- What do you mean, just don't drink?

What do you mean, just don't drink?




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

What do you mean, just don't drink?

Postby Dallas » Mon Mar 26, 2012 9:12 pm

I remember being new in AA and hearing these old guys say stuff like "just don't drink and you won't get drunk." Then, they'd follow with something like "It's the first drink that gets you drunk. Just don't have the first drink!" Duh! Now, tell me how to not have the first one?

I spent a lot of time arguing w/ them about the first drink getting me drunk theory. The problem was: I wasn't understanding it the way that they were meaning it. I thought they meant like one drink and they'd be drunk. Well, kind of. 1. After the first drink -- my BODY and my mind demand another drink. Plain & simple. If I have the first one -- my body will have the second one -- regardless of "what I think about it" and regardless of what I want! So, that's what they were trying to tell me. But, you know us alcoholics? We seem to have inbred communicating problems. LOL. We say something and mean something else -- or we hear something and make it mean something different. :-)

My problem was: I KNEW based upon my personal history and experience -- that I was NOT capable of not taking the first drink. I had previously had years of experience of intending to not drink again -- or, at least, if I did drink -- to not drink like the last time I drank! LOL. The time when I puked all over the party and make a real jerk out of myself. Or, the time I got in trouble for stealing a set of hub caps (that wouldn't fit my car) and I had to tear them up and beat on them to get them of of some guys Cadillac -- in the middle of a well lit and highly people populated parking lot! LOL. (I guess I was alcoholic and not being too secret about it, aye? :-)

I'd end up doing some -- sometimes funny, but most often tragic things, after I started drinking. I did tragic -- over and over and over and over and over again! So, I knew ... "Duh? Don't drink the first one!" But... "HOW do I not drink the first one?" You see, that's what makes me alcoholic. I can not avoid -- on my own -- for a long period of time -- (like forever?) -- leave alcohol entirely alone! At some point, I'd ALWAYS pick up the first one! And, that was all it took to get me started.

I wanted to stop and to stay stopped. But, I had three problems w/ that. 1. No matter how well intentioned and determined I was and no matter how many promises I had made that "I don't do this again" -- I'd end up doing it again. 2. I didn't really comprehend "stay stopped." You see, when I'd stay stopped for a long period of time -- the insane idea would come to me that "Gee, Dallas! Look at you go, good old boy! You've obviously licked that drinking problem -- and SURELY now -- you can have one!"

So, as I came to understand it: 1. I had a physical problem (in the body) that my body could not tolerate one tiny sip of alcohol -- or, something tragic would happen, like -- I'd end up drinking a quart of whiskey. 2. My mind -- would not let me go -- without drinking.

After I put one and two together -- I had it figured out. But, the real problem was #3. I could not avoid #1 and #2. I wasn't capable of making it work because I didn't know "HOW do you do that?" HOW do you NOT have the first one?

Thanks for letting me share!
Dallas
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Re: What do you mean, just don't drink?

Postby Camel » Fri Apr 06, 2012 11:50 am

Yeah, I was greener than a frog when I walked through those doors, too. What did I know about living, or staying sober? Hell, the only reading I had done for years was Easy Rider Magazine, Road signs, and a PDR. Not much advancement into higher learning with that curriculum! Then one day I finally asked an Old Timer what did they mean by "it's the first one that gets you drunk?" He said, "It's simple, Son." "When you get stranded on the RR tracks, it's not the Caboose that kills ya'." I've heard it a thousand times since then, in my travels. The repetition of that, and all the others, help to keep me in check with this illness I have.

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Re: What do you mean, just don't drink?

Postby Dallas » Fri Apr 06, 2012 4:12 pm

Hey Keith. Hey Hub. Hub, did you also read Soldier of Fortune magazines? :-) Those were some of my favs.
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Re: What do you mean, just don't drink?

Postby Camel » Sat Apr 07, 2012 3:19 pm

Dallas wrote:Hey Keith. Hey Hub. Hub, did you also read Soldier of Fortune magazines? :-) Those were some of my favs.


Absolutely, and had visions of being known as "the best in the business." While I was sittin' on a bar stool, mind you. I hadn't thought of that in years. It's weird, really. I was a totally different person back then. But Oh, that's right...........this program deals in changed lives!


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Re: What do you mean, just don't drink?

Postby Dallas » Sat Apr 07, 2012 4:17 pm

Yep. It truly is amazing to go back in memory and remember the guy that I used to be. LOL. If I'm in a conversation w/ a normal person, talking about some of the stuff I did, or the way I was, you can see their face go into contortions trying to imagine me doing that kind of stuff. There's so much that I intentionally leave out when talking in a meeting or being a speaker at a meeting, because I realize that even many alcoholics just wouldn't understand. :-)

The joy overwhelms me sometimes to think back on "those were the days then" and "theses are the days now". And, what's really amazing now? I actually like the guy that I'm becoming! :-)
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Re: What do you mean, just don't drink?

Postby Dallas » Sun Apr 08, 2012 6:40 pm

I agree. It doesn't matter where they go or what they do -- if it helps them stay off the booze and recover, I'm all for it.

When I was a little kid I can remember my dad, who was a minister, preaching to real hard core alcoholics (like I became), and they'd get converted, become fine Christians, become deacons in his church, and spent the rest of their lives sober, and actively involved in service for God and for their neighbors. These were REAL alcoholics -- not just hard drinkers.

When I was about 22 yrs old, I had the same experience. The difference was: I couldn't stay sober. I loved God more than anything. I wanted to serve him and others. And, I really did do my best to dedicate my life towards doing that. I tried and tried and tried -- and, I'd end up drinking again.

That's why when I decided to try AA, and found them using the "God" word -- I automatically figured, "This won't work for me. I've been there and done that before."

Honestly? I don't know why church didn't work for me and AA did work for me -- other than, I began to wonder, IF, God wanted me in AA, because that's where He wanted me to be. Then, I realized, that it wasn't any of my business to figure it out, my business was simply to be where God wanted me to be, doing what God wanted me to do, regardless if it was in a church, in AA, or being the clean up guy in a hot dog stand. :-) It works for me.

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