The Progression of Death

A discussion of topics about relationships in Recovery
Rusty Zipper
Posts: 371
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 11:19 pm

The Progression of Death

Postby Rusty Zipper » Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:21 pm

i would first off like to say that this is mainly a alcohol recovery site, but lets face it, addiction is addiction...good morning, March 31 i got a phone call from my stepbrat, The Big unit...Jim he said Pattee, ya sit'n down, yep, the answer... he said Moms beloved friend for two plus years... oh my gosh Jim, the instant reaction was No!, No!, No!... i wept like a baby, composed my self and flew over... when i got there the detectives were finishing up what they do, they ask'd me a few questions... off they went.... the permedics did what they could, but it was too late... The Rat named addiction one.... so, so , sad... i'm writing this of course not to belittle my beloved friend, or blacken her name, ... i'm writing this so anyone who is in this sittuation may see the seriousness of it...that they might get one key to geting their loved one help sooner, or themselfs if needed. it can be very draining. emotionaly, physicaly, and spiritualy...the damage one actively useing is horendous... alanon is a big help... do not keep it in... the phases, the words spoken, the attitudes... the physical looks of the person heading down the road to death... the first thing i have to mention is of course, we are POWERLESS... if the other does'nt want help...but theirs always a chance... in Nov. my friend had gotten pnuemonia... had broken her ribs from coughing, yep... now heres a person that has struggled with addiction all her life... this time around, my friend had just gotton two years clean time, amazing for this one... i do remember my friend saying to me, Patrick, if i dont make it, theres not another recovery left in me....well heres the scene as it unfolded... of course she was in pain, did not tell the doctors she was in recovery, and they gave her some Oxycodones... Yikes!... the first perscription was alright, she gave them to me to hand out... i'm in recovery myself not a real smart thing looking back on it... i was handing then out as NEEDED... it was going ok... as the pain seamed to persist, we went back to the Docs and she told me that their not healing... another perscription, and i hold again... at the end of that week, i had to do something on sunday morning, the night before, i get a Instant Message from my sweetie, she said, Honey, as your galavanting all over the world, when am i going to get my pill?... well right there and then i knew what was happening. The Rat named addiction was comeing out of the hole.. i said, i will be home by 2, you can wait... well the answer was what the f'k do you know, dont let your fears compound mine... oh, brother here we go... we talked it out later, i said please be carefull ... she said ok, well right after Thanksgiving, i went over there, she had a odd look on her... i ask whats up Hon, she said Patrick, i liked my sobriety date.. i said oh-no, she said yep... i said then that makes me a accountable too, i had given her a few extral a couple of times, cuz i felt for her pain... #######... she said do not feel that way, it will make it worse... she fessed up, she hid a refill from me... so that means now she was takeing double the dose's... as the progression spread, the irirability, the nasty disposition,, the temper, the anger, the finger pointing, and the list goes on. ohoh my favorite, you dont have the letters MD after you name, well to shorten this a bit, she was running to doctor to doctor, hunting down pills... her primary doctor sent us to pain managment, they gave her some Fenytol patches... Thats for post op... to be used one patch, every two days... now with this, the oxy's, the Seriquil, the Adavan, AderolLexipro, Xanex, she was finding, Crack, she stil complained about headache's... shure, it was a narcotic headache... no its not she said. what the f'k you know again...the wreckage of her useing made life hell for all of us who love her, the $$$, i'm broke, her kids, anger, she lost her job... school that meant so much to her, all gone in a matter 3 i tried to tell her sister the seriuosness of it, and i do not bame her sister, shes a wonderfull person... her kids, they just didn't care anymore, a lifetime for them... they had it, her Ex, didn't care, i did call her theropist... he said he will talk to her, well i let her do her thing, as i did mine, recovery!!!... the day came a few weeks ago when she called me and said Patrick, will you take me to detox? you bet we went, and as she was sitting on the gurney, the doc asks, why are you here?, the answer, well those pain managment people , blah, blah, blah...### being the victom, the #### her son and i were behind her shakeing our heads... we talked with the doc, he said we do not take people in for pills, but he would see what he could do... he came back, and said we will for her, but its this way, or the highway, no deals... said to my friend i give you time to make up your mind... she said ok... as she was waiting there the high was starting slide,, she was fussing, kicking screaming, calling me this and that... i just said shut the f'k up... well four days in the detox, i sprung her, and after we come home she says, the doc wanted me to go to another place for ten more days... she simply said nope... did it, done it, got my Tee-Shirt, it doesn't work.... she was refused IOP, a in/out follow up for methadone withdrawl, thats what they put her on to withdraw from the cocktail of pills she was on... well the next morn the coo-cooness started all over, going to other doctors, calling all over for someone to give her more pain pills... her sister tip'd off her primary care doc, tg!...she never got any, this was not too long ago. what was left? stealing hers sisters pills, selling off the beautifull antique jewelery i had given her over the years... go'n to the hood to cop Crack... my friend was bloated in Dec. from all the percisets she was useing, then the dramatic wait loss from the patches.. she wasn't eating, layin in the Rat whole of her room, school, forget it, that was done...couldn't function to go... i was bringing her kids where they had to go... oh, hears a good one... i go over one night, she wasn't there. kid says sit down, Maw up to her old tricks again... she fell down stairs go'n out... broke foot going to cop crack... talked to her sponser, i was with her when she did, and never said how she broke foot, theres that Honesty we need for recovery...... well you know the rest, last friday, too much Crack, on a frail body, my Trishy's heart gave out... i will miss he so, she was well loved in her recovery site. Soberrecovery... she always had kind words to those in need over there, post'd tons of insperational verses, prayers, and poems... quanity, she just never got the quality... her inner self was always tormented, she did love her children, but carried all the guilt, shame and remorse from all the not being their for them for years, she loved music, the arts, poetry, loved to laugh.. and most importantly she did love me... she has given to my recovery more than she could ever know, not just what not to do, but i have learn'd pataince, tollerance, unconditional love, trust, belief, faith, and more, all from her insanity... The Rat one, but so have all that loved her. the cao's, anxiety, the stress, the calamity, confusion has ended, the house is at peace, and i know my Trishy is also... addiction sucks, to those who have a loved one activly useing, i do understand... i pray for you, and if theirs anything i may do or say to help you, just ask... all my love, and blessings, Rusty

Posts: 101
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 12:10 am


Postby wareagle10 » Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:36 am

PC, Thank you for your heartfelt sharing on the loss of a very good friend. I know the tragedy and shock of a sudden loss of someone even though you know that there might be this kind of end in sight. My friend George died suddenly 2 weeks ago and it left me devastated. I can sympathize with your loss, and again, thank you for sharing her story so that we all can gain with the knowlege that we are very fraile and need to stay close to the program.
You take care of yourself and stay close to those who love and care for you during your period of mourning.
Take care and straight ahead, John.

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