I am single and I alcoholic...and she was saying how much that had hurt her. I know, I hear you screaming, I have to get a new sponsor. :wink: what can I say....sometimes quickly some time slowly...I am a bit on the slow side...lol.


I don't scream these days :P but you're right! Find her, NOW!! Keep moving forward and there is no time to rest...YOU are fighting for your life and your happiness :wink:


thanks for being there....it is all just too much drama for me. HUGS!
Darlngirl
 
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