LOL ~ brings back memories, of not too long ago.
the Big Book, for the first 3 years of my sobriety. Talk about contempt prior to investigation
~ I was so stubborn and spent a lot of time ranting and raving about how the book did not describe ME so therefore it was flawed. I went to BB meetings, hoping that I could learn to like the darn book, but really all I did when I shared was argue how the book was wrong.
For a while, therefore, I stopped going to BB meetings. It just wasn't worth the aggrivation!
Then something funny happened, although I was not laughing at the time.
My home group only had one meeting a week. I approached the pastor of the church where we meet and asked if we could have another night. He said yes, so I went to the group and told them that I got us another night because I wanted to have a closed discussion meeting (our other meeting is a Beginners meeting). They laughed and told me that it goes to a vote, to determine what type of meeting we'd have. I was stunned - I mean, I was the one who got us the night, shouldn't it be up to me?!?
Well, guess what the group voted for? A Big Book meeting!
So, deciding I was going to be a big girl and attend our new meeting anyway, I went to the first meeting and I sat on my hands the whole time so I wouldn't raise my hand to share and bash the book. I went to the second meeting, and by the end of the meeting, I broke out in tears. It had finally struck me why I hated the book so much. It was because I didn't understand it
. And the fear of not grasping a book that everyone spoke so highly of, caused me to rebel against it instead of taking a look at what it was I didn't understand.
When I finally started going through the book with a new perspective, breaking it down paragraph by paragraph, I began to see all the wisdom packed in to those pages. There still are parts that I don't identify with, but there are many many parts with which I do
Sometimes, it just takes me a while.