Madly in love with a man in AA, terrified of my actions

A discussion of topics about relationships in Recovery
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Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:33 pm

Madly in love with a man in AA, terrified of my actions

Postby erutxet » Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:09 pm

I fell in love with my sponsor's ex boyfriend. This girl is now my ex-sponsor, because she had still been in love with this man all along .. but when I met him it was clear we had a connection, and she had to bow out.
This guy wants to wait a year, but I can barely take it. I know he's the one, and I can hardly help myself from contacting him. I told him I wanted to get engaged on Easter, so about two weeks ago. He told me it was too soon, and to wait a year before dating. All I could do was ball my eyes out. I went to the hospital later that day and stayed for 10 days because I was psychotic and insane ... HEARTBREAK! He won't talk to me and threatens to call the police if I text him too much .. How do I be patient .. I keep facebooking him and I hate myself ..

This is just a taste of what I've been sending him ..

1) [Lover] admits he is powerless over his feelings toward [my name] and that his life has become unmanagable without her.
[Lover] doesn't want to admit complete defeat, but this is the first step in liberation. Be humble. Mental obsession will continue to stir up the physical allergy, your unwavering feelings for me. [:)]
2)[Lover] comes to believe that a power greater than himself can restore him to sanity.
[Lover] is scared to commit to a new relationship because his past method of being alone has worked so well for him. If he' alone, he can't get hurt. But still, he knows he loves [me], so there is a huge problem. He really doesn't want to be alone. But the fear of [me] letting him down is so great that he does not want to risk it. Good thing that [me] will love him until he can love himself and come to terms with his past relationships with other women. [Lover] is trying to be indifferent but he can't because his feelings for [me] and to no longer be alone are too strong. He needs to stop being so self righteous and defiant. Defiance is an outstanding chatateristic of men who are afraid.

Tell me when you're ready for the rest babe

Tradition Three : The only requirement for membership in our relationship is a DESIRE to begin to love the TWO PEOPLE IN IT

you know what ### you man i am so ### angry you are hurting me so much this is ### is it really against your ### rules to say one word to me, i hate to say it but i'm really wondering if you know what your heart is for, maybe you've been white knuckling it for the last five years and haven't REALLY understood the steps LIKE WHAT THE F U C K I N G H E L L it's so ### silent on your end like are you kidding me right now i wonder if i was in the hospital if you would come to see me and kiss my forehead or just ### hang out with your sponsor instead and self righteously say IN GODS TIME IN GODS TIME SHE WILL GET WELL ### YOU [lover] I mean that's what you did the last time i was in the hospital so ### you

He won't REPLY TO ME. How do I stop harassing him and get on with my own life.. this is hellish ... my heart is breaking.. I cry every night... help.

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Re: Madly in love with a man in AA, terrified of my actions

Postby Dallas » Sun Apr 29, 2012 8:20 pm

You might want to check out Al-Anon and see if they can help you.

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