This reminds me of a meeting I used to attend when I was new in recovery.
I remember that this guy named Torey, who was very healthy looking, buffed, toned, obviously an exercise buff. Every time Torey shared he enthusiastically shared about "we can recover. we can get better. That's what this whole deal is about -- getting well, getting better!" As I've often looked back on the memories of Torey sharing -- I now realize that he was probably the only member in the meeting -- that had read the book Alcoholics Anonymous. And, he was probably the only member -- that I can remember -- that acted and talked and lived as though he was living the program in the book.
The rest of the group would jibe at Torey. Some would openly sigh, or laugh and shake their heads when he shared. Of course, I was hanging out w/ the loser's at that time -- it's easy to hang out and be a part of the loser-group -- they will accept and endorse and validate anyone that's a loser. As long as you criticize anyone that has anything that resembles sanity -- they welcome you right in!
Sometimes, even now, I'll think back to Torey and the crap the group gave him. He was on fire about wanting to help others. He was on fire in regards to try and burn it into our consciousness -- that we could recover, that we could get better. And, all he received in return was ridicule. And, I think about how dumb I was to not latch on to Torey and ask him to sponsor me and teach me the stuff that he found in the book.
No. I was a weak little sissy that wanted to look tough. I wanted to fit in w/ the loser's group. I wanted to be hip and cool. Oh yeah -- I wanted to stay sober too -- and I'll tell you for sure that it's only a MIRACLE that I survived during that phase of my stupidity.
I wish I knew how, and where, I could find Torey, today -- to make amends to him. To thank him. And, to let him know that all the stuff that he suffered while sharing -- is the wonderful program of recovery that saved my life, gave me a good life, and the same program that I'm living today.
Wherever you are Torey -- my hat is off to you, in sincere gratitude! Thank you for all the crap that you put up with. At least one of us -- Me -- now appreciates and understands what you were trying to share! You're one of my Heroes!