I started using drugs before I was old enough to drink.
I tried drinking, when I was about eleven years old,
but, I would puke up the alcohol and feel dizzy -- but I could keep the drugs down.
I kept at it -- trying to be able to handle drinking without getting sick.
I finally mastered the drinking -- and was able to drink while I did drugs.
I seemed to be able to control both of them for a while.
It's a lot easier to control them when locked up.
Getting locked up became a problem.
It seemed like every time I did drugs -- I was getting in trouble and getting locked up.
So, I increased my drinking -- to control my love for drugs.
It worked pretty well -- so, I fell in love with drinking.
When I'd get locked up when drinking -- it was always for a much shorter time,
and the institutions were a lot nicer.
Then, I seemed to lose total control over my drinking -- and when drinking, I was much more likely to end up drugging, too. When drinking? What does that mean? Well -- I didn't drink while I was sleeping. So, while I was sleeping, I could control the drinking -- until I woke up, or something woke me up. Then, it was like: Drink + drug + cigarette to help me get ready to have a cup of coffee.
Why did I seek help? I think it might have been because I got so drunk for so long -- that it didn't really occur to me that I was seeking help -- other than just some help to learn how to control it better.
I went to AA, and stayed sober for a few months. I really liked sobriety. But, unfortunately, sobriety didn't seem to like me.
So, I started drinking again and couldn't get sober again -- regardless of how many AA meetings I tried to go to.
I later found out -- that going to meetings were not enough to help an alcoholic like me, to stay sober, or even get sober. I ended up having to make some radical changes -- and that sucked big time -- while I was making the changes.
It's much better today. The changes helped me to change -- and that helped me so that I can now finally be happy & comfortable while sober.